“Are you trying to look up my towel?’ I asked, now conscious of the fact that I was standing across from her in nothing but a towel.
“Ugh. No. I’m trying not to throw up.”
“Are you two bumping uglies in there?” Brody yelled from the other side of the door. Might as well alert the entire fucking neighborhood.
I threw the first thing I could grab which happened to be a hairbrush. It hit the door above Rebel’s head and bounced off. She ducked out of the way and covered her head with her hands before it could hit her on the way down. Good reflexes.
Then, for no reason I could fathom, Lila started laughing. She was laughing so hard tears sprang to her eyes. “Ow,” she said, covering her nose with her hands and then laughing some more.
“Are you high?”
She shook her head. “No.” She snorted. “I don’t even know why I’m laughing. But it’s better than crying.”
I wondered if she cried a lot. The only time I had ever seen her cry, really cry, was the night she moved in when I was skulking in the hallway outside her bedroom door. It had taken every ounce of self-restraint I possessed not to go to her and try to comfort her. That was what I would have done in the past but we weren’t the same Jude and Lila anymore.
So I had to remind myself that she didn’t want me. Which was something I had to do again now before I ended up making a fool of myself by telling her something stupid like I miss you. Or worse, Why did you shut me out when all I wanted to do was be there for you?
I’d temporarily forgotten that I was mad at her. I’d forgotten that I hated her for pushing me away and treating me like shit. And for destroying a friendship that I always thought was so rock solid nothing could ruin it. But that’s life. You never know when it’s going to throw you a curveball.
I was fed up and now I wanted to get out of this damn bathroom and forget the sad girl with the bloody nose.
“Move aside, Rebel.” She scooted away from the door enough for me to open it and slip out into the hallway. “Hope you got a nice long look so you’ll know what you’re missing.”
Petty? Maybe.
But I was done playing nice. This was all on her. If she wanted me back in her life, she’d have to beg, grovel, and plead before I’d even consider it.
Chapter Thirteen
Lila
Today was Jude’s eighteenth birthday and even though he hated me, I’d spent the past few weeks working on his birthday present. Now I wasn’t sure if I should give it to him or if he’d even want it.
“He did give you his favorite hoodie,” Christy said. “That’s become the gold standard. If a guy won’t give me his favorite hoodie, he’s not worth it.”
“What makes a girl worthy?” I asked.
“Red lipstick.”
I laughed. Christy was bi-curious and had hooked up with both guys and girls.
“You should talk to him.”
“And say what?”
“That you miss him and you want to jump his bones. You’ve already seen the goods. Might as well sample them.”
I groaned. It had been two weeks since I walked in on Jude and every time I closed my eyes, that was the only thing I could envision. Naked Jude. With his sun-kissed skin and lean muscles and... oh God, I had seen ALL of him. I was no expert but it looked... substantial. Like, how was that thing going to fit inside me? Not that he wanted me. Why would he when he had girls at his beck and call? Girls who were so much easier than me in every way.
It was pure torture living under the same roof with him. I saw him everywhere. In the family room on movie nights. At dinner on the nights when Kate insisted we sit down and eat as a ‘family.’ In the bathroom. Why hadn’t he locked the door? Had he wanted me to walk in on him and see him?
There were two upstairs bathrooms but the other one had been occupied. Probably Gideon, whose showers lasted forever. I didn’t even want to know what he did in there. Thankfully he always locked the door. He was the most private one in the family. While the other McCallister boys were rugged and rowdy, he was quieter and kept to himself. At fourteen, he already had the kind of good looks that were slightly intimidating. High cheekbones, dark hair, and arctic blue eyes that gave nothing away.
This evening, we’d had a family barbecue and cake for Jude and when he’d blown out his eighteen candles, I’d wondered what his wish was.
Everyone had given him their gifts except for me so he probably thought I hadn’t bothered to get him anything. But it wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted to give him in front of his whole family.
Now, I was lying on my bed, staring at the stars on my ceiling and waiting for him to come home from a party.
“He’s probably going to come home drunk and smelling like another girl,” I told Christy.
“He’s not into any of those girls. They’re vapid.”
“And I’m a bitch. So where does that leave me?”
“No idea. Love is deaf, dumb, and blind,” she said, making me laugh.
The sound of tires crunching over gravel drew me to my open window which conveniently overlooked the front lawn and the driveway. Headlights illuminated Jude and Brody as they climbed out of Tyler’s Jeep.
They were home. Brody was definitely drunk but I wasn’t sure about Jude.
“Hey Christy,” I said. “I’ve gotta run.”
“Call me tomorrow, bitch.”
After promising I would, I cut the call and tossed my phone on the nightstand then took a few deep breaths.
