How could she go back into that chamber of torture? What if they said there’d been a mistake, that she’d have to serve the rest of her sentence after all?
She gulped in several deep breaths, willing her nerves to settle, yet her legs continued to balk at her efforts to move forward.
“They can’t force me to stay,” she said aloud. “I can walk out the door any time I choose.”
Hiking her purse higher onto her shoulder, she entered the gate and started up the walkway toward the entrance, attempting to ignore the ghoulish memories that haunted her. The same hollowness she’d felt the day she arrived sat in the pit of her stomach. She recalled the stern matron standing on the steps to supervise the intake process, her disapproval evident in her perpetual scowl. Now, Olivia entered the vast entry hall on shaking legs, once again feeling as insignificant as an ant. Yet as frightened as she’d been then, nothing could have prepared her for the horrors that had awaited her.
Olivia’s heart beat too rapidly in her chest. With a quick prayer for courage, she headed to the front office, where she paused to check her reflection in the window. She’d taken great pains with her appearance today, dressing in the new suit Ruth had insisted on buying her for her job search. She’d wanted to look professional for the interview as well as for any of the Mercer staff she might encounter. Prove to them that she was not the incorrigible young woman they’d proclaimed her to be.
Plus, she wanted to give Joannie and Mabel hope.
Hope that one day they too would be able to return to a normal life.
Olivia followed a matron, one who thankfully didn’t seem to recognize her, to the visitors’ area. Since she’d never had any visitors, she’d never been in this room before. Not even Mamma had come to see her in the eighteen months she’d been imprisoned. Now she looked around, noticing the several metal tables and uncomfortable-looking chairs. A guard hovered by the door to the hallway. Today must be a slow day, as only one other woman occupied the area. Olivia chose a seat on the opposite side of the room, clasping her clammy hands on the table and willing her heart to quit racing in her chest.
A few minutes later, Joannie appeared. Her face lit up when she saw Olivia, and she rushed over to the table. Since hugging or touching of any type was forbidden, Olivia settled for giving the girl a big smile. One that faltered when she took in Joannie’s appearance.
Her limp brown hair was pulled back from her face in a long tail. The basketball-sized bump that had once protruded in front of her was gone, and the prison uniform now swallowed her thin frame, making her appear even younger than her seventeen years.
The chair legs scraped the floor as she sat down. “You came. I didn’t think you would.”
“I promised, didn’t I?” Olivia fought to keep her expression pleasant. “How are you? I see you’ve had your baby.”
Joannie nodded. “A little girl.”
Olivia wet her dry lips. “Is she here with you?” Some of the women who gave birth while incarcerated were allowed to bring their babies back from the hospital and keep them in the makeshift nursery on the third floor. But others, like Olivia, weren’t so lucky. She had no idea what criteria was required to be allowed to keep one’s baby and had never dared to ask. She did know that anyone as young as Joannie usually had her child taken to the Infants’ Home, since the authorities deemed them incapable of providing for a baby.
Sorrow flitted across the girl’s face. “A lady from Children’s Aid came and took her away.”
Visions of the tall, slender woman who’d come to see Olivia in the hospital came to mind. “Mrs. Linder?”
“Yes.”
“She took my baby too.” Spasms shot through Olivia’s chest. Having to return to this horrid place without her baby had been one of the worst days of her life.
Joannie’s lips trembled. “She said my little girl would have a better life with people who could give her a real family.” A tear slid down her face.
Olivia closed her eyes briefly. “I’m so sorry, Joannie.” Most of the women here had no way of knowing where their babies ended up or how they fared. It was all so unfair. “I’m sure your baby will be just fine.”
Joannie nodded, wiping the back of her hand across her eyes. “I hope so.”
After a few somber seconds, Olivia attempted to lift the mood. “Where’s Mabel? I thought she’d be here too, or would they not allow you both to visit at the same time?” Maybe Mabel was working her shift in the factory and was unable to get away. It seemed strange for Olivia to think of the world inside the prison continuing without her. The drudgery of work every day, the silent meals in the dining room where talking was forbidden, the precious minutes allowed outdoors.
More tears flooded Joannie’s eyes. “Mabel’s gone.” The strangled words were barely audible.
“Gone? Did they grant her an early release too?” A cold feeling opened up in Olivia’s stomach. “I thought she had another six months to go.”
Joannie shook her head. “S-she’s dead.”
Olivia gasped, jerking back on the hard plastic seat. She held a trembling hand to her lips as images of the plump blond girl with laughing eyes sprang to mind. Of all the people Olivia had met here, Mabel was the last one she’d ever worried about succumbing to illness. “How? What happened?”
“They won’t say. Rumors are going
