I always made up stories for Jackie to get her to sleep. Mostly because I could never remember all of what happened in a story or I confused one story with another.
“What kind of story?”
“A princess story.”
“Alright, once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who longed to leave her palace walls. But her father, the King, was fearful that she would be in danger if ever she left. Tired of always being stuck on the grounds of the castle she decided she would run away. She snuck out during the night and got on her horse. She rode for a long time and ended up far away. It was the dead of winter and the princess hadn’t thought about how cold it would be. It was dark and…”
I heard the heavy breathing, the sound of a child deep and fast asleep.
I smiled, “she realized that the most important place to be was home. She made it back safely and though she would leave from time to time, she would never forget how wonderful it was to be safe at home.”
I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. My dream took me to the house I grew up in in Michigan but it was nicer with a white picket fence. My parents sat at a picnic table laughing at something my sister Cate had just said. I brought out a pitcher of lemonade while my husband Daniel was grilling up some food. Our two girls Jackie and Lasa ran around the backyard playing and laughing.
I woke up crying silently and extremely confused. The happy dreams weren’t any better than the nightmares.
Chapter 20
The weeks passed slowly but surely. I did my best to help out around the house. I played with Lasa and we colored. I cooked with Vanetta and collected the eggs from the chickens in the garage. I was passing the time but I felt more like a zombie than the reanimated corpses that were roaming the island. My mission had failed and without the goal of trying to get to my sister, as doomed as it was, without it I was empty. I had nothing left.
Though I loved this beautiful family that had taken me in, I didn’t feel like I belonged. I felt like a burden on them though they never acted like I was. I felt odd and out of place most of the time. I tried to help and keep out of the way.
A bright spot was Lasa. I felt a real kinship with her. She reminded me of Jackie so much in the way she laughed and carried herself. Even some of the things she said sounded like they could’ve easily been quotes she stole from Jackie. It hurt like hell to be around this precious little girl that reminded me so much of the precious one I lost but at the same time it was like a blessing to feel close to Jackie in a way.
Lasa slept with me every night after that first night. The dreams I’d been having become less frequent and I was having almost good nights of sleep. Lasa was becoming more of a comforting presence to me than I believe I was to her. Perhaps part of it was being safe away from those awful creatures. The threat didn’t seem to exist in the shelter of this home.
Vanetta was appreciative of the fact I let Lasa stay in the room with me. Cal had been working 12 hour posts since this whole thing started. It made sense, we were at war.
Cal was upbeat and sweet but Lasa kept him awake when she came in the room with them. I could understand why, she liked to snuggle up close and didn’t leave a lot of room to adjust. But that was another thing that reminded me so much of Jackie. Where it kept Cal awake, it helped me rest.
It was nice to be part of something that felt so normal after all the chaos. Though, it was hard for me to appreciate it all. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I became ill the third week I had been there. It was nothing too major but I was nauseous all the time and couldn’t keep much down. Which was sort of a blessing, since food supplies were due to run out any day.
Vanetta made me a tea remedy that helped with the nausea that her mother had passed down to her. It helped but I still didn’t feel like eating much.
I liked Vanetta a lot. I felt we would’ve been friends in real life before the dead began to walk the earth. She was funny and tough. I loved talking with her. She told me about growing up in Mississippi. Her and Cal met in the sweetest way. They met while working at Disney World together doing some kind of work program they had for college kids. I’d never even heard of it but it sounded like something Jackie would’ve loved to do had she been able to grow up.
Little things reminded me of Jackie everyday. Though I missed her terribly all the time, I was getting better at living with the constant ache in my heart.
After a wonderful month of a normal life, things turned. Lasa and I were sitting at the table coloring books when the sirens went off, warning that something had gone wrong.
Vanetta came into the room. Her face was the picture of panic. She was almost hyperventilating.
“Upstairs Lasa,” she said.
“But mom.”
“Now!” Vanetta commanded.
Lasa was pouting but did as her mother said. When she was no longer in the room, I spoke.
“What is it?”
“They said they would only put on the sirens if security was breached by those things. Cal’s at the post.”
“He’ll be alright.” I said though I had a
