“Okay,” she croaks, and I shut the door.
In the hallway I pause and lean against the wall. Sucking in a breath I shake my head and laugh. Who’d ever think Alexa Neville would be able to bring me to my knees, but here we are. That girl will be my undoing. I know it and so does she. I shove off and go to the living room and grab my biscuit, ripping into it with my teeth and tearing off a big chunk of egg. I crumple the wrapper and put my shirt back on. My shirt smells of Alexa. Fuck me.
The heat of her stare penetrates me minutes later. I glance up and gone is the broken girl. Alexa stands across from me a woman wearing too tight jeans and a black top with a deep V showing off her cleavage. Her hair hangs in a loose braid over her right shoulder. Makeup done up, pretty red lips. Gazing at her right now you wouldn’t know she’d been raped, but I know. I can’t forget. That bastard won’t forget it either the short time he has left.
“Hungry?” I receive a nod in response.
Alexa plops down on the couch next to me, her thigh pressed to mine. The sweet yet faint smell of her perfume washes over me and hums through my veins. Sweet as candy. Sweet as that red lip gloss she’s started wearing lately. She used to wear a shade of bubblegum pink. What’s that say about me that I know when she changes shit up. I’m a filthy fucking bastard, and yet I don’t give a fuck. The damage has been done. Her fate is wrapped up with mine. I knew it when I first saw her. I wanted her. I still do, but I can never act on those desires.
I’m not a good man, but I try to be for Rochelle. If it wasn’t for my daughter, I’d left Ruthie a long time ago. My wife is a bitch, and I know she’d make damn sure I never have contact with Ro. Ruthie knows too much. Bitch could put my ass back in prison. Loves to hold shit from the past over my head. And yet I still stay loyal and faithful like a fucking dog.
Alexa twists the cap off her orange juice and takes a long drink. “What’s the plan?”
“Taking you to get checked over. Don’t give me no lip or fight me on this. I know someone who will be discreet. Bit of a drive though.”
“All right. I won’t.”
“Good.”
Her hand reaches out for mine, and I let her take it though I shouldn’t. One touch could spark a fucking wildfire. “Thank you for doing this. For everything. If I didn’t have you...I don’t know what I’d do.”
“Don’t mention it. Finish that off we gotta head out.” I drop her hand and stand up. Pulling my cigarettes out of my cut I light one up and peek outside through the blinds. A couple kids are walking toward the bus stop. They are about the same age as Alexa, but she’s not like them. She is unlike anyone I’ve ever met.
I take a long draw off my Marlboro and dig Slick’s keys out of my pocket.
“All set.”
I look over at Alexa and she has her bag strung over her shoulder. “You got everything?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s roll.” I open the front door and glance around once more for prying eyes then shuffle Alexa toward the cage. Slick has a black Ford F-150 with tinted windows. Not something I’d choose myself, but it’ll do for what I need it for. People see a pretty blonde in Slick’s cage they won’t think twice about it. They see her on the back of my motorcycle there’ll be talk. Whisperings I don’t need. Don’t need the fucking 5-O getting in my business again.
“Buckle up,” I growl, as I climb into the driver’s seat and adjust the mirrors.
Alexa fiddles with the radio, and I ignore her for most of the drive. She tries to talk, but I shut her out. I need to get my head straight. Whenever she’s near me I can’t even breathe right. The AC blows, giving me whiffs of her sweetness. I steal a glance her way, and when I see her tears, I fucking break. I gotta fix this. Fix her. I just don’t know how. We’re an hour outside of Charleston now. I turn down the radio and catch her gaze as I pull off at a gas station.
“Want something?” She shakes her head. “I’ll be back.” I don’t wait for a response. I get out needing a break from being so close to her and yet so far away. The smell of gasoline assaults my senses, and I head inside for a coffee. I grab what I need and at the counter is these big square red cinnamon flavored suckers Rochelle loves so I grab a handful of them. I think Alexa likes them too. I pay and get back in the truck. Alexa’s resting her head against the window. Her eyes are closed. The weight of the world balanced on her shoulders.
“Hey.” I tip her chin up. “You good?”
“No. I’m terrified. What if I’m pregnant? Then what?”
“Then you ask yourself what you want.”
“To turn back time and to have never met Todd.”
“Can’t go back. We can only move forward. It’s going to be fine.”
“You can’t know that.”
“Rochelle tell you I did time?”
“Yeah.”
“Circumstances can always change. I got out. Came home to my family.”
Alexa snorts. “To a wife who despises you.”
“To a daughter I love who has a pain in my ass best friend.” That earns me a smile. “Here.” I dump the suckers in her lap and situate my cup in the holder in the middle of the console.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Alexa tears the plastic wrapping off one and thrusts it between her sweet lips. My mind flashes to thoughts of those red lips wrapping around something else, and I hate myself
