He holds up his hands. “What do you know? I have an aunt and uncle.”
His happiness carries me across the office with its hardwood floors and wall-to-wall bookshelves. I lean over him, bracing my hands on the armrests of his chair.
“I’m not the least bit surprised. How could they not love you?”
He makes a wry face. “Do you want the abridged list? I didn’t exactly make life easy when I lived in their guesthouse.”
“No, you made it better.”
I lean in and kiss him. But now that my immediate concerns are erased, my bigger, more stomach-twisting nervousness comes back. I pull away before he can feel it.
“Going to shower, then we can head over to Dad’s.”
“Hey,” he says. Are you okay? You’re acting weird. Like you’re waiting for earth-shattering news. Or your browser history just went public.”
I shoot him a dry look. “It’s not my browser history I’d be worried about.”
He narrows his eyes, but I hurry out before his shrewd gaze sees right through me.
I shower, rinsing off the grease and oil from the shop, and change into jeans, and a deep blue button-down shirt that’s too nice for a casual dinner with my dad and sister. It’ll fire Holden’s curiosity even more, but I’ll take my chances. He once told me this was his favorite shirt on me so I’m wearing it.
Finally, I pull on a lightweight jacket that I don’t need on a hot summer night. That’ll make Holden downright suspicious, but I need the pocket.
At my dresser, I throw a look over my shoulder to make sure he isn’t about to magically appear behind me—he has a habit of doing that. In the top drawer, under a pile of underwear, I find the little black box and slip it into the jacket pocket.
I heave a breath and go back to the office where Holden is still busy typing. He stops, mutters a curse, and taps heavily on the delete button.
I smile, watching him with so much damn pride. He came out of the dark lake Alaska tried to drown him in, and I know he’ll keep fighting to never go back. And I’ll be there every step of the way.
I touch the box in my pocket.
If he lets me.
I drive us to Dad’s house. Amelia’s Honda is parked in the drive. In the fall, she’ll start college at San Jose State, a forty-minute drive from Santa Cruz. She’s already got a roommate lined up, a sweet girl she met at orientation. There haven’t been any more Kyles in her life, and I trust her when she says there won’t be again.
She’s at the dining room table when we come in, laying out place settings.
“Hey, guys!” she says too loudly. She knows tonight’s the night, and I glare at her. She glares back but tones it down. “We’re having your favorite, Holden. Grilled halibut. Dad’s out back, hopefully not overdoing it.”
She comes to give us each a kiss on the cheek.
“Halibut?” Holden frowns. “What’s the occasion?”
“No reason,” Amelia says quickly. “But your aunt and uncle are coming, right? That’s the perfect occasion. We’re lucky we weren’t having ribs from that grease pit River loves so much.”
She gives me a playful nudge and I ease a sigh of relief that she’s deflected Holden’s suspicions. For now.
My sister is nineteen and pretty in my eyes. Not only for her physical beauty—she looks more like Mom every day—but because she’s healthy. Her smile comes easily like it used to. The grief is still there—it’s in all of us—but it shows now as a depth in her eyes instead of a shadow.
From the kitchen, I see Dad on the back patio wearing an apron that says, Boss of the Sauce.
Like Amelia, he looks healthy. More whole. The three of us have been attending grief counseling at the Medical Center and the change in him has been tangible. He’s abandoned the den and now works at the shop nearly every day. He says he’ll never date again, and I don’t push him, even though I worry about him being alone after Amelia starts school. But she’s promised our Dad to spend most weekends and summers at home.
And he’s welcome at our home any time.
“There they are,” Dad says, shutting the screen behind him and coming to give Holden a hug. He winks at me over his shoulder—which means Amelia spilled the beans to him. “I hear your aunt and uncle are joining us.”
“Hope that’s okay, Jerry. Not a lot of advance warning. For me either, come to think of it.”
“Of course, it’s okay,” Dad says. “More family the merrier.”
On cue, we hear the front door open and Beatriz calls from the entry.
“Hello? I am coming in.”
I grin, and Holden goes to greet the woman who’s been—until today—the only family Holden’s ever had. When he came back to Santa Cruz, she was the first visit he made after me. I wasn’t there to see their reunion, but Holden came back with his eyes puffy and red but happy. Another broken piece falling back into place.
Holden returns from the front with Beatriz, her hand tucked in the crook of his arm.
Like she might when she walks him down the aisle?
I rein in the thoughts that are too dangerously hopeful. Holden has spent most of his life in a prison of some kind or another—a loveless house, Alaska, the sanitarium… Maybe it’s asking too much, too soon.
Amelia reads my expression and pulls me aside while Dad greets Beatriz with a kiss on the cheek. “Second thoughts?”
“None. Except, what if—?”
“No chance.”
“It’s only been a year…”
“A year and a hundred lifetimes,” Amelia says. “I see it. Everyone
