“Well, you weren’t being very loyal when you were grinding your erection against me.”
“Yeah? And you know what? If Holley hadn’t walked in on us, I’d have fucked you there and then on that table and not given a damn about anyone other than you.”
I froze. “You wouldn’t have.”
“I would have.” His fingers clenched into fists on the bar, his knuckles whitening. His jaw tightened and he looked away. “This conversation is going nowhere but in circles. Nothing is getting solved. Like you said, it’s probably best we write it off as a mistake and move on. Maybe you should go.”
“Uh-huh.” I stepped forward and grabbed my purse, turning toward the stairs to leave. The stupid lump that was forming in my throat was constricting my ability to breathe, and the deep sting at the back of my eyes told me I really had to go.
Now.
I needed to leave.
Something pooled in my stomach and tightened in knots. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but it didn’t take me long to recognize it.
It was the soul-sinking feeling that I would never again feel the way I had yesterday when he’d kissed me.
I would never feel that all-encompassing magic I’d felt when I’d been wrapped in his arms and his lips had been on mine.
And that?
That hurt a little part of me I didn’t know existed.
“Josh?” I paused halfway up the stairs, my fingers gripping the rail tightly as I looked to the open door at the top. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I put us in this position because I let my temper get the best of me.”
He didn’t respond.
“And for what it’s worth,” I continued in a softer voice. “I wish I had a say.”
On those words, I ran up the rest of the stairs, desperately holding back the tears that threatened to form. This was so fucking stupid because it really wasn’t worth crying over. It wasn’t like we had anything beyond a kiss or anything that was worthy of tears.
But maybe that was worth some emotion.
The fact that we’d never get the chance to was pretty darn sad.
I dismissed the tears with a steely resolve, but that didn’t get rid of the ringing in my ears. I guess that was what happened—the emotion had to go somewhere, so why not my ears?
I pulled open his front door, but just as quickly as I had, it was shoved shut from behind me. Josh yanked me around and dipped his head to kiss me, circling one arm around my waist to hold me to him.
Shock jolted through my body, and I dropped my purse so I could hold him to steady myself. The kiss was hard and needy, but he softened it as I sagged against him.
He broke it off and buried his face in my hair as I pressed my forehead against his solid chest. He smelled like coffee and lavender again, and it was the weirdest thing to think, but I realized it was lavender because that was what his detergent smelled like.
I had no idea why my brain thought now was the appropriate time for that realization, but here we were.
“Why?” he grunted into my hair. “Why do you need a say?”
“Because it’s a stupid freakin’ pact.”
“Kinsley.”
“Because if I don’t have one, I’m afraid I’ll never get to feel like this again,” I whispered truthfully into his t-shirt. “And it’s not just because you’re wearing gray sweatpants and I’ve been a little turned on ever since you opened the door.”
He stilled, then laughed. The vibrations from his traveled through his whole body and, by extension, mine. Before I could stop it, I was laughing right along with him.
“What do we do now?” I asked after a few minutes of us laughing together.
He reached up and pushed my hair away, smoothing it around my neck so one side was exposed to him. His nose tickled along my skin, and his hot breath danced over the sensitive area, making my heart pound inside my chest.
“I think,” he murmured, ghosting his lips over my neck. “We’ve come this far now, so we might as well stop talking and think about it all later.”
I drew in a deep breath and let my eyes flutter shut as he kissed my pulse point. I knew that was, technically, the wrong answer, but every single part of my body was screaming at me to listen to him.
We’d already crossed enough lines.
One more really, really wasn’t going to matter at this point.
Not now we’d both admitted to there being something between us.
“Are you sure?” I whispered.
“I’m sure I’ll hate myself if I let you walk out of my door right now.”
Then he kissed me. Deeply and hungrily, and his fingertips dug into my skin where he held me against him.
This was a terrible idea, and I knew it, but I still couldn’t stop myself.
I fell into his kiss, completely losing myself in him for the longest moment. It didn’t last long before he released me, only to grab my hand and pull me after him. Josh dragged me up the stairs to his bedroom and tugged me inside, kissing me again.
We stumbled together across the room. His bed came too soon, and I fell back before he did.
Using his hands to stop his fall, he covered my body with his and once again took my mouth under his control. He was already between my legs, and as I wrapped them around his waist, my dress rode up to my hips.
Josh sat up and pulled his t-shirt over his head, revealing his lightly tanned body and the muscles that made up his stomach.
God. Gray sweatpants and abs.
Romance novels were definitely fiction, but that combination was definitely not.
He smirked for all of a second as he watched my eyes dart over his body, but he kissed me again, and all I could focus on was the softness of his skin beneath my fingertips.
My body reacted enthusiastically; my heart hammered against my chest
