“Rae-Rae!” he shouts. He toddles toward us, looking up at Sawyer with big, brown eyes.
I pick up my nephew, hauling him onto my hip as I turn to Sawyer.
“This is Uncle Sawyer,” I say.
“Sawer,” he repeats, looking at his uncle. “Your beard!”
Sawyer laughs, rubbing the facial hair on his jaw. “I should shave,” he says, reaching over to touch Roman’s nose. Roman giggles, backing away and hiding his face in my neck.
My heart grows three sizes, until it feels like it’ll crack my ribs. I’m so full of joy…
…and my thoughts flick to Benji.
Is it weird that I wish he were here with us?
Sawyer lets out a sigh, turning toward Lucy. She wraps her arms around our brother, and more tears are shed. When the four of us head inside, my heart feels light. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and a brick wall has shattered in front of me. I can move forward with my life now.
The three of us can build a life together the way we always wanted.
As Sawyer gets to know his nephew, I head to the kitchen for a moment of quiet. My phone buzzes. Benji’s name pops up, with a simple message that says, Everything okay?
I lean against the kitchen counter, letting out a sigh. I misjudged Benji. He’s not just some big, burly mechanic with a protective streak for my brother.
He’s kind. Caring. Thoughtful.
Even when I ran away from his first kiss, he still messaged Sawyer. A lesser man would have felt jilted. Offended. Jealous.
Not Benji.
He brought us together.
I type out a quick response, promising to talk to him later. For now, though, I need to spend time with my family.
After Lucy puts Roman to bed, we open a bottle of wine and sit around the kitchen table. Sawyer looks around the house, arching an eyebrow.
“Very minimalist furnishings in here,” he notes.
“We just moved in,” I say. “Waiting on the delivery of a couch.”
Lucy smiles, touching her glass to mine. “Even if we had no furniture, it would still be the perfect house. Roman loves it here. Has two best friends next door already. I think he’s in love with Gabby.”
Sawyer glances out the window, jerking his chin at my bright, white, soon-to-be-sold car. “Still have your sweet sixteen car, eh.”
“Not for long,” Lucy interjects, huffing. “Rae insisted on selling it, even though I know it kills her inside.”
Sawyer’s eyebrows jump up. “You’re selling it?”
“This house isn’t going to furnish itself.” I chuckle, trying to hide the sadness in my voice.
I know it’s just a car. I know. In my brain, I understand that. But letting go of that car is like the final tie to my old life. A worn-out security blanket. The last symbol of where I came from. I have to let go of it to move on. Selling the car is an important step in finding my own feet.
But, damn, I do love that ride. Over-the-top and ostentatious as it might be.
Sawyer smiles, understanding filling his eyes. He knows we don’t have Mom and Dad’s money. He knows I bought this house on my own, even though I did take their job and their generous salary package. He knows that even though I went about it a different way, I still have the same goal as he does—to stand on my own two feet and support the people I love.
“I’m sorry I left,” he blurts out, shifting his gaze from me to Lucy. “If I’d known…”
Lucy waves a hand. “Don’t worry about it. We knew you’d come around. Rae didn’t stop looking for you. Not for a minute.”
When Sawyer’s eyes meet mine, regret roars within them. He clears his throat, reaching across the table to pat my hand with his.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
I shake my head, jagged rocks in my throat stopping me from speaking. Instead, I just clink my glass to his and smile at my sister.
This is what I’ve worked for. This is what I’ve wanted from the moment everything fell apart.
So why am I thinking about how much I wish Benji were sitting beside me to experience it, too?
17
Benji
I look through the curtains at the front of my house when I hear voices outside. Rae is dropping Sawyer off next to his car. It stayed parked in front of my house while he went to meet his nephew for the first time.
Rae waves at him as he drives away, then turns her gaze to the house. I watch as she takes a deep breath, smoothing her hair, then hesitates. She turns away, then pauses again.
I smile.
Finally, Rae straightens her shoulders and spins back around toward my house. With a deep breath, she walks toward my front door.
My heart thumps.
It killed me to see her walk away with Sawyer, even though I knew they needed time together. The memory of what we did in the back of her car is still fresh. It keeps surging to the front of my mind. For the past couple of hours, all I’ve been able to think about is the taste of her lips and the way her body felt when she came.
I want to do it again. And again. And again.
The doorbell rings, and this time, it’s my turn to smooth down my hair. I straighten my shirt, taking a deep breath, then pull it open.
Rae stands on my doorstep, smiling hesitantly. “I don’t have cookies this time,” she says. “But I did want to say thank you.”
I pull the door open wider and she steps through, ducking her head. Her cheeks are pink.
I gesture toward the living room. She sits down and I head to the kitchen. I grab a couple of beers from the fridge and offer her one without a word. She nods in thanks.
We don’t need to speak much to understand each other. I sit beside her on the couch, my eyes drifting over her face, her neck, her chest. I clear my throat, taking a sip of the
