It was a side of him she hadn't seen before. One she felt like she had to address. “This is a different look for you.”
Aiden turned to look at her, expression still nearly peaceful, one eyebrow raised quizzically. “Hmm?”
Lana waved at the socializing colonists behind her, and Dax and the kids out playing on the field. “Down here on this planet, around these people. You almost act like you don't hate everyone and everything.”
She'd expected him to take offense, but he just chuckled and sprawled back on the grass, looking up at the cloudless sky. “Humanity's capable of incredible beauty as well as unbelievable horror,” he said quietly. “One of the greatest crimes of the Deconstructionist Movement is they blind people to the beauty, so all we can see is the horror. They make us feel like we're trapped in a universe of cruelty and exploitation, as if that's all humans are capable of.”
Kela abruptly wiggled out of her arms to sprawl across Aiden's chest instead, and he affectionately kissed the top of her head before turning back to Lana. “It's good to visit places like this every now and again . . . reminds us of what people are capable of when they're protected from the ugly side of humanity. Reminds us that if you leave good folks alone to work hard and build a better life for themselves, they will.”
Lana settled down on the grass beside him, on her side with her head propped up on her arm. “Why don't you stay here? Become one of these people building a better life?”
Aiden shot her a shocked look, more than she thought the question deserved. Had he been thinking of doing just that? Then he snorted, some of his usual bitterness reappearing. “I'd wear out my welcome pretty quickly when the first group of Deeks who're hunting me showed up, probably sooner rather than later.”
Suddenly looking weary, he sat up again and gently nudged Kela off his lap, shooing her off to go play with the other kids. “These people risk enough just accepting aid from me, offering me a place to repair and resupply for a day or two. I won't put them at any greater risk.”
It was a noble sentiment, but it made Lana feel sad. So was there no hope for the captain but to continue his endless war, until finally his skill and luck ran out?
“Stay,” Aiden abruptly said, making her jump. She stared at him with wide eyes, and he waved towards the gathered colonists. “No one's hunting you, and these people would welcome you with open arms. Honestly, this is the first place we've visited since picking you up where I'd feel comfortable leaving you behind.”
That wasn't saying much, considering it was only the second place they'd visited altogether. Unless she counted that little station where the pirate ship had attacked them, which they hadn't even stopped at.
For some reason, Lana felt a surge of hurt at his suggestion. “You want me to stay?” she asked.
The captain sprawled back on the grass again to look up at the sky, voice indifferent. “Doesn't matter what I want. You're your own person, and you could have a good life here. There's no need for you to stay aboard the Last Stand and eventually get blown to the void with the rest of us. Jorroc's agreed to take you in, and you already seem to get on well with his family.”
The hurt feeling cut deeper. “You already talked to him, before you even talked to me?” she asked.
“Wouldn't really be fair to talk to you first, before we even knew if you had a place to stay.” Aiden abruptly stood, turning away so she couldn't see his face, and his voice became gruff. “Think it over tonight . . . you can tell me what you decide in the morning.”
Lana watched him walk away, torn. Her immediate reaction to his suggestion, aside from the hurt, of course, was a strong desire to refuse, to stay on the Last Stand. Which didn't make any sense; it was the only place she really knew, of course, and she viewed it as her home. And she'd miss Aiden and Dax and Ali and Belix, and possibly even Barix. And she had to admit if the Deeks really were as bad as everyone said, it was nice to think that she was helping to stop them.
But on the other hand, she didn't want to die. She didn't want to be trapped on a ship, going from one dangerous situation to another, with no opportunities to see anything beautiful or worthwhile. She wanted to giggle and gossip with girls her own age, and blush as boys flirted with her, and make friends with a lot of people and eat meals with them and work beside them laughing and joking.
She wanted, one day, to have children of her own, to cuddle them and watch them play. And she couldn't in good conscience have children on a pirate ship that was constantly going into battle.
Which was why she was so confused. Whether or not she'd miss the Last Stand's crew, she wholeheartedly wanted to stay here on Callous. And yet some deep and insistent part of her refused to even consider it, and she couldn't figure out why that would be.
Troubled, she stood and headed the opposite direction from where the captain had gone, towards Dax and the playing children. The young man saw her approaching and waved for her to join them, then seemed to notice her troubled expression; ignoring the clamoring children around him, he made his way over to her instead, leading her aside until the crowd of kids finally gave up following and wandered back to their games.
“What is it?” he asked quietly.
Lana hesitated, having surprising trouble saying the words. “The Captain wants me to
