water. Tucking two pills in the palm of my hand he says, “Take these. It’s antibiotics just in case.”

I take one look at the pills and toss them down my throat and gulp the water to chase it down.

“Good girl. Go on and get in the shower I’ll bring your bag in and leave it outside the bathroom then I’ll go down a few blocks and grab some food. Sound good?”

“Okay.” James goes out to get my bag and I go to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. The room isn’t all that great or clean, but neither am I for that matter. I twist the knobs turning the water as hot as it will go. I strip out of my clothes as steam fills the small room. I don’t know if James has brought my bag in or not. Standing in my bra and panties I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I want to cry at the girl I see looking back at me. Bruised and battered but like he said I’m still breathing. The mirror fogs up and my reflection disappears.

Bile rises up the back of my throat, and I drop to my knees throwing up violently. My chest heaves as I choke on my snot, tears, and vomit.

A light knock taps against the bathroom door.

“Lex, you decent?”

“It’s unlocked,” I tell him.

The door opens. “Oh shit. Sorry. Thought to you said it was cool.” He holds a hand over his face.

“It’s fine. No different than a bathing suit, right?” I shrug.

“Guess not. I was just gonna ask what you want to eat.”

“I can’t eat. I can’t even find the energy to step into the shower.”

He moves behind me and fiddles with the water temperature. “You got it hot enough to peel your damn skin off.”

“That’s kind of the point.”

I glance at what he’s doing and see him changing the flow from the shower to the tub and putting the plug in. “C’mon. Get in.”

I nod and start sliding my bra straps down my arms. James stops me. “Leave that on.”

“What for?”

“Because I decided you don’t need to be alone right now, sweetheart. Let me take care of you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

I slide down into the tub. The warm water covers my legs, and I lay my head back on the tiles. James unwraps the complimentary soap and a washcloth. He wets both then lathers the soap on the cloth. Touching me light as a feather he takes his time washing my sins away, but I’ll never be fully clean.

I’ll never be free of the memories that haunt me.

“You can’t see it now, but you’re gonna be okay.”

“I’m not your sister.”

“I know that, Lex. There’s nothing brotherly about the way I feel about you.”

“What, you see me like Rochelle?”

“Cut the shit out. We both know what’s growing between us even if it can never happen.”

“James.” I grab his arm.

“What?” he drops the washcloth and pulls away.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

He leaves me alone with so many thoughts swirling in my head. I’m trying to push away the bad and hold on to the hope he just gave me.

“We both know what’s growing between us.” Yeah, I do. He doesn’t see me as dirty. He wants me still even after...

Faith in him blooms in my chest. I sink down into the water and wet my hair.

Chapter Seven

I arrive back at the room with the food and find Alexa sitting on the edge of the bed wrapped in a thin towel with the air conditioner blowing. Jesus. “It’s freezing in here. What the hell are you doing?” I sit the food and drinks on the table then proceed to turn off the AC.

“If I can’t burn their touch away maybe I can freeze it.”

I go to my knees and take her trembling hands in mine. “I’d take it away. Make you numb to it if I could.”

“There’s one way you can make it go away.” Her teeth chatter as she speaks.

“And how’s that? I’ll do my best to do whatever it takes.”

Alexa holds my gaze. “Make me forget. Show me that not all men are bad and hurt. That sex doesn’t equal pain.”

My throat bobs as I swallow hard. “Can’t do that, Lex. One day when you’re older and wiser you’ll find a man who will treat you the way he ought to. Sex doesn’t equal pain, but it should come from a place of love and not just need. You’re hurting now, but in time you’ll fall in love.”

She jerks from my hold. “Don’t feed me that love bullshit. You don’t love your wife, but you still fuck her.”

“Shut the fuck up. You don’t know what you’re talking about. If I touched you right now, I’d be just as bad if not worse than the scum who hurt you. I’m not that man. I won’t be that guy.”

“I’m giving you permission.”

“You’re hurting. You don’t know what you want right now. You’re lost.”

“You said you’d do whatever it takes. So I’m begging you.” Alexa grabs my hand, bringing it to her chest, flattening the palm over her heart. “Do whatever it takes. Make it go away. Fix me. I don’t want to feel this way forever. Please. I don’t want to remember. Give me something to replace those thoughts.”

I drop my forehead against hers. “I can’t.”

“You mean you won’t.”

“Yeah,” I whisper the words against her lips, getting a taste of heaven and hell before I pull away. “You need to get some food in you.”

“I’m not hungry.”

I go over to the table and start putting the food out. Greasy burgers and fries. “You like chocolate milkshakes?”

“Sure.”

“Get some clothes on. I got one with your name on it with whip cream and a cherry on top.”  I don’t wait for her to do as she’s told. I pull out a chair and start eating. At some point the bathroom door closes and opens again. I glance up from my food and see Alexa sitting across from

Добавить отзыв
ВСЕ ОТЗЫВЫ О КНИГЕ В ИЗБРАННОЕ

0

Вы можете отметить интересные вам фрагменты текста, которые будут доступны по уникальной ссылке в адресной строке браузера.

Отметить Добавить цитату