“You know, it’s not the cutest way to meet someone, but whoever it is might be your only option,” my sister said and laughed. When she caught the look on my face, she stopped laughing and rolled her eyes. My nose was stinging and tears were rapidly filling my eyes. I bit the inside of my cheek, determined for them not to fall. “I’m only joking. Don’t be such a crybaby.”
Each time I shed a tear, it annoyed my family. I wasn’t weak because I had emotions. I wasn’t a pushover because I was nice.
“Grant and Kevin were both very handsome,” my mom said. Neither asked if I was in danger or what the note had said; they’d both already written it off. It was what had happened the first time. They’d thought I was exaggerating and it wasn’t a serious situation. “Though they did both leave her.”
“I left Kevin,” I snapped. My ex-husband, an extremely short-lived marriage, had been a mistake. The biggest mistake I’d made in my life.
“That was a mistake,” my sister muttered under her breath. My head whipped around. My chest was rising and falling rapidly as I stared at her. How in the hell could she say that? I’d told them how he’d treated me. I’d had to file a damn restraining order after our marriage because of how he’d harassed me.
And here they were telling me that was the best I could get and it was a mistake to let an abusive partner go. I was so repulsive to the people at this table that they thought I only deserved to have someone as awful as Kevin.
Kevin fit right in with them.
Tears swarmed my eyes again, and this time I couldn’t stop them from falling. I’d spent years trying to beat away the thoughts in my head. That I wasn’t good enough, that I deserved nothing good, that I was weak, unwanted, unloved, and ugly. Fat. Terrible. Stupid. Crybaby. I’d heard it all, repeated over and over, in their voices and my own.
I cleared my throat, swiping away a tear. I tossed my napkin down on the table, manners be damned. “Have a good dinner,” I said.
“You’re so sensitive,” my mother said quietly, leaning slightly across the table. “Sit back down. We’re only having a little fun, and you have to ruin it with your tears.”
“I ruined nothing.” My voice trembled and my lower lip wobbled. “That was y’all.”
My mom and sister rolled their eyes, and my dad continued to watch the television, completely tuning out the conversation. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t even notice that I’d left.
I grabbed my purse and stalked toward the bathroom. My entire body was shaking, and I could taste the metallic taste of my blood. I’d bitten the inside of my cheek too hard. I held my chin high, refusing to be the beaten-down girl hiding in the shadows anymore. A hand grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop. I gasped and turned, fear soaking into me.
I released a breath when my gaze met jade-green eyes. “Kiernan,” I said quietly.
“What’s wrong?” He cupped the side of my face and brushed away a tear trailing down my cheek with his rough thumb.
I shook my head and laughed humorlessly. “Nothing. It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
“I don’t believe that. Did you receive another note? What happened? Talk to me, Caroline.”
I blew out a breath and waved a hand in front of my face. “No. No. Nothing like that. It’s family stuff. Weekly family dinner ending in tears. It’s nothing new. I promise I’m fine. I’m using the restroom then leaving.”
“You can’t drive like this,” he said, brushing away another tear. His voice was low and rough. He was still holding my arm, keeping me close to his body. “Please let me take you home. One of my guys is here with me. I drove him, he can follow us in your car.”
“What are you doing here?”
“A client was treating us to dinner. Let me take you home, Caroline.”
I finally nodded. Kiernan leaned into me, wrapping his arms around my waist, tugging me into his large, warm body, and kissed my forehead. “I’ll wait for you up front.”
I quickly used the restroom, washed my hands, and tried to clean up the bit of mascara that had gathered under my eyes, but with no makeup remover, it was a lost cause. I laughed without humor and shook my head, staring at myself in the mirror. My hair was straight except for one wavy strand I’d missed while straightening my hair this morning. Mascara was under my eyes along with dark circles from lack of sleep and long hours. My face was splotchy from crying. I ran my hands over my hips. Every bit of me was soft. My top fit me well, but when I turned to the side, my stomach wasn’t flat.
I didn’t turn heads when I walked down the street like my sister did. I wasn’t an expert at makeup like my mother. My flaws were so apparent, and I was reminded of them over and over again. I felt bruised and small. And I was about to get into a car with the most confident man I knew. Kiernan turned heads when he walked into a room. He had the kind of looks art was designed to capture and songs were written for.
I walked out of the restroom and to the front of the restaurant, meeting Kiernan in the lobby. His eyes tracked my every step toward him. His mouth pulled up on one side as his gaze roamed over my form, and I thought about the other day when I’d rubbed oil on him and he’d brushed a drop from my skin. I wasn’t sure what he saw when he looked at me, but the heat in his eyes didn’t scream that he was disgusted by my flaws. Under his
