Karen never said things were urgent unless they really were. “That would be great, thanks.”
“I’ll send her down.”
Libby hung up. “Mom’s here to see me. She told Trina it’s urgent. God, I hope Dad’s okay.”
“He’d be here if he wasn’t,” Nick said.
“Maybe.” But Libby’s mind was already darting to car accidents, which bypassed the clinic entirely, going directly to Bairnsdale.
Nick glanced at his watch. “Indi and Leo can stay at daycare until 6:00 if necessary, but school finishes in ten minutes. Can you call—”
“Hello, darling. Nick. I’m glad you’re both here.” Karen dropped distracted kisses on their cheeks before sitting down.
“Sorry, Karen. I’m about to take off and pick up Lucy,” Nick said.
“No need. I’ve asked Alice to do that for you,” Karen said with unusual firmness.
Libby instantly felt vindicated that she hadn’t been thoughtless of Alice’s feelings when she’d suggested her sister look after Leo. But her mother’s actions confused her. “Is Dad okay?”
“Your father’s fine. It’s Jess. I’ve just driven back from visiting her.”
“What?” Betrayal scorched Libby so fast her skin hurt. “How could you?”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Libby,” Karen said irritably. “You of all people should know that no one deserves to be alone in the hospital.”
“But she—”
“Do you know what’s wrong with her?” Nick asked.
“Yes.”
For the first time since Karen walked in, Libby scrutinized her mother. The remnants of the previous week’s emotional whiplash were sketched in the lines on her face, but Alice had called late the night before reassuring Libby she’d spoken to their parents. “We had a long talk and things are good, Libs. When I think about the crapshoot of life, do you know how lucky we are to have them as our parents?”
Libby had opened her mouth to say she’d known that since she’d met Linda Dekic, but that memory brought back the permanent problem of Linda’s daughter and her child. Fury had cut off her words along with not wanting to give Alice an opportunity to comment on the fact Nick was sleeping on Freedom. She’d murmured her agreement instead.
For the first time in a very long time, Libby knew her mother’s stressed demeanor wasn’t about Alice and a creeping sense of dread crawled through her. “What’s her diagnosis?”
Karen’s eyes filled with shadows and she took hold of Libby’s hands. “It’s not good. She’s riddled with cancer.”
“Shit.” Nick’s face drained of color.
Libby pulled her hands away from Karen’s, struggling to feel anything. She fell back on doctor mode. “Where’s the primary?”
“They’re pretty certain it’s ovarian cancer. The blood test comes back tomorrow, but does it even matter?” Karen’s voice trembled. “I thought she’d let herself go. Thought she was drinking too much because of everything, but her weight gain is fluid—”
“Ascites,” Libby said automatically. “It happens when the cancer’s in the liver.”
“It’s not just in her liver. It’s in her bowel, her lungs, her bones. It’s everywhere!”
“But they can treat it, right?” Nick asked.
Libby didn’t need her medical knowledge to answer the question—one look at Karen’s face told her everything. “They’ll keep her comfortable.”
“So, you’re saying she’s—” Nick’s voice was strangled. “How long has she got?”
Karen blew her nose. “They’ve told her weeks.”
Nick swore.
Libby stared out the window, watching the whitecaps far out to sea. The emotions of the others eddied around her, but none touched the dead weight inside her that held all her feelings for Jess: anger, pain and hurt. Regret? No. The only regret was that Jess had jettisoned their friendship and her trust on a selfish whim.
“She wants to come home,” Karen said.
“Is she well enough?” Nick asked.
“Palliative care will organize things,” Libby said flatly.
“Only if Jess has support in the bay,” Karen said. “Libby, you need to talk to her.”
“No.”
“Jess is dying.”
And death trumps everything. The thought tasted bitter in her mouth and she chose her words carefully.
“And I’m truly sorry she’s dying, but it doesn’t change the fact she lied to me, betrayed me, used Nick and not once has she ever apologized or even hinted at any remorse. Life isn’t a movie script, Mom. This isn’t the tear-jerking moment where I conveniently forget everything that’s happened and forgive her.”
“What if she wants to apologize and ask your forgiveness?”
Libby turned around slowly and faced her mother. “Did she tell you that?”
“No.” Karen sighed. “But I think you should forgive her.”
“When hell freezes over.”
Karen glared. “Libby, my father was a cruel and bitter man. I hated him. His need to control everything and everyone around him damaged the people he professed to love. He’s the reason I brought you up to put others first and to care. I thought if you didn’t know about him or ever meet him, he could never leech into you. But this anger you’re holding onto has changed you. You’ve become as hard and intractable as him. It’s terrifying.”
Libby hated the unwelcome words. “For thirty-four years you kept your father a secret from us and now, when it’s convenient, he’s a lesson?”
“Unless you deal with your rage, Libby, it will become a permanent part of you and you’ll lose everyone you love.”
“I’m only angry with Jess!”
“You’re not. You’re angry with everyone who doesn’t agree with you. You’re angry with Leo too, but he isn’t Jess. He’s blameless of the sins of his mother. He needs you. It’s time to step up.”
Nick gently squeezed Libby’s shoulder. “Think about it, tesoro mio.”
She shrugged away his touch, furious with them both. “Why can’t you see my side? If I go and talk to her, she wins.”
Karen’s body sagged into the chair. “Oh, Libby. It’s not a competition.”
Nick stared as if he didn’t recognize her. “For God’s sake! Didn’t you hear a thing Karen just said? Jess was your best friend and now she’s dying. Think about it. She’s not going to see Leo grow up.”
But we will. In death, Jess was inserting herself into the heart of Libby’s family, just like she’d done for years, and had been trying to do for months. In the process, she was ripping away any
