Alone. That’s the way I’d be doing things now if I had done something stupid earlier—like telling Aaron to stay with Tattoo Guy.
Aaron showing up was a miracle.
That’s what Momma woulda said. “Lookit here, Lacey. Macaroni and cheese, six for a dollar. And right when we need it, too. It’s a miracle.”
In the distance, lightning played out in the darkened sky. A huge storm was coming.
Wasn’t someone showing up just as good as six-for-a-dollar macaroni?
Yes. Yes, it was.
Maybe there’d be a miracle for me with Momma. I crossed my fingers.
Aaron hurried back. “I checked in,” he said. “Let’s get going.”
“Maybe my momma is home,” I said. “Or walking in the house right this very minute. We can catch the bus and look for her on the way.”
“Good idea,” he said.
Now hot air pushed across the parking lot picking up garbage and swirling it in small whirlwinds. We stood at the bus stop waiting. I glanced around, hoping, somehow, that Momma would show up. Pop out from behind some van and say, “Surprise, Lacey! I saw you looking for me. You sure did seem scared. Here I am!”
If that happened, I swear I wouldn’t even be mad. I’d grab her in a hug around the neck and say, “Momma. You scared me something awful. I thought sure you’d left me.” And then I’d say, “Lookit here, Momma. I made a friend.” And I would introduce her to Aaron.
But Momma wasn’t the playing-around kind. Not by a long shot. She’d never do anything like that.
Wandering off? That had been her.
Surprising me with something good? Not her.
Hurting herself? Her.
Thinking about what might make things easier for me. Not her.
But that wandering stuff only happened a few times. And she never went far from home. She did stuff as weird, though. Like stocking up on tuna because we were gonna be in a terrible war any day now. Or washing all the clothes in the kitchen sink because Granddaddy had told her back in the olden days that’s the way real women did the laundry. Or cutting her long, beautiful nails down so short they bled.
“I bet you your mom’s waiting for you at the house,” Aaron said. The hot breeze moved his hair like a ghost, lifting it, pushing it back with an invisible hand. “You want to call her again? See if she’s made it yet?”
I looked away.
“She won’t answer,” I said after a moment. “Even if she is at home, she won’t answer.” I’d known that in the store.
“Why not?”
A truck passed in front of us, kicking up a pile of dust and clanging as it drove over a bump.
“She…” Still I didn’t look at him. Should I say, “She’s afraid. Afraid someone listens in on the line. Afraid someone is checking to see if she’s alone. Afraid Granddaddy will call”? “… she just won’t answer.”
“Well, I bet she’s waiting for you,” Aaron said. “She’s probably all worried about you.”
“I sure hope so,” I said. Oh and I did. I hoped that with all my heart. All my body parts. Everything that was me.
Please God. Please dear God. Those are the words that ran through my head the whole time we waited for that bus. Every once in a while a wave of I’m-gonna-puke-my-guts-out filled me. Momma. Oh Momma. Please dear God. Please.
Right when the bus pulled into view, Aaron dropped his skateboard and grabbed ahold of my hands. His fingers tangled together with mine. He pulled me toward him a little, till we were face to face, looking right at each other.
“Lacey,” he said. “It’s all gonna be all right.”
I stared into his eyes. Candy eyes. And I made myself believe his words. This boy that went to my school. This boy who lived not too far from me. This miracle boy, the way he showed up on the day I would need him. How could that be? Nothing ever worked out for me like that.
So I made myself believe Aaron. Ignored the feeling in my stomach and heart and believed. Because that’s what you do with a miracle. You believe in it.
Together we climbed on the Peace City bus and rode back toward my house. My almost-normal feeling was gone. I was miles from ordinary now. Miles. Every once in a while Aaron patted at my hand. And each time, when tears threatened, I believed instead, even this far from what was usual.
I watched for Momma the whole way.
Anytime I saw someone wearing red, I made ready to leap to my feet and pull the wire that would get me off the bus and to my mother.
While I watched, Aaron and I talked about school. About how glad he was for the summer. About how his younger sisters, who were twins, had been a surprise to the family.
“My dad sure was happy,” Aaron said. He let out a sigh that showed me he was happy, too.
In case he was gonna ask about my own father, I glanced out the window. My momma and daddy split long before I was born. According to Momma, Granddaddy hadn’t wanted my daddy around.
“And your granddaddy made quick business of that,” Momma told me once when Aunt Linda was still home.
Aunt Linda had nodded.
“He was jealous of the boys, wasn’t he?”
“Yes, Angela, he was,” Aunt Linda had said. She let out a laugh. “Remember how we met up with Daniel and that one guy—what was his name?”
Momma gave me a knowing look. “Daniel is your daddy, Lacey,” she had said, matter-of-fact.
“Matthew Riley,” Aunt Linda said. “We met up with Daniel and Matthew in St. Pete. Remember that?”
Momma nodded all solemnlike. “We told Granddaddy we were off to a rival football game. And he let us go. Worked our butts off, he did, but he let us go.”
Aunt Linda said nothing for a minute. “Then
