Into the softest bed Lana could've imagined, like sleeping on a cloud. Compared to it, her cot in her cabin on the ship may as well have been a rock. She slipped beneath the heavy covers, spending a minute or so getting used to how the nightgown bunched and pulled with her movements in a way her uniform didn't.
Then she finally found a comfortable position and was out like a light, sleeping soundly until the morning sun peeked in through the window.
* * * * *
Aiden didn't sleep well that night.
Granted, that wasn't exactly an uncommon problem for him; the life he'd chosen for himself wasn't exactly conducive to peaceful repose. Between nightmares of the loved ones he'd lost and the people he'd failed, restless worry for the wellbeing of his current crew given the fate he was leading them into, even the ones he didn't particularly like, and his bitter memories of the past and hopeless looking ahead to no future . . .
Well, that sort of thing tended to eat at the mind, especially in the long dark hours when there was no distraction available. Medication helped, sometimes, but he usually had to take enough to either nuke his functionality or leave him as emotionless as the gunner. Ali had helped more, and he could admit that in the comfort of her arms he'd slept better than he had in decades.
But not that night. He was back to fears for his crew, but in this case one crew member in particular.
This was the first time in over seven years he'd been able to bring someone to Callous he wasn't ashamed to be associated with. The twins, for obvious reasons. And Ali, because Belix was correct in that the people on this planet were a bit prudish, and Ali was the sex robot of the man they admired. Maybe it was a bit arrogant to assume, but he couldn't help but feel that more than one hopeful mother or smitten young lady hoping he'd settle down didn't like him parading around an adult companion.
The gunner wasn't quite as embarrassing, at least as far as the colonists were concerned; once they got used to him having all the personality and social skills of a railgun slug, and aside from that being pretty much the ideal guest, they basically just acted as if he was a close relative with a social disability that needed to be accommodated. And as for the kids, they didn't seem to care what the young man was like as long as he was willing to be a human amusement park ride for them, spinning them around and tossing them into the air and stuff like that.
No, the gunner was a more private source of shame. Nobody but Jorroc knew the truth of where he'd come from or what he was, as far as Aiden knew, but it was still hard to relax in a social setting anywhere near the young man.
But Lana . . . she was something entirely different. Yesterday Aiden had watched her come alive around the colonists. Chattering with girls her own age who'd taken her in as one of their own, blushing at the admiration of lovesick young men, becoming more happy and energetic with every moment spent amidst the bustle and noise of the crowd, where, in contrast, that sort of thing began to sap Aiden's energy before long.
He'd watched the community fold her in without reservation, and for the first time saw the potential for her to be more than just a Blank Slate, a victim with her past torn away from her and no choice but struggle to survive in a cruel universe. Saw the chance for her to live a normal life, a real life, a happy life. And it hadn't taken long to come to the obvious conclusion.
She didn't belong on the Last Stand.
It wasn't just the danger, wasn't just the spartan living conditions. To live the same life Aiden had lived would slowly strip her of her warmth, innocence, and enthusiasm. She'd become hardened, jaded, until she was as miserable as the rest of the people on that cursed ship.
The realization tore at him, because a selfish part of his heart had fantasized about some kind of future with the young woman. A life together with a real human on the ship, something more than the stoic silence or spiteful sniping or programmed affection he got from the others.
But how could he ask her to stay with him, when all he had to offer her was danger, hardship, misery, and ultimately an early death? How could he trap her into that sort of life and not feel like a monster?
Literally, how would he be able to sleep at night?
Although Aiden usually slept in for hours while a guest at Jorroc's house, not to mention making full use of the comparatively luxurious bed to enjoy some leisure time with Ali, that morning he gave up on rest as soon as he smelled the tantalizing aroma of frying bacon and eggs and other good foods cooking in the kitchen downstairs. He slipped out of his adult companion's comforting embrace, which hadn't been enough to aid his sleep this time, and made his way to the door.
He paused and glanced back to find Ali still feigning sleep, beautiful features serene. She could be surprisingly intuitive about what he wanted or needed from her, including the need to be left alone sometimes; once he was gone she'd probably slip out to the ship and begin preparations for the day's work.
The sight of his adult companion so apparently peaceful and achingly lovely prompted a fierce surge of love and protectiveness in him,
