We get on the road and she’s giving me the silent treatment. It’s for the best. She should hate me. I need her to make the choice because I don’t know that I’m strong enough to let her go on my own. I must be fucking crazy. My life is falling apart and yet all I can think about is her. Keeping her safe. But to do that I gotta let her go. Send her out into the world to live a better life than I can give her if she stays here. I don’t know what the hell she’s done to me. Put me under some sort of fucking spell or what because for her I’m feeling ready to burn the world down.
“You want breakfast?”
No response.
“You thirsty?”
She continues to gaze at the scenery out the passenger window. Eventually I hear her messing with the wrapper of one them cinnamon suckers. I steal a glance out the corner of my eye, but she never looks my way.
I shut the radio off. “I’m fuckin’ talking to you.”
I’m met with more silence. Then she cranks the radio up as loud as it’ll go. Stubborn fucking brat. I swerve off the road and turn down a dirt road, stopping only when we get out of view from passing traffic. I shut the truck off and go to the passenger side. When I put my hand on the handle, I hear the lock engage.
“Open the door.”
Alexa shakes her head.
“We don’t have time for your petty ass bullshit. Alexa.” I slap the door and she flinches. “Open the God damned door now.” She continues to defy me, shooting me this prissy assed expression that has me wanting to bend her over my damn knee and spank that attitude right out of her. I remember I have the damn keys in my hand, and I get the door unlocked easily enough. When I open her side, she scrambles to crawl across the seat, but I’m faster, and when I get hold of her, she goes rigid like a damn statue.
“We’re settling this shit right now.” I grab her throat and press her back in the seat. “You think this is easy. For the first time in years I’ve found something I want, and I gotta give it up. Because I’m not right for you.”
We both know this won’t lead anywhere good. Her gaze meets mine, and it’s so damn cold I’d swear she’s dead if it weren’t for the erratic breaths leaving her parted lips. Her tongue darts out to wet her mouth and I lose it. “When I look into your eyes and see that fire gone, Lexi...fuck, baby. Damn near kills me.” I bring my mouth down on hers, thrusting my tongue deep between those sweet cinnamon flavored lips needing her to know I care more than she knows.
Alexa moans into my mouth and the sound travels to my dick. Her hand goes to the back of my neck and she kisses me like it’s goodbye and maybe it is. Even though I need to be back in West Virginia, I take my time, savoring this moment. This last piece of heaven I’ll ever taste.
Sliding my hand from her throat to her jaw, I break away and hold her gaze. “I see you, pretty girl, but I can’t keep you as bad as I want to.”
Her forehead drops to mine. Her cinnamon breath fanning over my lips. “I hear you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she whispers with a slight nod.
“Would give you the world if I could.” I kiss her once more, having a hard time doing what I know I gotta.
Alexa breaks away. “I don’t want the world. I only wanna live in yours.” Her words punch me straight in the damn gut and suck all the wind right outta me.
“Would if I could. Give you it all.” I drop my hand and peer into her eyes seeing the flecks of color brighter than before. “You gonna stop being a brat?”
“I think we both know that’ll never happen.”
“Right. You good?”
“No, but I will be.”
“Most girls your age don’t even know who they are, but not you. You’re a cut above the rest.”
“I’m no one special. No one at all, but you treat me like I’m somebody.”
I climb back in the driver’s seat and drive back to Lily’s Hope.
“I’m glad you came back.” Anna welcomes Alexa with open arms. “We’re about to start on lunch, you can give us a hand in the kitchen.”
“Later, pretty girl.” I shoot her a wink as Anna steers her inside with her bag slung over her shoulder. It’s better this way.
The second the door shuts behind them Lily is up in my face. “What are you doing with this girl, James? How old is she?”
“Don’t worry about it. I got it handled.”
“That’s what you said when I got into trouble and look where it got you.”
“Shit is different now. Don’t worry.”
“What about Ruthie and Ro?”
“Let me worry about it. Just look after Alexa for me. She doesn’t leave and no one is to know she’s here.”
“I don’t like this. The way she looks at you...you’re fucking her.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Just promise me that you won’t do anything stupid.”
“Promise,” I lie. It’s too little too late. I’ve already fucked up more times than I can’t count. I’m already going to hell, and I’ll gladly burn for the night I shared with Alexa. I know I’m a dirty bastard for what I’ve done, but I’ve only just begun. The body count is about to get a lot higher. I made a promise to Alexa, and I won’t let her down. Todd is going to pay.
“Love you, James.” Lily wraps an arm around me, and I kiss her temple.
“You worry too damn much.” I run my finger along the scar on her left cheek. Yeah, I’d kill that fuck and serve my time all over again for the shit he did to my sister. You wouldn’t know the shit she’s been
