I swallowed hard. Lila was talking about her mom as if she was already gone, and maybe that was what she had to do. Contradicting her, telling her that there was still a chance her mom would be okay, would be a lie.
“She was the best mom.”
I nodded in agreement. She was right up there with my mom who was pretty damn great.
“Tell me something good, Jude.”
I wracked my brain trying to think of something good and opted for something funny instead. Having Jesse around ensured that there was always plenty to laugh at. “If you put grapes in the microwave, they explode. We found this out yesterday when Jesse conducted an experiment.”
Lila laughed. “He’s crazy. What did your mom do?”
“Just kind of shook her head and tried not to laugh. He said it would be easier to make jelly now and he smashed up all the exploded grapes and slathered them on his peanut butter sandwich.”
Lila was really laughing now. “Jesse is obsessed with exploding food. Remember the time he tested the Pop Rocks and Coke myth?”
I snorted. He’d been so disappointed when his stomach hadn’t exploded. It just made him burp. “Did you know that Cap’n Crunch has a real name?” I said, sharing more Jesse trivia.
“No. What is it?”
“Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch.”
“It is not. You’re making that up.”
“Nope. True story. And Minnie Mouse’s name is Minerva.” I side-eyed her. “You kind of look like a Minerva.”
“Sure I do. With a name like that, I can understand why she goes by Minnie.”
“I bet you can, Delilah.”
She scrunched up her nose. “Ew, don’t call me that.”
“Why not? I think it’s cool.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmhmm. She was a biblical temptress.”
“Samson’s downfall.”
“You’d better not cut your hair,” she said.
“You’d better not cut it while I’m asleep.”
“Tempting.”
“Wouldn’t put it past you.”
She laughed and I kissed her again. And again. And again.
I blinked up at my mom as she entered my room and sat up, rolling out my shoulder that was stiff from sleeping on the hard floor. By the look on my mom’s face, I could guess why she was here.
“Oh honey. Was she with you all night?” my mom whispered.
I sat up and roughed my hand through my hair and nodded, my gaze seeking out Lila. She was still asleep in my bed and I got the feeling it had been a long time since she’d slept so soundly. Which was why I’d suggested it last night—or rather, in the early hours of the morning. As soon as she’d toed off her sneakers and her head had hit my pillow, she’d fallen sound asleep. I’d debated whether to climb in bed and sleep with her but had opted for my sleeping bag on the floor instead. Not that I was being noble. I was seventeen and I was a guy and she gave me a raging hard-on that was impossible to hide. If I’d crawled into bed behind her, I couldn’t trust myself not to dry hump her in her sleep.
“Don’t wake her,” I said, my tone hushed.
My mom nodded, her smile sad and for a few seconds we both watched Lila sleeping before I followed my mom out of the room. I’d gotten as far as the door when Lila’s sleep-groggy voice stopped me.
“Jude?”
My mom paused in the hallway. Reluctantly, I returned to my bedroom, hating that I would be the first face she saw when her entire world was destroyed. On the other hand, I was glad I could be here for her. My mom and I didn’t have to say the words. Lila sat up in bed, her wavy hair wild, and the look on her face… the devastation on it was something I’d hope to never see again in this lifetime.
“Lila, honey.” My mom’s voice was soft. “Derek’s here, sweetie. I’m so sorry.” My mom’s voice cracked on the words and I could see that she was barely holding it together.
Lila didn’t cry. She didn’t shed one single tear. She shot out of bed and jammed her feet in her sneakers. “I should have been there. I should have been there for her.”
I reached for her, trying to pull her into a hug but she shoved me away and darted out of my room. I chased after her and collided with my dad in the hallway.
“Let her go. Derek’s here for her.”
Physically, he was here but from what I’d seen, he hadn’t been there for Lila or for Caroline. He wasn’t even Lila’s dad but now he was all she had for a parent. A shitty excuse, if you asked me.
Downstairs, I heard the door close then stillness settled on the house and it was so quiet.
Brody’s door opened, and he joined us in the hallway in his boxer briefs, scrubbing his hand over his face. His dirty-blond hair was matted down on one side where he’d slept on it. “What’s going on?” he asked and in the next breath he said, “Oh shit,” reading the situation without having to be told. “Lila’s mom.”
“Watch your language,” my mom told him, more out of habit than anything.
“What happened to Lila’s mom?” Jesse asked, his panicked voice rising a few octaves higher.
I shouldered past my dad, leaving him to deal with my brother. Lila needed me.
In my bare feet, running shorts and T-shirt that I’d slept in, I jogged to her house, the fallen leaves crunching under my feet and walked through the front door that was left wide open.
“Where is she?” Lila screamed from upstairs.
“Calm down.”
“Where is my mom?” Upstairs, a door slammed shut and I heard the
