“Yes. I used one of Mariah’s razors on my legs.” Simone raised the sleeve on her other arm and showed Olivia an area with several tiny punctures that had healed. “I also use tacks to poke myself sometimes.”
Olivia tried to refrain from responding in alarm. “Okay. I appreciate the fact you shared this information with me. You’re brave for being honest. Momo, I must ask you, how did you learn to cut yourself? Did someone from school teach you?”
Simone grabbed her phone from the nightstand. She used
her thumb to scroll through a few pages of apps until she clicked on one. When it opened, she handed the phone to Olivia. “This app. They have different challenges for us to do. There are videos on how to cut yourself.”
Astonished, Olivia’s eyes glued to the screen as she examined the app. “The people who create these types of things are pure evil. Are your friends using it, too?”
Simone shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno. I heard some girls talking about it at lunchtime.”
“I can’t believe they are challenging people to jump from rooftops and hurt themselves. What kind of deranged people create this stuff?” Olivia exclaimed as she scrutinized the application. “Someone will lose their life from attempting these things.”
“I haven’t done anything else on there. Only the cutting. I don’t really want to die.”
Olivia kissed the top of her head between the afro-puffs. “I know. We don’t want you to die either. Your body is precious and worth protecting. You may feel anxiety and stress about everything going on right now, which is normal. I believe you are strong enough to keep from harming yourself. You are beautiful and valuable and your life has meaning and significance. I love you and I mean it.” Olivia realized she needed to absorb the same words to apply to herself.
“I love you too, Mama.” Simone’s shoulders relaxed. She seemed relieved to have her secret in the open.
“We’re going to get additional help for you. In the meantime, let’s work together and think of some healthier ways for you to cope. I will always be here for you. Promise me, you won’t cut anymore. Okay, baby?” She studied Simone’s face for signs indicating she’d gotten through to her.
“Okay. I promise,” Simone hugged Olivia tight. They held each other for a moment before letting go. “I’m hungry.”
Olivia laughed. “Come on. Go wash your face. Let’s see if your brother devoured all of the pizza and wings.”
Simone ran from the room with a lighter step than Olivia had seen in months. Her daughter would need a lot of counseling; a breakthrough in the storm had finally come.
SIXTEEN
Savvy
Pharrell and Savvy. Savannah and Pharrell. Mr. and Mrs. Pharrell Montague. Pharrell Montague and Savannah Menefee. Savvy wrote their names in cursive and again in print on a piece of paper at her kitchen table until she filled out an entire page as if she were a teenager. She shook her head and crumbled the paper to toss into a trashcan.
Savvy balanced her cell phone between her ear and shoulder.
“Uh-huh. Thanks again for sending the congratulations card for my promotion. Have a good time out with Daddy on the golf course. By the way, I ordered a new golf driver for his birthday. He’s going to love it. Don’t tell him. It’s a surprise. Alright, I love you too, Mama. Tell Daddy hi for me.” Savvy ended the call with her mother.
Her heart swelled from missing her parents. Getting off the phone with them became tougher each time they talked due to her desire to be together. Once she finished transitioning into her new job, she planned to head to their mid-western home for a much-needed vacation.
Savvy’s phone beeped with a text message. Her heart jumped when Pharrell’s name showed.
Hope u have an appetite. I’m going full-throttle on preparing this meal for u. See you at 7. – Pharrell.
She had quite an appetite for him. She laughed and texted: I’m looking forward to it. See u soon.
Savvy began humming a non-distinctive happy melody. She opened a picture on her phone of the two of them and studied it. They figured out how to snap a perfect selfie at the Spurs game in which they appeared to be a couple in love.
Her phone rang in her hand, breaking her goo-goo gaga moment.
“Hey, Olivia.”
“Hey, Girl. Whatchu up to? I’m thinking about catching a movie or something.”
“Aww, man. I would love to. I can’t though. Tonight’s the night Pharrell is cooking dinner for me at his house.”
“Is it tonight? I forgot. My brain is too full.”
“Yup. I can’t wait to taste what he prepared.” Savvy laughed with giddiness. “What are you going to do since I can’t join you for a movie?”
“Not much. I need to purge my brain from everything going on right now. You won’t believe what Simone has been doing to herself.”
Alarmed, Savvy snapped out of her Pharrell dream zone. “What? What happened?”
“She’s cutting.” Olivia sounded distressed.
“Cutting herself? With what?” Savvy slapped her hand to her head.
“With a knife and a razor. She has also used tacks to poke through her skin.”
“Oh, dear Lord. How did you find out?”
“I caught her when I stopped by their apartment after the game last night.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I can’t believe you had to deal with this by yourself.”
“I know. We had a long night. By the time Malcolm got home, we had a conversation with him and Mariah to explain what’s been going on. He about blew a gasket. His fiancée pulled out rosary beads and started reciting Hail Mary’s. I thought she’d end up having to go back to the urgent care clinic with her dramatic acting. I had to calm both of them down.”
“I can only imagine,” Savvy said. “Why did you have to include Mariah in the conversation?”
“Simone used one of her razors. Also, the entire household needs to be aware to keep an eye on her,” Olivia explained. “People don’t realize how self-harm affects everyone around them.”
“Good point,”
