“Money? Ha, you’ll stay here then, if you have no other plans, with me of course! I can’t have you coming all this way with a letter for me and send you off to a hotel, can I now? Besides, you’re interesting to me.”
Evelyn stirred uncomfortably, not sure she liked feeling like an interesting specimen, at the same time as Lilian’s words brought a flood of relief to her nerves. “I’m really not that interesting,” she protested, “but that’s ever so kind of you. Are you sure?”
“Of course, I don’t say what I don’t mean. And James won’t mind. He’s my brother, you know, my baby brother. He and I share this house.”
“Oh, but I don’t want to intrude.”
“You won’t be, darling. Besides, I think you probably half expected me to offer, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t like to presume…”
“Oh, don’t take me so seriously, Evie. I can call you Evie, can’t I? Topping! So you’ll stay?”
“Yes, thank you.” Evelyn barely had time to consider her good fortune before Lilian continued.
“In that case, I’ll show you to your room. You can have a wash if you like. And tonight, you can hear me sing at the Yellow Orchid.”
“You sing?” Evelyn found this fascinating.
“Yes, jazz. At the Orchid. It’s a fabulous place. You’ll learn a whole lot more about London than I can tell you, from one visit there.” Lilian’s smile again hinted at dark and glamorous mysteries. Evelyn was not sure whether she should feel excited or frightened. A sense of anticipation reduced her feeling of fatigue. So far, she had been right to trust Edward.
Chapter Five
Their tea finished, Lilian showed Evelyn to a room on the first floor of the house. The window looked out onto the street and was framed with maroon curtains. There was a thick carpet on the floor, soft underfoot. A matching wardrobe, dressing table with mirror, and bedside table gave the room a harmonious appearance, for all that it felt rather more sparse than the downstairs sitting room. The bed was far larger than Evelyn’s own. Currently the bedding was folded on the bare mattress.
“I’ll make sure Grace makes up the bed for you before she leaves for the day. I won’t have my domestic help living in, you see—she deserves to have a home of her own, don’t you think?”
“Oh yes, of course.” Evelyn agreed without giving her response much thought. She placed her suitcase next to the one other piece of furniture in the room, a narrow, straight-backed armchair, upholstered in the same colour as the curtains.
“Will this be all right for you, darling?” Lilian looked around at the room without much concern.
“Yes, it’s lovely,” Evelyn replied.
“Don’t worry about flattery, my love. It’s not that lovely. We’re well-off enough but there just seem to be more important things to spend money on, you know, than prettying up the guest rooms and suchlike. Mater persists in being shocked by it, mind you. You should see what it’s like in The Cedars. That’s where Mater and Pater live, by the way, with our sister Katy. James wanted to be in the city for his work—he’s an architect—and I wanted to be here for, well, for everything you can have here that you can’t have out in the Hertfordshire countryside.”
Evelyn blinked, trying to take in everything Lilian had told her about herself in that one short monologue. Everything triggered additional questions in Evelyn’s mind but, for now, she hesitated to ask them. She could not presume friendship with Lilian yet, especially when she had yet to meet James Grainger, who might not be quite so accommodating.
“Well, if you’re coming out with us this evening, and I really think you should, you’ve got until about seven o’clock to be ready. So you might want to have a rest, but make a start soon.”
“Oh yes.” Evelyn looked at her watch. It was now just after four o’clock. She could not imagine how it would take her three hours to be ready for anything.
“I have to go myself, but I’m just on the floor above. If you need me, come to the bottom of the stairs and shout.”
“I will, thank you.” Evelyn smiled at Lilian, who returned the gesture and went towards the door.
“I’ll send Grace up with the things for the bed as soon as she has a moment. Do you need her to bring anything else?”
“No, I don’t think so. Thank you.”
Lilian smiled again and disappeared through the doorway, pulling the door closed behind her. Evelyn was suddenly alone, in silence.
Lilian’s presence had so filled every moment since she had answered the door to Evelyn that the absence of it affected her strongly. The air was still; even distant sounds were muffled. The light was fading outside. Standing in the centre of the room, rubbing her hands together, Evelyn felt more of a stranger here, in London and in Lilian’s house, than she had expected to. There was nothing in her experience to prepare her for this. How was she supposed to respond to Lilian’s warm, robust hospitality? Could she allow herself to be drawn into Lilian’s exuberance when, at home, she’d caused heartache, pain, and shame? The excitement of being in London waged a war with her anxiety and guilt and, neither winning, she found herself numbed, unsure what to feel.
Dazed, she perched on the side of the unmade bed. The mattress springs creaked softly. She was facing the window and her eyes were drawn to the buildings across the street. More windows, more rooftops. Who sat behind those panes of glass? Were they happier than she was? More sure of themselves? Or feeling just as lost? She thought of Edward, and tears sprang to her eyes. What was he doing now? However much of him they had lost, her separation from him now hurt more than she had guessed it would. She wished there was a way he could see her and know she was all right, that she was here, in
