“Sir?”
“This is a bad idea.”
“Why?”
“Because… What if he’s not home and someone else answers?”
James frowned in the rearview. He started to speak but I cut him off.
“No, you’re right. Fuck that. It’s not a crime against humanity to drop off a book to a friend. Thank you for the pep talk, James.”
“Anytime, sir.”
I walked up the Whitmore’s front walk and knocked on the door. A young girl around fourteen or fifteen, with the same blue eyes and dark hair as River, answered. She gave me a curious glance, taking in my heavy coat despite the warm-ish afternoon.
“Can I help you?”
“Is River here?”
“He’s at our shop. Whitmore Auto Body? He works there most afternoons now. Who are you?”
“I’m a friend of his from school.”
“What’s your name?” she said, practically demanded, curiosity flowing off of her in waves.
“Holden. A friend from school. And you are…?”
“His sister, Amelia.”
“A pleasure.” I held up my bookstore purchase. “I’m returning his book.”
“It looks brand new.”
“I meant, replacing it. River lent me his copy and I spilled…gravy on it.” I inwardly cringed. Gravy? Lord, man. “Anyway, could I just leave this with you?”
“You could,” Amelia said thoughtfully. “Or you could just drop it by the shop.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Wouldn’t want to interrupt.”
Amelia leaned in the doorway and crossed her arms. “I think it’s a very good idea. In fact, I think River could really use a visit from you, Holden. It’s not far, just off Charleston Street, south end of downtown.”
“Right, but—”
“It was nice meeting you,” Amelia said with a strange smile, and then she shut the door, leaving me stranded on the doorstep.
“So that happened.”
I turned and headed back to the car, debating the wisdom of visiting River at his family’s shop. In public. In broad daylight.
Then I envisioned him stripped down to jeans and a sleeveless undershirt, his oiled muscles smudged with grease while he bent over something dirty and mechanical.
“On the other hand…”
I gave James our new destination and had him park around back. I slipped through an alley to the side of the garage, making sure no customers could see me. A window along the shop’s rear wall showed me a small, cramped office.
My fantasy was partially fulfilled: River wasn’t bent over a car but some paperwork, wearing a dark blue, short-sleeved uniform shirt with his name lettered in red on a white patch. Sweat and grease left a sheen on his arms, and he’d smudged himself on the edge of one sharp cheekbone.
My heart jackhammering in my chest, I tapped on the glass.
As he had at school, River’s face lit up to see me and then morphed into wide-eyed fear. He shut his books and disappeared from the room. A few moments later, he came around the side, wiping his hands on a rag.
“What are you doing here?” he hissed.
“If that’s your standard greeting, your customer service needs work.”
“I’m not fucking around, Holden. Why are you here?”
“Your sister said I could find you here so—”
His eyes bulged. “You talked to my sister?”
“Sure did,” I bit out, his reaction hurting and hardening my heart. “I knocked on your door and said, ‘Hello, Amelia, my name is Holden. I gave your brother a blowjob awhile back and I’m quite certain he thoroughly enjoyed it.’”
River’s shoulders slumped, and he carved his hand through his hair. “You know what I mean…”
“Yeah, I do. But newsflash: I’m a human being who is allowed to exist in the world and talk to people. Here. I got this for you.”
“Flowers for Algernon?”
“It’s about an idiot who smartens up for a bit, but it doesn’t last. He goes back to his old narrow, stupid world.”
River’s eyes darkened. “So…what? You bought this to teach me a lesson? To rub it in my face?”
“I don’t know why I bought it. I wanted to get you something and so I did.”
“Why? You’re the one who called shit off, remember?”
“Because I fucking can’t stop thinking about you, okay? Every day, all day, every goddamn night. And I wanted to do something. Instead of just sitting around being miserable. But it was obviously a mistake. Our favorite word.” I turned to go. “Toss the book in the trash for all I care.”
“Holden…”
I whirled back around. “And yes, it’s reckless and stupid to try again, but what if we need each other? Maybe how different we are works. Maybe we fill in the missing parts for each other. Ever think of that?”
“Yeah, I’ve thought of it. Lots of times. But—”
“River?” A man’s voice called. “You back here?”
“Shit.”
River grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and dragged me around the corner. Our eyes locked for half a heartbeat, and then he slammed me up against the wall, his body pressed against me, our faces inches apart.
“How do you keep doing this to me?” he whispered, his eyes dilated and dark. “So I can’t hardly think. Every fucking time…”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I managed weakly, my limbs going slack at being in his space, breathing his air and feeling his hard body after going so long without.
“River?” His dad wasn’t getting closer but not giving up either.
“He’s calling you,” I whispered, then widened my stance to bring River’s groin tighter to mine. Christ, he was hard and huge, and I groaned for missing every part of him.
“Shh.” He covered my mouth with a grease-smudged hand. “Don’t say a word.”
“River,” his dad called. “You down there?”
“Just taking a piss,” River croaked.
I maneuvered my mouth out from under his grasp
