Bitch doesn’t do it for me. Looks like a damn plastic doll now, but it’s what she wanted to make herself feel good, and I didn’t want to deny her.
“You shouldn’t have gone to the trouble.”
“James...don’t you want to try? Rochelle needs us together. Before you know it, she’ll be off to college, and then it’ll be the two of us. We can get back to good.”
I should cross the room and go to her. She’s my wife. But I don’t love her. “Smells like desperation in here. Told you, I’m not playing your games. You can’t control me with sex. I’m not fifteen anymore. You sure as shit aren’t either.”
“Who is she?”
“None of your fuckin’ business.”
“James...please.” Ruthie hops up off the bed, her fake titties popping out the see-through purple lace. “Let me show you that I do care. That we’re worth saving.” Bitch drops to her knees and wraps her arms around my leg. “Don’t leave.”
I breathe out heavily through my nostrils. “I don’t have time for this. I got somewhere to be.” I bend down to pull her arms off me. “Stop embarrassing yourself.”
“You told me to fight.” She cries. And scratches my jaw, digging her nails in so damn deep it burns.
I grab her up by the hair, sling her on the bed, and undo my belt. “This how you want me? Rough and unfeeling, babe. Want me to act like a monster for you?”
“I want you to take your pants off and make love to me.”
“I can fuck you but there’s no love between us. Roll over. I don’t want to see your face.”
Ruthie rolls to her stomach and sticks her ass in the air. I’m not even hard, but I unzip and start stroking my length, thinking about Alexa and her pretty red lips. The way she gazes at me as though I’m her white knight instead of a demon from the pits of hell. I’m no hero. No saint, but when she stares at me with them pretty green eyes I feel as though I could be saved.
My cock grows erect, and I part Ruthie’s thighs. I don’t want her body or her heart. I slide inside her wishing she were someone else and hating myself for wanting what I can’t have.
“Yes,” Ruthie hisses.
I jerk her head back and clamp a palm to her lips. “Shut the fuck up. Don’t want to hear you either.” She nods, and I grip her shoulder, driving into her harder and harder, closing my eyes and remembering how good Alexa felt when she gave herself to me.
The sweet part of her lips and thighs so ready to be owned by me. The taste of her on my tongue. Fuck. I pull out and beat the head of my dick against the crack of Ruthie’s ass, to finish getting off.
“That’s it?” she seethes as I tuck back into my jeans.
I shrug and she flies at me like a crazy bearcat. Scratching and hitting anywhere she can connect with me. I wrap my arms around her, caging her in. her body sags against mine. “You gonna stop,” I murmur in her ear.
“I swear to you, James, if I find out who you’re fucking I’ll tell my father, and he’ll cut out her heart and make you eat it while I watch.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, sweetheart. I’m a heartless bastard. Bitches I stick my dick in to get it wet don’t matter to me. No more than you do.” I let her go. “Don’t wait up.”
“If you leave, I’ll tell my father you hit me.”
“Think I’m scared of your old man? One day he won’t be around to protect you. Then what will you do?”
Ruthie flings herself onto the bed and punches the mattress like a damn toddler pitching a fit. I leave her to wallow in her own misery. I slam the door and see Rochelle’s light is on. I pray she didn’t hear. I stop at her doorway and peer in at her to see her asleep with her headphones in. Probably to drown out her mother and me. I flick her light off.
“Sleep tight, princess.” I shut her door and go out to climb on my Road King, roaring off into the night toward Alexa.
Chapter Eleven
It’s late that much I know when my door creaks and he enters the room I’ve been staying in at Lily’s. She’s been great to me. Letting me share what I want to at my own pace and never forcing me into any uncomfortable situations or conversations. I’ve been here three or four days and have gotten to know some of the other women and their heartbreaking stories. One thing I have taken away from them is I’m not alone and there is hope for all of us.
“Hey, pretty girl. Did I wake you?” he leans against the wall looking like a biker dream, but there’s a sadness in his eyes.
“No. I couldn’t sleep anyway.” I sit up against the headboard and fiddle with the strap of my tank top that keeps sliding down my arm. “Wasn’t sure I’d see you again.”
“Made you a promise. You’ll never have to worry about Todd ever again.”
I suck in a breath. Chills tingle up and down my spine. The hair on my arms stands. I know Todd’s dead. Part of me is relieved. The rest of me is worried about James. He committed murder for me. “I see. Is that all?” my chin wobbles and tears burn in the creases of my eyes. I don’t want to cry but can’t seem to stop myself. My body trembles, my stomach twists in knots.
In three strides he comes to me. Knuckles brushing along my jaw he smiles. “I’m not good at goodbyes.”
“Does it have to be?”
“Seeing you again was a risk. Got a lot of shit going on. Shit I don’t want you dragged into.”
I wrap my fingers around his wrist. “Don’t go. Not yet.”
“Lex,” he winces, saying my name as if
