Royal stood rock still in her black suit at the gravesite, letting the rain flood her senses. The previously sun-warmed, freshly turned earthen mound beneath which her cousin Ned took his final rest was steaming in the cool, summer shower. She studied the dark earth, watching small rivulets develop and run along the raised mound. She clenched and unclenched her fists. She silently recited a poem she’d written. Words she’d been carrying since Ned’s fateful fall.
The end of all things comes swiftly
Without warning
Without empathy
Cold, black, nothingness arrives complete.
Others left to feel the absence
That I will not perceive
I am no more
All that might have been, abandoned.
Everlasting nothing
Moonless midnight
Selfless at last
All my worries forgotten, forevermore.
She didn’t want to leave Ned alone. She was the last witness to remain at the site of his eternal sleep and found herself unable to walk away.
❖
Lovey hugged Joe and thanked him before she stepped out of the buggy.
“Do you want me to wait?”
“No, you’ve done enough. Thank you, Joe.”
He touched his hat and snapped the reins, leaving her standing in the rain to look for Royal. The funeral must be over. Only Royal’s car remained, a car with a dented front fender and broken headlight, and a single bullet hole. Royal had to be here somewhere.
After searching for a few moments, she found Royal lingering by the fresh grave, rain soaked and forlorn. Lovey stepped close, but Royal didn’t seem to notice her.
Grace and Sam stood twenty feet away or so, under a black umbrella. Silent sentinels bearing witness to Royal’s grief from a respectful distance.
Lovey reached out and touched Royal’s face with her fingers and only then did Royal turn and notice her presence. Her eyes were dark and clouded with grief. Her long lashes laden with raindrops.
“Come with me, baby,” Lovey whispered to her, caressing her cheek softly. She took Royal’s arm, and as they turned toward the car, she nodded to Grace and Sam as if to say, I’ll take care of her.
Lovey opened the door of the black Ford and waited until Royal was settled before she circled the front of the car and climbed into the driver’s seat. The keys were still in the ignition. She cranked the car and eased the heavy auto off the soggy grass back onto the muddy unpaved road.
Royal slumped against the window. Raindrops streamed down the glass past her reflection. If she was surprised to see Lovey, it did not register on her face. They rode in silence as Lovey drove them back into town. After parking out of sight behind the tavern, she took Royal’s hand and they solemnly climbed the stairs to Royal’s place hand in hand.
Once behind the locked door, Lovey stepped close to Royal. She slipped her hands inside Royal’s dark, sopping wet suit coat and eased it off her shoulders, hanging it on the back of a nearby chair. Then she took a towel off the stand near the basin and began to gently dry Royal’s hair. Royal seemed lost. She didn’t speak, and she made no move to assist Lovey with her task. Her face was wet with rain or tears or both. Lovey’s damp dress clung to her body, causing her to shiver. But she needed to tend to Royal first.
Lovey kissed her cheek and whispered, “Let’s get you out of these drenched things.”
As Lovey began to unbutton the sagging starched white shirt, Royal covered her eyes with the palms of her hands and sobbed quietly. There was no sound, only the shaking of her shoulders. Lovey pulled Royal’s hands away from her face, dabbing at the tears with the towel, and then shifted Royal’s arms so that she could remove the wet shirt. There was a damp undershirt to pull over Royal’s head before she was bare chested in front of Lovey.
She saw that Royal had bruises on her forehead and around one eye. She wondered if that was from hitting the tree with her car or from the fight with Joe. She traced a fingertip around the outside edge of the bruises.
Lovey softly stroked Royal’s arms. She pulled Royal close and kissed her along her jawline and then down her neck. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered against Royal’s neck.
“What are you doing here?” Royal’s voice was hoarse with emotion.
“I knew you needed me. Oh, Royal, I’m so sorry about Ned. I’m so sorry about everything.”
Righteous anger had allowed Royal to create distance between them, but underneath her rage lurked a heavy unrequited want, a need to be known, a need to be held by Lovey. Royal knew a touch would be all it would take. One brush of Lovey’s fingertips in just the right spot and Royal knew she would burst into flame for her. She wanted to be wholly consumed, to bury herself in the depths of her. She stood at the edge of darkest grief. Did Lovey sense her longings?
She stood silently as Lovey unfastened her belt and trousers. Royal stepped out of the rest of her clothing, and Lovey ushered her to the bed and under the covers. She looked up at Lovey, waiting for what might happen next.
After a few minutes of silent deliberation, Lovey pulled off her wet things and climbed under the covers next to Royal. Her skin was smooth but cool to the touch because of the chill of the rain and standing for too long in damp clothing.
Lovey propped herself up on one elbow, and with her other hand, stroked Royal’s face and down the center of her chest. She sweetly kissed Royal on the cheek.
“Lovey, I’ve missed you so terribly.”
“I know, baby. I’ve missed you too.”
Lovey had never used that term of endearment for Royal, and just the sound of it sweetly uttered and meant for her caused a tear to rise and roll slowly down her cheek.
Royal pulled Lovey into a long, deep
