“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Dad’s going to be okay,” I assured her, thinking that might be what was keeping her up, worrying.
“I know he will. But the house feels so empty without him.” She smiled. “That man drives me crazy but I can’t imagine my life without him.”
My parents had gone through a lot of ups and downs over the years but after more than thirty years of marriage, they were still together. For better or worse. In sickness and health.
“Did you and Brody work out your differences?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Not sure that’s possible.” I knew she wanted us to be one big happy family but that wasn’t going to happen.
“You two were always so alike.”
I stared at her. “Brody and I have never been anything alike. We’re about as different as two people can be.”
She shook her head, disputing that. “You might have wanted different things in life but you were very similar. Even more so now that you’re older. You both fight for the things you believe in. You’re both loyal and have an innate sense of justice. And you’ve both experienced some terrible things in your lives.”
Even though I thought she was wrong, I didn’t bother arguing.
“Do you want my advice?”
“Sure,” I responded even though her question had been rhetorical. My mom would give me advice whether I asked for it or not.
“You need to find a way to forgive yourself. You’ve always been too hard on yourself. Nobody is perfect, Jude. Everyone makes mistakes. Just try not to make the same ones over and over again.”
She was cutting me too much slack. Minimizing the damage I’d done by calling it a mistake. As if I’d gotten a C on my math test instead of an A and all I needed to do was learn the material better before the next exam.
“It’s never too late for a second chance.” My mom rose from the table and rinsed out her mug. “Get some sleep. Things always look better in the morning.” With those words of wisdom, she left me alone in the kitchen with my own thoughts.
My mom was wrong. I didn’t need to forgive myself. I needed Lila’s forgiveness. I had to find a way to right my wrongs.
I had to find a way to put the stars back in the sky.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Lila
“Prince Charming is back,” Christy said, not even lifting her head from the floral arrangement she was working on. We didn’t have to look out the windows to confirm. I heard the tires crunching over the gravel and I knew it was him. Right on time. The song playing from the speakers cut out and G-Eazy’s “The Beautiful & Damned” filled the studio.
“Funny,” I said as she slipped her phone back into her pocket and laughed.
“I call it like I see it. Fingers crossed he brought donuts today.”
It had been five days since I’d gone over to Brody’s to drop off Noah’s special blanket that he claimed he couldn’t sleep without. Five days since Jude and Brody fought. Five days since I lost my mind when I couldn’t find Noah. And every morning since then Jude had come bearing gifts. Coffee and donuts. The cinnamon rolls I loved from the bakery. There was always a little note in the bag. They reminded me of the corny notes he used to leave in my locker in high school.
You look beautiful today.
I love your smile.
You’re sweeter than sugar donuts.
But we weren’t in high school anymore, and we had to stop acting like we were. Today I was going to ignore him. Keep working on my floral arrangements and stay focused on the work at hand. We were swamped because, after all, it was wedding season. So I’d just pretend he wasn’t even there. No matter how adorable he acted or how sexy he looked in his fitted T-shirts and faded denim that hung low on his narrow hips, I wouldn’t even glance his way. Nope. I wouldn’t even notice the way he raked his hand through his tousled, messy hair or the way he bit his bottom lip.
I was Teflon and his charms would bounce right off me. Ping. Ping. Ping.
“Mommy!”
My head swiveled to the doorway as Noah dashed across the studio and skidded to a halt in front of me. Setting down the bridal bouquet I was working on, I wiped my hands on my shorts and pulled him toward me for a hug, my gaze narrowed on Jude as he set cardboard cups of coffee and a pie on the counter. Not just a couple slices. An entire pie. The nerve of this man.
Then he smiled and I was stunned into silence, the words of rebuke dying on my lips. It was the first genuine smile I’d seen in so long. Jude had the most beautiful smile. When he smiled, the dimples appeared in his cheeks, and transformed his entire face.
Oh Jude, you’re back, I thought. I didn’t know it was possible. I didn’t think he’d ever come back.
“Guess what?” Noah tugged my hand to get my attention.
I dragged my gaze away from Jude and focused on Noah. “What?”
“We’re going on a bear hunt.” His eyes lit up.
“A bear hunt?”
Jude chuckled and my eyes narrowed on him again.
He was using my son now? How low could he sink? Brody usually had Noah on Saturdays but since he was on the road, I’d dropped Noah off at Kate’s early this morning. She’d insisted. Had even called me a few days ago to make sure I would. When I’d protested that it was too much for her with Patrick still in the hospital and due to come home on Monday, she’d said, “Nonsense. I love having
