The lie she believed hurt him to his soul. His parents loved him and his brother so hard and deep they never doubted. In the tribe, everyone stayed together. Their community is so different than the one back in town. Sure they saw heartache sometimes and all, but they pulled together. No gossip about one another. If a parent died, then the others stepped up to take care of the children. Always loved and wanted. His Ma and Pa said that’s how God is, but he still didn’t believe it. Someone so caring wouldn’t allow bad things to happen.
“Not all. Parents love.”
She ladled the soup into some bowls and handed him one. Sitting, she shook her head again. He took a bite, moaning. She really knew how to cook. At least they wouldn’t starve. If it was up to him to cook, well, by the end of this trip, they’d lose weight for sure.
“I’m thankful God loves me and has always been with me.”
Another like my brother. Crazy. An invisible God who does nothing.
Glancing over the bowl he tried to figure out how she could believe this when she’d been abandoned as a baby. It made no sense. She didn’t offer anything else about her life. The openness was gone. She ate, looking around at each sound around them. If he was a betting man, he’d bet she’d never slept outside or spent time in the woods. Her letters had come from Chicago, so maybe she’d been catered to, except her hands told another story.
He placed his bowl on the ground, stood, stretching. “I reckon we should get some sleep. Early morning.”
Her attention flew to his. Brows furrowed upward. “Where’s my sleeping sack?”
Sweet dove thought he’d brought two. No. They were married and he wouldn’t be made a fool in front of the men. “With me.”
***
She was shook to her core. He couldn’t mean that. Together in the same bed. No!
He stood next to the tent holding the opening for her to enter. No joke. She made her way to him, ducking before going inside. Her hands shook like a leaf in the trees during a storm. Being near a man wasn’t a situation she’d been in before. She and Ruth had run before the man they had owed money could do anything to them. She hurried and got into the sack, scooting over as far left as it would let her, pulling the rest up to her chin.
Obadiah slouched as if he’d done this before. Had he? The thought made her uneasy. Were Indians raised differently? Were they allowed to sleep around or did they follow the same moral code as everyone else? She’d never met one before and didn’t understand how they lived. But it was not like she understood moral anyway, having not lived in a Christian home.
She watched him with fear building deep inside of her. She prayed he wouldn’t want to consummate the marriage. It was too soon. She couldn’t. They didn’t know one another. Her fingers clenched the rough material again, holding it in place.
The smirk on his lips made her want to smack it from his face. She kept her eyes lowered. His attention never left hers and she forced herself to breathe. He slipped a button lose from his shirt. One. Two. Three. Esther sucked in a breath. He was going to take his shirt off. She felt her cheeks turn red. Pressing her hand to her mouth. No. She didn’t want to see his chest.
In the darkness, the moonlight cascaded through the opening at the top of their tent. The glow fell on him. She saw what she’d been praying not to see. Patches of hair glistened in the night. Even his chest looked to be muscular. Her throat suddenly became dry. With each unfastened button, her heart beat faster. Taking the tie from his hair, he let it fall over his shoulders.
Inky black and silky, she ached to run her hands through it, wondering if his hair felt as soft as it looked. Biting her bottom lip, she let her gaze slide up to his face. Darn being cursed with the lightest skin ever, she thought. Heat infused her body, she felt the burn all the way to the top of her head. He dropped to his knees, leaning in. Inches away from her face.
“Sweet Dove, have you never seen a man without a shirt?”
The blunt question caught her off guard. She blinked, trying to think of what to say. He’d seen her watching and didn’t seem bothered by it. Who was this man? “N-No.”
Blast it all. He enjoys getting me all out of sorts.
“You can…look. We’re married.” He inched closer cupping her cheek in his hand, rubbing his thumb on her chin. “The innocent way you watch me. I like.”
The frank way he spoke to her, shook her. She wanted so hard to lean into him, to give in to his touch. No. Snapping out of her daze. Only because she wanted to be loved was much, she so ready to give him whatever he wanted. No. Not until she was in love. It was the one gift she planned on keeping until she found love…except she was married. There was no finding love anywhere else.
Pain washed over her. She jerked away from him, away from the warmth and fire that he filled her with. “You're crazy. I was shocked at your lack of morals. I think it best if you put your shirt back on.” Esther, slipped deeper into the bedroll, rolling over on her side so she could not see him.
She wondered if her heart might beat out of her chest. A few deep breaths and it started to slow, just a bit. She felt
