She wasn’t sure how long she lay in the grass. At one point she rolled onto her back and watched the sun’s rays pass through the broad poplar leaves swaying in the breeze above her.
Eventually, her emotions settled enough that she thought she could face returning to the house. She saw her father enter the house ahead of her and was struck by how much she’d agreed to settle for this life. Even though this was not the life she’d envisioned for herself. And even as she realized this, she knew that only she could change the course her life had taken.
Chapter Thirty-one
Lovey was still in terrible spirits two days later when Joe stopped by to sit with her on the porch. He seemed oddly quiet. It was just as well because she had decided to break things off with Joe. She was miserable, and she guessed that she must be making Joe miserable, although he hadn’t said as much.
She might as well just be alone. If she couldn’t have what she wanted, the person she truly desired, then she would rather have no one. She would rather be alone.
She was getting ready to say something to Joe when he spoke first.
“Something terrible has happened, Lovey.” He held his hat in his hand as he sat beside her on the rocker.
A small table between them held a pitcher of lemonade that she’d carried out just after he arrived. She set her glass there and looked at Joe. She really looked at him. He was obviously burdened with something, and she’d been too distracted with her own melancholy to notice.
“What is it, Joe?”
“Two nights ago, at the Mill…there was a terrible accident.”
Lovey’s already unsettled stomach churned. Oh God, please don’t say something happened to Royal. She waited for him to continue as her mind raced ahead to think the worst.
“Royal and I got into a fight and—”
“You hurt Royal?” The pitch of Lovey’s voice went up an octave.
“No, but there were two other men, and Royal and I were wrestling and we didn’t see them coming. But Ned did and he stepped in front of them.”
“Joe, what happened?” Lovey’s heart pounded in her chest and in her ears like thunder.
“Ned was killed. One of the fellas had a wooden club. He was about to swing at us, but Ned caught him first. The blow knocked him back, and when he fell he hit the edge of the raised porch. The fall broke his neck.”
Lovey covered her mouth with her hand, horrified. Royal must be crushed.
“I guess these fellas had tried to hurt Grace Watkins before and Royal had stopped them so two of them had come back to get even with her, only they hadn’t counted on Ned or me.”
“Oh my God. This is terrible.” In her shock, Lovey continued speaking without remembering to filter what she was saying. “I was with Royal that night. The night she stopped those men from hurting Grace.”
As soon as she spoke, she realized she’d revealed more to Joe than she’d intended. She looked over at him and couldn’t quite discern his reaction. He didn’t seem surprised.
“Lovey, I know something happened between you and Royal.”
“How—”
“Laurel Lee told me. She knew the day that Royal came to the church lunch.”
Lovey didn’t know what to say. She studied her hands folded in her lap. She waited for Joe to become angry. She waited for the words of recrimination to come, but they never came. Instead of reproach, his words only carried kindness.
“If I hadn’t called Royal out to tell her to stay away from you, then Ned might still be alive. I shouldn’t have tried to control things. I should have listened to my own heart.”
Lovey felt tears gathering around her lashes. “And what does your heart tell you, Joe?”
“It tells me that you’re in love with someone else and that I need to let you go.” A tear slowly trailed down his unshaven cheek, and Lovey brushed it away with her fingers.
“Oh, Joe.” She took his hand in hers, feeling truly connected to him for maybe the first time. “I never meant to lead you on or be dishonest. I just…”
“I know, Lovey. The world ain’t always fair. But you can’t help who you love. And right now, Royal needs you.” He brushed at another tear as it fell. “I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t say this to you and try to make things right.” He stood abruptly. Lovey stood also and pulled him into a hug.
“Where is she?”
“The funeral was gonna be this afternoon. I’m guessing she’s at the cemetery up at the Hill Church.” Joe stepped off the porch and pulled on his hat. It had started to rain. “I can take you there in the buggy if you want.”
Lovey nodded and without hesitation followed Joe to his carriage and climbed aboard.
❖
The mourners had come and gone. Standing in the rain under a darkened sky in their black clothing, her uncle had stared her down with his silent rage. She knew he’d wished she was in the pine box, under the dark earth instead of Ned.
Her mother had been the last to leave Royal’s side. She’d taken Teddy home to meet others at the house who were bringing food and anything else they could that might provide some comfort, but there was no comfort.
The preacher had said the things he knew he should say. The things people expected to hear on a day such as this. That mankind in our smallness cannot know the mind of God in workings such as these. That we must all trust in the Lord’s divine plan for our lives even when things seem terrible or unfair.
How could Ned’s death be God’s will?
This was nothing more than accidental chaos inflicted on the innocent. With Royal lay all the blame. She should never have started a fight with Joe. She should have listened to Ned. She should have let Lovey
