Jorroc looked at him with watery eyes, from age or tears it was hard to tell. “A man . . . a killer, a family man. Which one is he?”
“He's you,” Aiden said dryly. He knew his friend's story.
“He's both,” the old man shot back sharply.
How profound. “It's about a decade too late for me to get hitched and have kids as a Stag soldier.”
Jorroc waved that away, looking impatient. “The point is that you can be both if you have to, and once you're allowed a choice you can decide which to keep on being in the future. You may not choose to go down the same path I took, but the option's always open to you.”
Aiden stared at him for a while, then turned away. “Thanks for looking after the girl.”
* * * * *
That day was mostly spent in hard work altering the Last Stand's profile, loading fresh supplies into the galley, and topping off the fuel tanks in the engine room. Thanks to that Lana had been forced to change out of her pretty dress and back into her uniform.
Which was a shame, since all the time while not working that day was spent in long, enjoyable socializing over meals, and she would've liked to look her best for that. Which was odd, since she hadn't really thought or cared about her appearance until Velsie and the other girls from Callous told her she should.
It made her feel self-conscious to know she'd spent so much effort to look good, with help of course, and that it seemed to have worked and put her more in the spotlight. It was a nice feeling, but also embarrassing, to notice Aiden and even Dax sneaking glances at her, clearly caught off guard by her makeover.
Of course, then Barix had to be his usual self, banishing the enjoyment of being the center of attention into the realm of self-conscious embarrassment with a few subtle but cutting remarks. She probably wouldn't even have known what he was talking about if first of all, everyone else hadn't looked so embarrassed for her sake, and secondly, she didn't know the Ishivi well enough by now to guess what he meant.
It was almost a relief to change back into her uniform after that, so she didn't catch quite so many stares. Although she resolved to ask Dax if it would be possible to make herself look like that in full immersion the next time they went.
Void, while she was at it she could ask Ali to help her look like that in day to day life on the ship; even without all the attention, looking nice felt nice.
Even though it seemed like a lot of work to get done, with the help of the colonists the Last Stand was ready to leave long before the end of the day. In spite of that, the captain didn't seem in a hurry to go, announcing that they'd spend another night there and head out in the morning.
So they all gathered for another delicious cookout on the green, after which the adults all spread out on the grass, bellies full of good food and muscles sore from hard work, while kids ran and shrieked and played nearby. The young colonists even managed to wheedle Dax, who didn't seem to need to either rest or digest food, into joining them.
Lana found herself sitting on a low grassy hill, the setting sun warming the back of her head and a soft breeze rustling stray wisps of hair that had escaped her braid, as she watched the young man patiently humor the children.
It was oddly charming to see the juxtaposition between the solemn, stoic weapons officer and the animated, emotionally carefree children. Even though she'd now had more of a chance to get used to these tiny people who were still growing and learning, she still thought they were fascinating and couldn't help but find them absolutely adorable.
She was alerted to the approach of someone behind her, not by any noise they made, but when the nearest children shouted a greeting and rushed over. Turning, she saw Aiden climbing the hill to join her, although he laughed and tossed a few kids up into the air as he was mobbed. They were all clamoring for presents and seemed disappointed when he didn't have any, and after he joined Lana and they realized the adults were probably just going to talk about boring stuff, they drifted back to their games.
All aside from Velsie's youngest sister Kela, who'd introduced herself to Lana by proudly announcing she was four that morning. The little girl seemed to want a break from running around, because she surprised Lana by climbing into her lap and cuddling in her arms.
Although it was an unexpectedly contented feeling to hold the toddler, she wasn't quite sure exactly what to do. So she just held still and hugged the Kela close as Aiden settled down beside her to watch the other kids playing with Dax.
Lana wasn't sure what to say to the man, some of her self-consciousness returning. He'd been reserved ever since breakfast, almost as if he was looking for excuses to avoid her, and she didn't know what she'd done to make him act like that. Was it because he'd disapproved of her being out of uniform?
Even now he didn't seem in a hurry to say anything. So she didn't either, watching with him as the children who'd mobbed him ran off across the field, laughing and then shrieking as it became a race, the older ones loping ahead and the younger ones churning their shorter legs to try to keep up.
They were so carefree here. Too innocent, too good for the universe she'd seen beyond this colony world's pale bluish-white skies. She hoped they never had to see it.
Grimacing at the dour turn her thoughts had taken, she shifted Kela in her arms enough to get a sidelong look of the
