“Maybe.”
“You don’t sound certain.”
“I thought we’d both found our way through it. He doesn’t act like someone who’s grieving. I mean, apart from this week, he’s been happier and more content than he’s been in months. I’m the one desperate for a baby.”
Alice’s heart cramped for herself and her twin. “Does Nick want it too?”
“Lately he’s been saying the girls are enough and—Oh God!” Libby’s hand flew to her mouth. “Is that it? He doesn’t want another baby.”
Alice shook her head, worried that her normally rational sister was jumping to conclusions based on fear and lack of sleep. “That’s not what I’m suggesting at all.”
“Except we’ve been trying to get pregnant for a year!” Libby wrung her hands. “I dropped my bundle just before Christmas and he suggested we stop trying so hard.”
“Did you?”
“It wasn’t easy but I was in such a state it made a sort of sense. The thing is, after we had sex on Valentine’s night, I told him I was ovulating and I hoped I’d get pregnant. What if he’s freaking out that I’m pregnant and he’s too scared to tell me he doesn’t want another child?”
Alice swallowed hope and regret before steeling herself. “Are you pregnant?”
“I don’t know! I’ve been too scared to do the test.” Libby sucked in her cheeks. “If it’s negative, Al, it means there’s a problem. Both of us would need to have tests. What if he says he doesn’t want them?”
Alice shuddered, unable to shut out her mother’s matter-of-fact words from the day before. “Oh, Libs. You have to talk to him.”
“I need to read the psych report!”
“Libby!”
Her twin sighed and sank into her blanket. “I know. You’re right. Nick and I need to have a long and frank conversation. Get ourselves back on the same page.”
Alice remembered the last long and frank conversation she’d had with Lawrence and instantly reassured herself that Libby’s conversation would be nothing like it. Nick loved her to pieces. He always had.
“Tell you what, how about the girls stay here tonight so you and Nick have some uninterrupted time on your own?”
“After the shock of neither of us coming home last night, the girls will be clingy. I know Jess had problems getting them to bed.”
Alice tamped down her chagrin that Libby had rejected her offer to stay with her nieces the previous night, insisting that Jess remain at the house. “How about I look after Indi today and pick up Lucy from school. That way when they discharge Nick, there’s no pressure to rush back. Talk in Bairnsdale and then you’ll be home for the girls tonight.”
“Nick will want to come straight home and if we’re going to talk, I’m not having that sort of conversation in the Bean and Grind café.”
“I’ll look after them here until you call me to bring them to Burrunan.”
“Jess will probably have Indi today.”
“But I’ve already offered,” Alice ground out. Years ago, she’d accepted that Libby’s close friendship with Jess excluded her, but now it seemed to be shutting her out of her nieces’ lives. “And I’ve got the day off, whereas Jess will have to juggle her work around two kids. Even if she does offer, is it fair to accept?”
Libby let out a low groan. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m not thinking straight. I’ll go home and have breakfast with the girls and talk to Jess. She was amazing last night. She sent me texts and called me every couple of hours to check I was okay and reassure me that the girls were settled and asleep.”
Was the comment a shot at Alice and her parents? They’d deliberately hung back from barraging Libby with texts and calls, not wanting to bother her. They knew her energies would be focused on Nick and she’d contact them when she had news. It didn’t mean they cared any less.
“Great,” Alice finally managed, although it lacked conviction.
Libby’s phone rang and she fished it out of her pocket. “Hi, Jess … Good thanks. I’ll be home soon. I’m not going back to Bairnsdale until … Oh, okay, I’d forgotten. No, that’s fine, please, don’t stress. I totally understand. I just appreciate that you were … Hang on, I’ll ask Alice.” She muted the phone. “Can you mind Indi and Leo today?”
Alice stopped herself from asking why Jess needed childcare at such short notice—did it really matter? “Sure. No problem. The more the merrier.”
Libby blew her a kiss and returned to the call, firming up arrangements before hanging up. “I’ll take Lucy to school, drop the kids off here, go and sort out the practice and then drive back to Nick.”
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll take the kids on a playground picnic.”
“Thanks.” Libby’s fingers fiddled with a ragged bit of loose wool. “Listen, when you’re in town and people ask how Nick is, can you tell them he’s fine? The last thing he needs or wants is a fuss.”
“Sure, but what are you going to tell Mom and Dad? Last night Mom was doing her “everything will be fine” thing and stress cleaning. Still, there are advantages.”
“Besides a clean oven?”
“Absolutely. For a few hours her focus shifted far away from me and settled on Nick. I must thank him.”
“You’re exaggerating. Mom doesn’t stress about you that much anymore.”
Alice raised a brow. “Nice try, but we both know the truth. You cause her momentary concerns and I make up the other ninety-nine percent.”
Libby looked like she was about to argue, but all she said was, “Tell Mom I’ll call her this morning.”
They fell silent, gazing across the lake and enjoying the spectacle of a flock of swans rising gracefully into the tangerine sky. Alice expected Libby to stand and leave, but she sat as if moving would take more energy than she could muster. The frigid early morning air was making sorties through any clothing gaps and Alice tugged the blanket more tightly around herself.
Eventually Libby spoke. “So, how are
