But first, I had to fight for it.
“Mom, I love you. I will always love you because you are my mother. My father is an asshole who doesn’t deserve you. My life has been better since I left. And I wish you would too. If you ever leave Dad, call me. Until that happens, though, I’m done. I am giving you money one last time. It’ll be more than you need right now. If you’re smart with it and don’t let that bastard blow it on beer and strippers and whatever else he does—it’ll last you and help you get on your feet. This is the last time. My door is open if you leave him. Until then, I can’t have you in my life.”
She was quiet for a minute. I could hear her breathing softly and my dad yelling at the TV in the background. “How much?”
I rolled my eyes. So fucking predictable.
“Fifty grand.”
“Make it seventy-five and I’ll never bother you again.”
“Done,” I said and ended the call. Ended the relationship with my mother. If you could even call it a relationship. She used me for money and nothing else. I had the money. Roman and I had become very successful since moving to Austin. Paying seventy-five grand and getting rid of that noose around my neck was worth it.
I pulled into Caroline’s driveway just as she was entering her house with Pepper Jack at her heels. I hoped he would stick with her and make her smile. Caroline closed the drapes, cutting off my view through her window. I couldn’t see her clearly, even before the drapes were closed, but I could see her silhouette. When she shut the drapes, I felt her pain as if it were my own. It was even worse knowing I’d caused it. That was something I’d never wanted to do. I wanted to be the man that made her see her beauty every day.
I rolled down my windows and turned off my truck, settling in. I didn’t know when she’d be ready to talk, but I’d spend days out here if I had to. Just as long as I knew she was safe.
One guarantee I had though: when it was time to talk, I’d be getting my sweetness back. And this time, for good.
32 Caroline
Pepper Jack and Harmonica watched me pace the living room. The drapes were closed, but even through them I could feel his stare, like he knew exactly where I was. He’d been sitting in his truck for the past three hours, since we arrived back at my house.
“Caroline,” Daphne said calmly. “Let that man explain. He looks at you like you’re the reason for the sun rising every day. He’s spent so much time letting you know how much you mean to him. At least hear him out. Don’t shut this door yet.”
“He introduced me as his dog trainer,” I reminded her. I rubbed my chest, my heart still aching. The voices in my head had descended, telling me I wasn’t good enough, but now that I’d had a little space, I’d shut them out again.
“I know, sweetie, but there might be a reason, and if there isn’t tell Pepper Jack to bite a chunk of his ass off.”
I laughed and shook my head.
“After everything, doesn’t he at least deserve a chance to explain?”
I knew she was right. And I was always going to talk to him, but I needed a little space after the park. I needed to be able to think and not be distracted by his eyes. “Yes,” I said.
“So what are you going to say?” she asked.
I huffed and renewed my pacing. “I’m not exactly sure, but I think it’s time.”
“Let me know how it goes,” she said.
“I will. Thanks, Daphne.”
We hung up the phone and I went into the kitchen. A pot of spaghetti sauce was simmering on the stove. I poured some noodles in water to boil before walking outside and to Kiernan’s truck. His eyes tracked my every step. He opened his door as I got closer and slid out, walking toward me. “Please let me explain, Caroline.”
I nodded. “Spaghetti will be ready in a few minutes. Come in and let’s talk.”
Kiernan nodded. I spun on my heel and went back into the house. He was following closely behind me. Close enough that I felt the heat from his body, not so close that we were touching. “I’m sorry it took me a few hours to be ready,” I said.
“I would’ve waited all night. Days if I had to.”
I sat down on one of the chairs in my kitchen, glancing at the clock, reminding myself I needed to check the noodles in a few minutes. Kiernan sat across from me. His hair was sticking out, a little wild, as if he’d been constantly running his hands through it. He sat in the chair next to me, reaching out and tracing a finger down my arm.
“Kiernan, I don’t understand what happened. Since I walked into MarxMen looking for help, you’ve been telling me to trust you. You’ve been telling me how wonderful I am and how much I deserve. And…and I believed you. For the first time in my life, I believed someone when they told me I had value. You’ve told me you wanted me to meet your friends, and then there they are and suddenly I’m your dog trainer? Okay, maybe you didn’t want to use the world girlfriend, which I don’t understand because you said you’re my man. But not even your friend?”
“Fuck,” Kiernan groaned, fisting his hand on top of his thigh. He grasped my arm with his other hand and leaned closer. He was only a few inches from me, staring into my eyes. “We have a rule about dating clients. Since taking your case, Roman has been able to tell I’m interested in you. He’s reminded me at every turn of this rule. Reminded me
