And then there was Alice. How could her sister have allowed the meeting to happen? It was yet another betrayal from someone who professed to love her.
Libby deliberately turned up the girls’ favorite song before saying quietly to Nick. “Drop me off at Mom’s.”
“What about the bedtime routine?”
“That’s on you tonight.”
“I’ve told you multiple times, I didn’t know she was there.”
“And I’ve told you to drop me off at Mom’s.”
He swore under his breath and took the next left. When the car came to a stop outside the Pelican House gates, Libby turned and blew kisses to the girls. “Daddy’s taking you home and I’ll be there soon.”
“But want to see Glamma,” Indi demanded.
“Not tonight, it’s bedtime.” Libby slammed the door against Indi’s cries of disappointment and Nick’s dark glare. She jogged along the winding drive to the house.
“Mom?”
“In the TV room, darling,” her mother’s voice floated down the hall. “I thought you’d be at the park?”
Libby found her mother on the couch and threw herself down next to her, tears threatening. “You won’t believe what just happened.”
Karen listened and offered tissues. “That must have been hard.”
“It was awful. Alice should—”
“I think Alice did her best in a difficult situation,” Karen said unusually firmly.
“How? She didn’t even text me!”
“Has it occurred to you that perhaps she was trying to protect you?”
“I don’t need protecting! I need honesty and the truth and no one’s giving it to me.”
“Sweetheart.” Karen sighed. “Alice, Dad and I only have your best interests at heart. If, in your eyes, we get it wrong occasionally, it might be worth trying to look at it from our point of view.”
Indignation rankled. “So—what? I’m the problem now?”
Karen bit her lip. “Come into the kitchen and I’ll make you a hot chocolate.”
“Swiss Miss not going to fix this.” Whenever Libby was upset or couldn’t sleep as a child, her mother had made her a soothing hot chocolate.
“Probably not, but it will give you time to calm down before going home.”
As Libby watched her mother prepare the drinks, she focused on trying to still her swirling thoughts and empty her mind. By the time Karen slid the mug toward her, she was feeling a little calmer.
“I’ve been thinking.” Karen wrapped her hands around the warm mug. “Would it make things easier if Alice or I picked Leo up for access visits? That way you don’t have to see Jess and Nick is never alone with her.”
The viscous milk clogged Libby’s throat and she coughed. “There won’t be any access visits.”
Karen’s eyes dimmed with something Libby refused to interpret as disappointment. “I really wish you’d change your mind.”
I won’t. Libby gripped her mug, welcoming the burn on her palms. It hurt a hell of a lot less than everything else in her life.
Despite the winter chill, Libby walked home from Pelican House, embracing the salt-infused night and its soothing qualities. Nick met her the moment she walked inside.
“You’re cutting things fine,” he said accusingly. “We need to choose a date, time and place to meet Jess and email her the details before 10:00.”
A red haze blurred her vision, stealing every soothing effect of her walk. “We are not negotiating with that woman.”
Nick’s jaw tightened and he poured himself a shot of grappa. The guilt and contrition that had ringed him for months had faded recently, along with his eagerness to please. It had been replaced by muted anger.
“You can’t ignore Leo.”
“Yes, I can. He’s got nothing to do with me.”
“Of course he’s got something to do with you! He’s connected to you and the girls through me. He’s family.”
“He’s not part of my family!”
“I want him to be part of our family.”
He said it so quietly, Libby tried to pretend she hadn’t heard the words. Unfortunately, the nausea spinning her stomach was confirmation. “And I don’t.”
Nick downed the grappa and then the glass clinked on the counter. “I’m trying hard here, Libby, but you’re not making it easy.”
“Given the circumstances, that’s not my job.”
“Fine! But you’re not making sense either. As the local doctor, you champion children’s rights all the time. Hell, for years you ranted long and hard about how much Jess suffered at the hands of this town, yet you’re inflicting the same thing on Leo.”
“I’m not!”
“You are!”
“There’s no comparison. Leo is loved by his mother. You’re providing for him financially. He’s well fed and safe from harm.”
Nick sucked in a deep breath, the sound sharp and taut. “I’m his father. He deserves to know me.”
His words ripped her apart. “Why not go ahead and say it? Just get it over and done with.”
“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.”
“The girls and I aren’t enough for you. You want to know him. You want a son!”
His body shook and he flung out his arms, looking as Mediterranean as his grandfather. “It wouldn’t matter if Leo was a girl. I’m trying to right a wrong, Libby. To find my integrity and be the honorable man you fell in love with. I’m owning my responsibilities.”
“What about your responsibilities to me?”
“Whatever I do, it’s never going to be enough, is it? I’ve tried reading those bloody self-help books you keep giving me about healing marriages after an affair, but none of them fit our situation. I didn’t have a long-standing affair. Hell, it wasn’t even an affair! It was a stupid mistake I regret every single day. But I’m not an island, Libby. When it happened, neither of us were capable of supporting each other.”
“That sounds like you’re parroting something a counselor said to you.”
“Doesn’t make it any less true.”
“None of this is my fault.”
“For fuck’s sake! When you say things like that it makes me think you really don’t want our marriage to survive.”
Although there’d been moments when Libby had wondered if they could ever come back from
