“Why? How? Who?” I asked, apparently unable to form complete sentences.
“Oh, that’s easy,” Rosemarie said. “This is what friends are for. You’ve got a rogue husband to find and a baby on the way. Look at this as a really expensive shower gift, only you’re going to have to pay us instead of the other way around, and it’ll take a lot longer than one afternoon.”
“Nick is going to kill me,” I said.
“Pssh,” Barry said. “You are carrying his child. That man would give you the moon right now if he could. Take advantage of this while you can because after your childbearing years I hear you have to manipulate and go behind his back.”
“What about your businesses?” I asked. “You can’t just close up shop to do this. Whatever this…” I said, waving my hand, “…is. It’s nuts.”
“That’s why I put my old crew back together,” Barry said. “This is Lonny, Brandon, Carlos, and Richard. They do good work. As far as me and Rosemarie, you let us worry about our schedules. She’s appointment only, and I have employees just for this reason.”
“You do a lot of random renovations for almost strangers?” I asked.
Barry laughed, and that was a very familiar sound. “I’ve got occupational ADD. It comes from growing up rich and becoming bored easily. I just like to keep myself entertained while I’m spending my trust fund.”
“But the cake shop,” I said. “You’re so talented.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t talented, but the cake shop just started turning a profit this year. I love making cakes. But when I don’t feel like doing it I don’t. I’m in high demand. And if I can confess, it pisses my mother off when she sees me driving the van around town.”
“It’s all a web of lies,” I said, shaking my head.
“What’s going on here?” Scarlet said from the stairs. “I could hear the ruckus all the way in my bedroom. I was getting my beauty sleep.”
Everyone stood frozen for a moment at the sight of her. She wore a leopard-print silk robe with a fur collar, her hair was in a turban, and mascara was smudged under her eyes so she looked like she’d been in a fight and lost. If Cruella de Vil had a much older and shorter sister, it would’ve been Scarlet.
“Sorry about that, Scarlet,” Rosemarie said, a little too cheerfully. “We came over with a surprise for Addison.”
Scarlet looked each of the men over like she was buying a horse at auction. “Ooh, I love a good strip show,” she said, rubbing her hands together. “Did I miss it? Let me get my dollars. I keep them in an envelope under the mattress just in case.”
Richard looked at Barry. “She has stripper emergencies?”
“Don’t ask,” Barry said.
Scarlet turned to go back upstairs but I stopped her. “They’re not strippers,” I told her. “They’re construction workers.”
“I don’t think so,” she said. “I know a stripper when I see one. That one there has shaved legs.”
“Laser hair removal,” Carlos said. “I’ve got a show tonight, and shaving this much body hair is a real bitch.”
I could appreciate that sentiment.
“What kind of a show?” Scarlet asked. “I like a good show. You got extra tickets?”
Carlos smiled. “I’ve got a front table just for you.”
“Carlos does a mean Liza Minnelli,” Barry said.
“Huh,” Scarlet said, looking at Barry. And then she narrowed her eyes. “Do I know you?”
“I’m Suzanne. From the cake shop,” Barry said.
“Oh, good,” she said, as recognition came into her eyes. “I thought maybe you were one of my walk of shames.” She blew out a sigh of relief. “I’ve had a few over the years. And you’re just my type. It’s real awkward when you run into them after you sneak out into the night.”
“I’ve been there,” Barry said. “It’s not our fault. We’re just too beautiful, and people get so attached.”
“Did you bring breakfast?” Scarlet asked.
“It’s in my trunk,” he said.
“You might be husband number six if you keep romancing me like this.”
Barry threw his head back and laughed. I was glad everyone was having a great time, acting like they weren’t seconds away from knocking the house down. Not to mention this didn’t exactly jive with my plans.
My plans for the day had included going back to my mother’s and catching a flight to Miami. Nowhere in my plans was having my house demolished by drag queens or dragging Scarlet along with me to keep her out of trouble and rubble. I could get things done more efficiently if I left my two sidekicks at home. And I could be twice as efficient if I could talk Nick into making a quick trip with me. People listened to Nick. They stopped when he told them to stop. No one chased him with knives or Weed eaters. I felt bad about asking him, but there was a chance he’d wrapped his case. It was a small chance, but a chance is a chance.
I thought through my plan of action, and I figured the only way I could do it without hurting anyone’s feelings was to lie or manipulate. Or maybe a little of both.
I pulled Rosemarie to the side while Barry made himself at home and toured the house with the crew. It felt like this was one of those times where I should just go with whatever they had planned, so that’s what I was going to do. I was going to have complete faith in my friends to make sure that my baby had a place to come home to that wasn’t a
