“No offense but you can’t expect me to want to go back to the scene of the crime.”
Fuck. She’s right. I didn’t even think about that. “Well I’ll take you back to the safehouse or get you another room until I figure out our next move. Shit is complicated.”
“Do we have to go back today? Can’t we just stay here?”
“Make you a deal. You give me that other name, and I’ll wait till morning before we go back.”
“I don’t know his name, but I do remember something about him.”
“What?”
“A tattoo. Um...on his hand. A lion’s head in color with a big fancy crown like one a king would wear.”
My stomach drops. “Anything else?”
She nods her head and takes a sip of her milkshake. “I know the sound of his voice and he smelled like um tobacco and a cough drop.”
“Menthol,” I growl.
“I guess. So, can we stay here for the night? A deal is a deal, right?”
“Gave you my word. Stay here, I need to make a call.” I push my chair back and step outside. I call Ruthie. I need to check in. And I need to remind myself why I can’t go off the rails. “I know you’re pissed, but I’m gonna be out another night. We got a lot to talk about.”
“I want a divorce, James.”
“Now isn’t the time for this shit.”
“I met someone.”
I grip the phone tighter. “You been stepping out on me? The fuck, Ruthie?”
“Neither of us are happy.”
She’s got that right. “How long has this shit been going on behind my back?” I snarl. Some things with this bitch never change.
“We’ll talk when you get back. We’ll figure out custody of Rochelle.”
“You’re not taking her any-damn-where.”
“I don’t want to fight. The right thing for you to do is give me the house.”
“Not having this conversation right now. But this is totally fucked. You know it, and I know it. You saying you’re done with me?”
“Yeah. We tried. It didn’t work. I want out.”
“Then you’re out. And so am I.” I hang up on her and shut my phone off. God damn her. Fucking cunt. I kick the side of the vending machine and fucking pop can falls out the slot. I go back to the room and sit the can of pop on the table. Alexa is eating the rest of her food and as pissed as I am it brings a smile to my face.
“When you’re done with that, you need to take this.” I slide the pregnancy test out the bag that Anna gave me.
“I don’t want to know.”
“Gotta take the test so you can figure out what you want, Lex.”
She gulps. “Fine. I’ll do it now.”
I hand the test over as she slides out her chair. Her fingers brush against mine, and I feel her touch so deeply it takes my breath away.
Alexa goes into the bathroom, and I wait impatiently as the minutes tick by.
Fucking hell I hope she isn’t pregnant. A baby is the last thing she needs in her life.
The bathroom door opens and Alexa smiles at me big and wide holding up the test. “Negative.”
“I got something I gotta do. Lock the door behind me. Don’t open the door to anyone and don’t leave this room. Got me?”
“I got you.”
“Good.” I hold her gaze and see she will be okay while I step out for a bit to let off some steam. I climb in the truck and throw my head back. Fuck. I punch the steering wheel. Ruthie met someone. I shake my head. Been faithful since we got together. Sure, I thought about it a few times, but I always put the needs of my family—of my club first. What’s it gotten me? A cheating wife. A knife twisted in my heart. Gave her everything. Stuck with her for the sake of her reputation and for my kid. Stupid cunt. Fucking Ruthie. Story of my life. The bitch has been nothing but a thorn in my side since the day we met.
I’m so fucking done with all this shit. Living a life I don’t even recognize anymore. Ruthie has the power to destroy me and take away my freedom if she chooses to do so. I’ve done shit I’m not proud of. I fucked up big when I got released from prison. I don’t know what game Ruthie is playing, but I know she’ll never stop holding the past over my head. I don’t give a fuck what she says. Divorce or not she’ll use what I did to get her way no matter what.
The fucked up thing is I should take her out, but she swears if anything happens to her then she has insurance in place to make sure everyone finds out what I did.
I drive to the nearest liquor store and buy a bottle of whiskey. Back in the truck I open the bottle and chug. Every argument Ruthie and I’ve had lately plays in my head on an endless loop.
Anna gives me a ring. The tests she did for Alexa came back negative too. Some of the STD panels will take a few days, but she thinks she will be fine with the antibiotics I gave her.
I drive around aimlessly, the liquor burning the back of my throat until I can no longer think straight. I shouldn’t be driving. I should be home worrying about my daughter, but the last place I want to be is anywhere near my cunt wife. I try to be quiet when I return to the room, nearly tripping over my own feet. Alexa is curled up on top of the covers in the fetal position.
“She sleeps,” I mutter to myself
