And I guess that’s all part of the healing process. You have to talk about the shit that’s eating away at you, unload some of the baggage you’ve been carting around for too long and lighten your load.
The night before Lila’s thirtieth birthday, I went to see Brody. He was sitting on his back porch, a beer in his hand, feet propped on the banister. When I made my presence known and joined him on the porch, he didn’t look surprised to see me.
Without waiting for an invitation, I took a seat on the wicker chair next to him. I recognized these chairs. They used to be on our back porch.
“Was hoping you’d be long gone by now,” he said, taking a pull of his beer. Still an asshole.
“Wishes don’t always come true.” We sat in silence for a few minutes.
“Something on your mind?” he asked finally.
I hadn’t planned what I would say. All I knew was that I had to do this for Lila. And for myself. For all of us, I guess. Here went nothing. I’d eat humble pie even if I choked on it.
“I never thanked you for being there for Lila when I wasn’t.” I stared out at the dark sky, the shadow of the barn in the distance, the air scented with hay and horses and the promise of summertime. Without interrupting, he waited for me to continue. “The night you took her to the hospital and sat in the waiting room for hours. And all the nights you dragged me home from bars when I was too drunk to get home on my own.” I rubbed my hand over my chest, trying to loosen the tightness and cleared my throat. “You saved my life and I never thanked you for that either.”
I didn’t know if he would make this easy on me or give me a hard time about it. Either way, I would take whatever he dished out.
“That’s why you’re here? You came to thank me?”
I nodded.
“Haven’t heard the words yet.”
I laughed under my breath. Stubborn bastard. “Thank you.” Fuck, that was hard.
“You didn’t thank me when it happened because you didn’t want to be saved. You were pissed at me for finding you in that field. You wanted me to let you die.”
I couldn’t deny it. At the time, that was true. Lila had called him, distraught when I hadn’t come home, and he’d gone out looking for me. I had no idea how he’d found me, but he had. I’d been told that he found me just in time.
“Lila said you told her about Odessa.”
He turned his head sharply, surprise painting his features. “I sure as hell did not tell her about Odessa.”
“Yeah, you did. She said it was the night... you were both drunk,” I finished.
“Fuck.” He ran his hand over his face. “I told her?”
“How drunk were you?”
He blew out a breath and shook his head. “Honestly? I don’t remember anything from that night. We drank an entire bottle of whiskey and God knows what else. Woke up the next morning and we both freaked the fuck out.”
For some reason that made me feel better. “So you’re not in love with Lila?”
“In love with her? I’ve never been in love with her. If I’d been in love with her, would I have tried to get you two idiots back together in high school?”
“Who was the idiot? You nearly broke her nose.”
He laughed. “Oh man. That was funny as shit.”
I scowled at him.
“Nah. I was never in love with her. For a hot minute I thought maybe... but no. Wasn’t like that. I love her as a friend. But I’ll tell you one thing for sure.” He pointed his finger at me. “If you fuck her over again, you’ll never get within a hundred yards of her or Noah again. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Well, then, I guess you’d better get used to seeing me around. I’m not going anywhere.” Having said everything I needed to, I stood to go.
As I was walking away, he called after me. “This doesn’t make us friends again.”
“We weren’t friends. We were brothers. We are brothers.”
“Yeah, I guess we were.”
“Still are,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Uncle Jude. You stupid shit.”
Typical Brody. He just had to get that in there, didn’t he? He’d be in for a rude awakening when I became Noah’s stepdad. Now all I had to do was convince Lila.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Lila
Two Months Later
“We’re going on a bear hunt!” Noah spun around and around until he got so dizzy he fell into a heap on the front lawn.
“You’re so silly,” I teased, tickling his ribs until he was giggling so hard he couldn’t breathe. We weren’t really going on a bear hunt. We were going on a Fourth of July picnic. Jude’s idea. He was full of ideas these days.
We loaded the food and picnic blanket in the back of the truck and away we went.
“Where are we going for this picnic?”
“No idea. Thought we’d drive around until we found a good spot.”
I snorted. Like I’d fall for that one. Jude left very little to chance. But after fifteen minutes of driving aimlessly, like we had all the time in the world, I started to wonder if maybe he’d been telling the truth. When he turned the truck around and headed in the opposite direction, I started to get concerned. Ten minutes later, we were still driving.
Maybe he wasn’t okay. Maybe he was having a flashback. I didn’t know what to think. I glanced at him. He looked okay. Chilled. Relaxed. His hand
