“Good morning.” Olivia managed a weak smile as she entered.
Ruth raised her head from the newspaper. “You’re up extra early. In all the excitement last night, I forgot to ask how your evening was.”
Olivia walked over to the table and poured herself a cup of coffee. “It was . . . festive. Sofia enjoyed her birthday very much.”
Ruth narrowed her eyes. “How was it meeting the Reed clan?”
“Interesting. They’re certainly a lively bunch.”
“Is that all?” Ruth’s brows rose as she lowered her cup. “I would think meeting the man’s family for the first time would be a rather momentous occasion.”
A cloud moved over the sun, momentarily blocking its bright rays.
Olivia wished she could share some amusing stories with Ruth; however, there was no point in trying to pretend everything was all right. “The party was lovely, but on the way home, I . . . ended our relationship.”
Ruth’s mouth fell open. “Why would you do that when you’re obviously crazy about him?”
Olivia resisted the urge to flee from Ruth’s sharp gaze. But she would have to give her some type of explanation. She’d only persist until she did. “I’d already decided that I couldn’t continue seeing Darius, but I didn’t want to disappoint Sofia, so I waited until the party was over.”
Ruth shook her head. “I don’t understand. I thought things were going so well. What changed?”
Olivia glanced to the open doorway to make sure no one else was around. “I ran into an old neighbor a few days ago, and she refused to speak to me. I realized then that no matter how hard I try, my past will always haunt me. And I can’t let my mistakes harm Darius and Sofia.”
“Oh, my dear.” Ruth leaned forward. “I’m sorry that happened, but you mustn’t let one unfortunate incident ruin your future.”
“It’s not only that.” Olivia sighed. “Mrs. Reed told me that Darius wants a big family like the rest of his siblings have. And I can’t give him that.” Avoiding Ruth’s probing gaze, she chose a scone from a basket on the table.
“Why not? I assumed you’d want more children of your own one day.”
A band of pain seared across Olivia’s chest. “I don’t think I can have any more children, Ruth. I hadn’t really considered that when he asked me on a date. But it became clear last night that it wouldn’t be fair to lead him on.”
Olivia waited for the expected words of sympathy, but Ruth remained thoughtful as she stirred her coffee.
At last she looked up. “Why do you think you can’t have more children? Did a doctor tell you this?”
“Not in so many words.” Olivia spread a napkin on her lap. “But I know in my heart it’s true.”
Ruth leaned forward, compassion evident in her soft gaze. “My dear, until you get a proper exam, it’s nothing more than speculation. I understand that you’re scared, but for the sake of your future, shouldn’t you try to find out the truth?”
Olivia shifted her gaze to the lace tablecloth. Her friend couldn’t begin to understand what she’d been through because she’d never told her. She raised her eyes. “I can’t, Ruth. Horrific things were done to me in the reformatory by the doctor there. Things I have a hard time even speaking about.” Her hands began to shake. “That’s why I was so afraid of Dr. Henshaw at first. And why I can’t tell my story at the city council meeting.” She closed her eyes and focused on regulating her breathing.
Ruth squeezed her arm. “I’m sorry you had such a bad experience.”
Olivia didn’t dare look up, knowing the sympathy shining in her friend’s eyes would be her undoing.
“If having your own children is out of the question, there are other ways to have a family,” Ruth said gently. “Did you discuss that with Darius?”
“We skirted the issue, but I told him I wouldn’t let him sacrifice his future for me. He deserves someone less broken, someone who won’t bring shame to his family.” She jutted out her chin, pushing the hard ball of emotion down deep. There was no point in discussing the matter any further. “Now, can we please change the subject before the girls come down?”
Ruth’s mouth opened, then she clamped it shut. After several seconds of silence, she inclined her head. “Very well. We’ll table this conversation for now, but I intend to continue it again another time.” Though her tone was no-nonsense, she gave Olivia’s arm another gentle squeeze.
Olivia pressed her lips together. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing more to say. Ruth would eventually have to accept that Olivia had made her decision and that nothing would make her change her mind.
The morning after Sofia’s party, Darius left home just after sunup. Too restless to sleep and too edgy to linger over his morning coffee, he’d rinsed out his cup and glanced at the clock on the wall.
Sofia would sleep in this morning after staying up so late last night. He would likely be back before she even stirred. Setting his jaw, Darius set out for the one place he hoped to find solace.
Thankfully, St. George’s church doors were already open for the day. Removing his hat, Darius entered and took a seat halfway up the long aisle. A hushed stillness enveloped the sanctuary, where everything lay ready for the services later that morning. Darius worked hard to quiet his mind and simply breathe in the soothing scent of candles and lemon furniture polish before lowering himself to the kneeler.
Lord, my spirit is heavy today. Heavy with the burden of Olivia’s suffering. I’m here to pray for her and ask that you ease her pain. Help her to realize that she is worthy not only of your love but also the love of others in her life. Remind her that she doesn’t have to shut
