A lot of work also went into sourcing venue and entertainment options, and comparing photographers and the various packages they all offered. I was writing colour-coded running orders (like the ones we use on TV productions) for the weekend and the big day, to ensure everyone knew where they had to be and what had to happen at any given moment. Once I looked at all the work I had put in, I realised that I might as well start a wedding blog of my own. I had been studying the wedding industry so obsessively for my own purposes, that I had built up a treasure trove of useful information that I could share with the few followers I had found on Twitter, my Facebook audience and even the few souls who listened to me on 5FM. The American wedding bloggers I was following made it seem like such a cool field to specialise in and my TV work meant that I already had a bit of a following among people in their early to mid-20s – people who were also getting engaged and planning weddings. I decided that I’d review this urge to create a blog as soon as we got back from our honeymoon, to see if it was something I’d still enjoy once my own wedding was no longer on the agenda.
As it turned out, I never created that wedding blog, because once my own wedding was over, I never had the urge to open those wedding folders again. Instead of creating beautiful and practical tips and resources for brides – a noble enough pursuit – I realised that I always tend to gravitate towards a challenge and the chance to do something other than what is expected of me.
I needed the thrill of conquering a forbidden domain. It has always been this way for me. In primary school I spent my break times playing rugby and cricket with the boys. Later, I shaved my hair in the same year that I became a beauty pageant finalist. When I started working in radio, I was told again and again that an Afrikaans girl like me, with my accent, would never work on air at 5FM – but I proved them wrong.
I realised that I was relieved to be done with the business of being a bride and happy to move on to telling other kinds of stories. In fact, it was only a few months later that I leapt into the sports broadcasting industry and, by the end of that same year, I found myself in New Zealand covering the 2011 Rugby World Cup. I was breaking the rules and challenging convention again.
Grab the chalk and draw your outline
Something that might serve you in this process of defining who you essentially are is the awareness that no one expects you to come up with it all on your own. If you are stuck and none of the above has led you to an aha! moment of self-discovery yet, relax. A lot of people who have been on this influencer roundabout for years are still figuring it out. They’re often the ones who are battling to grow or battling to create real engagement. An alternative and very useful approach is to start with defining what you are definitely not.
In crime movies they usually draw a chalk outline of a body to mark the exact position in which it was found, before the corpse is moved and the forensic processing of the crime scene can start. Now imagine your influencer identity – your brand – as a chalk outline. You might not know exactly what happens inside the lines just yet, but you can start by filling in the areas around it.
I had a really interesting chat with the YouTube vlogger and influencer Katinka Oosthuizen, also known as Katinka die Kat, about this very topic. She started building her audience when she was still a teenager, attending high school in the beachside town of Mossel Bay. Besides building an enviable audience on YouTube and Instagram before she left school, at the age of 19 she also became the youngest ever contestant on Survivor South Africa. These days she also works as a presenter, video producer, editor and entrepreneur.
You just need to be yourself [Katinka says]. The niche will emerge without you even often noticing it. I never sat down and decided this for myself; I just knew what I was not. In the beginning I tried my hand at a variety of things, but I quickly realised what I didn’t want to do more of and that it isn’t necessary. Loads of things just didn’t work on my channel, because it wasn’t me. And then you often just don’t have the inspiration required to really pull it off.
Revlon once sent me [a pack of] 20 lipsticks and I just sat staring at it. I didn’t know what to do with it because it didn’t inspire me. And that’s fine; they obviously found people that did feel inspired by it. Brands might think you’re the same as a bunch of other people, but you need to know that you’re not. Everyone is different, you are different. I think you can 100% choose who you want to be on social media, but ask yourself this: How long can you remain in a fake friendship? How long can you pretend to like something? I could probably choose to become a beauty influencer, but it will take so much energy to get into that mindset that I just won’t ever get anything meaningful done. Never. That’s why it just won’t happen.
In my case, I knew very early
