Her window of opportunity was closing along with the ramp; the moment it shut the privateer ship would take off, leaving her behind on this planet. Stranded. Last chance to change her mind. She wasn't going to, already struggling to overcome her sadness at leaving Aiden and Dax on the others so she could focus on her new life here on Callous.
Last chance last chance LAST CHANCE!
Lana felt her steps falter, her expression slacken, her body move of its own accord. Almost before she realized it, she was slipping her hand free of Velsie's and turning to run back towards the ship. She couldn't even think of a good reason why, but she was going all the same. Something in her just wouldn't let her leave the Last Stand.
“Lana?” Jorroc's granddaughter called in confusion. Lana ignored her.
Up ahead the crew had paused at the shout, standing at the top of the ramp to watch her approach. Lana stumbled as she regained control of her legs, but kept running to the ramp and up it.
“Aww, you couldn't leave me after all,” Barix said, grinning at her.
Aiden, on the other hand, looked confused, almost angry, as he watched her climb the last few steps to join them. “I hope this is just you saying goodbye.”
Lana glanced down at her satchel in amusement. “Yeah, after I said my goodbyes and lugged my stuff a hundred or so yards across the green, I lugged it back here so it could say goodbye, too.” He didn't smile back, and she sobered. “I decided to stay part of your crew, obviously. Is that a problem?”
It clearly was, and in a way she was touched that he cared enough about her to want to make sure she was safe. But instead of protesting he just shook his head. “I learned at Midpoint it's pretty useless to give you advice, since you just ignore it.”
But you do it anyway, and you're not above saying “I told you so”. “Seems like you ignore things, too,” she said firmly, eyes narrowed. “You assumed I didn't want to be on this ship. You assumed I didn't want to fight the people who took my life away. You made a choice that would change my life without even talking to me.”
Aiden glanced away, towards the others. Lana kept her eyes on the older man, mostly because she couldn't bring herself to meet Dax's eyes just yet. “All of you, to your stations,” he snapped. “Gunner, get us ready to take off.”
To Lana's surprise, not even the twins balked or even offered any snark as they all headed towards the cargo bay's inner door. Dax paused just long enough to give her an inscrutable look before saluting the captain and following.
Which left her alone with Aiden, still on the ramp and with him blocking her path onto the ship. Was he going to try to kick her off in spite of her wishes? Strand her on Callous for her own good? Lana felt her expression begin to slacken again, body preparing to move against her will to press against the captain's and . . . kiss him?
Why? The idea stirred a confusing jumble of emotions within her, exciting and terrifying at the same time.
Aiden didn't seem to notice her inner turmoil. “Why are you doing this, Lana?” he asked her pleadingly. Begging her to help him understand.
As if she understood any better than he did. Lana felt the urge to throw herself at the man fade, and instead squared her shoulders and looked resolutely into his piercing green eyes. “You're not the only one who feels the need to fight. Maybe the sight of this colony made the thought of the ugliness out in the universe that much more unbearable. I want to do something about it.”
“As part of a crew of privateers?” he asked with surprising harshness.
Lana hesitated, looking away. “Maybe I don't think that's all you are, anymore,” she admitted quietly. “The question is, are you going to stop me from fighting? Would you want someone to stop you, even if they thought it was for your own good?”
Aiden rolled his eyes, frustrated. “Yes, I'm so selfish for arranging for you to have a good life with a good family on a peaceful, prosperous colony, instead of constant danger on a ship that faces one battle after another.”
Lana wasn't sure she even believed any of what she was saying, couldn't quite understand why she was here, on this ramp, arguing to be let back onto the ship. But that didn't stop her from replying in a tone of certain finality. “I don't want to leave. Unless you're breaking your promise about letting me be a member of your crew, I'm staying.”
He stared at her for a long time, expression neutral. Then he sighed. “Well, we might be swinging back this way in a few months, after you've had time to realize you made a huge mistake and change your mind.”
She felt what seemed like a disproportionate surge of relief. “Good.” Hefting her satchel of belongings, she slipped past him into the ship.
Aiden didn't follow, and when she glanced back from the inner door of the cargo bay she found him still standing there staring after her, expression as inscrutable as Dax's.
* * * * *
Lana felt like she should be trying to figure out what had just happened to her. What had possessed her, perhaps literally, to turn down a good offer and come back. To go so far as to try to throw herself at the captain to get back on the ship.
But any attempt to turn her thoughts in that direction resulted in irritating distraction and a strong disinterest in the subject. Before long she gave up and let it slip from
