I was sobbing so hard, I couldn’t breathe. She held on tight and didn’t let go.
“I know, sweetie. Let it out. Sometimes you just need a good cry.”
Everything was broken and I didn’t know how to put all the pieces back together. When my tears subsided, I pulled away and she handed me a pack of tissues from her shorts pocket as if she’d come prepared for my tears.
I wiped my eyes and blew my nose and when she asked if I felt better, I nodded. In some ways, it was true. I felt hollowed out and empty but I felt a little bit better. My mom was gone and she wasn’t coming back and I had to accept that. Derek was gone, our house was sold, and I had a few boxes of memories stored in the McCallister’s attic. That was all I had left of my old life.
This was my new normal. I was an orphan taken in by the family of the boy I’d loved for so long. The boy I’d pushed away because I was too scared to let him get any closer. Instead of being with my mom when she died, I’d been kissing Jude on the roof. My mom died at one in the morning. Three hours after I left her. But I didn’t find out until the next morning because Derek, the jackass, was with his girlfriend Mindi that night.
I hated him for that. I hated myself for leaving her. If only I’d stayed she wouldn’t have had to die alone. If only I hadn’t been so selfish.
From my peripheral, I caught a movement in the doorway but when I looked over at it nobody was there.
That night I slept under a sky full of stars.
“What happens when the stars fall, Jude?”
“I’ll put them back in the sky for you.”
Chapter Twelve
Jude
Two months into this new living arrangement and I was already counting down the days until I could leave for boot camp. Which, let’s face it, wasn’t going to be for at least another year. I was still two weeks from turning eighteen. We still had to survive the rest of the summer and our senior year before we could get away from each other. Even then, she was part of the family now so I was stuck with her.
Turning off the shower, I scrubbed my hands over my face and stepped onto the tiles, reaching for a clean towel on the shelf.
“Oh my God. I... crap. I didn’t know... um...”
I stood still, my hand holding the towel, her curious eyes roaming down my naked body. Her cheeks were flushed and she was just standing in the open doorway, earbuds in her ears, an iPod strapped to her upper arm, her music so loud I could hear it from here.
She was wearing tiny running shorts and a sports tank, her hair in a high ponytail. Earlier, I’d seen her running and I had run right past her, leaving her in my dust, not even glancing in her direction as I passed. Lila was always running, she ran miles and miles every day, so of course my dad had talked her into joining the girls’ cross-country team in the fall.
God forbid you lived with the McCallisters and didn’t compete in a sport.
Meanwhile, she was still staring.
Let her take a good, long look. I had nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I had everything to be proud of. I worked hard for this body. For the second summer in a row, I was working construction for my dad. I ran five miles a day. I lifted weights, swam, and punched the leather bag in the barn which no longer housed horses. Brody had moved his horses to the ranch where he worked. So my dad had set up a gym in there. And tomorrow pre-season football training was starting. I was fighting fit and no longer looked like the boy she’d grown up.
Yeah, baby girl, that’s right. I’ve grown up. Just shy of six three, my shoulders were broad enough to carry the weight of the entire world and my washboard abs were so toned and rigid you could bounce a quarter off them.
My dick stood to attention and was instantly at half-mast. I might hate her but obviously my dick felt differently.
She squeezed her eyes shut. Then she spun around and ran out of the bathroom. Or she would have if she hadn’t run into the door as it slammed shut in her face.
On the other side, I heard someone laughing their ass off.
Fucking Brody.
“Ow.” She groaned and covered her face with her hands and this time I suspected it was in pain, not embarrassment. With a loud exhale to let her know that coming to her rescue yet again was a huge imposition, I wrapped the towel around my hips and in a few long strides, I was standing behind her. I turned her around to face me then took the earbuds out of her ears and looped them around her neck to assess the damage but I couldn’t see a damn thing because her hands were covering her face.
“Rebel. The fuck are you doing?”
“I think it’s broken.”
“Let me see it,” I said quietly.
Without meeting my eyes, she lowered her hands and I cursed Brody when I saw the blood. That idiot. I unspooled some toilet paper and dabbed the blood under her nose. She winced but let me clean it up. “We need to get some ice on it.”
“I’m...” Her face drained of color and she swayed on her feet. I knew she was going down if I didn’t stop her. My instincts kicked in and I held her by the upper arms to steady her. When I released my grip, she slid down against the door and put her head between her legs. “God. This is so embarrassing.”
“Which part?”
“All of it.” She lifted her head and leaned
