“Please, James. I know you have to go but can’t you just hold me for a minute.”
“It’s not a good idea, babe.” His lips brush over my forehead, and the tears I’ve been holding back fall freely. “Don’t cry.”
“I’ll be okay. You have to go.” I hiccup on a sob, turning my head away, unable to watch him walk out the door for good.
“Look at me.” He jerks my head toward him. “Wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
“I know. Will you....can I kiss you goodbye?”
James sucks in a breath then exhales. “Wish I was strong enough to resist the temptation of you.” His mouth comes down hard on mine, tongue prodding at the seam of my lips. I open to him and taste the saltiness of my own tears.
I grab the collar of his shirt and yank him toward me, catching him off guard. My sexy savior falls onto the bed with me. Fevered by desire he doesn’t break away. He continues to kiss me deep and with lots of tongue, fingers yanking at my clothes. My tank top gets tossed to the floor, and I return the favor, removing his tee, needing to feel him skin to skin one last time. A wave of perfume hits me, and I jerk away.
“You’ve been with someone else.” Scrubbing a palm over his beard he doesn’t deny it. I know he isn’t mine. I wish he were. The realization that I’m not the only woman in his life sucker punches me in the gut.
“You know I’m a married man.”
“I wish you were mine,” I confess. “I hate her. I shouldn’t, but I do. I wish terrible horrible things on her. I know that makes me a bad person.”
“If things were different, I’d make you mine.” He brings my hand to his lips, kisses my knuckles, and slides me to his side, hugging me tight. “I need to go. You deserve better. A fresh start somewhere new. Leave the mistakes you’ve made and the pain you endured behind.”
“Come with me. We can go anywhere. No one would ever find us.”
“We both know I can’t.” he nabs his shirt off the floor, but I stop him from putting it back on. I straddle his thighs. James wraps an arm around my back, and I cup his face between my hands, rubbing his beard.
“I don’t care that you’re married. You were meant to be with me. I know it, and you feel it, don’t you?” I press his palm to my heart over my bare breast. “It can be our secret. Just you and me. No one else. We can make it work. I’ll be with you any way I can be.”
I roll my hips and kiss his lips softly.
“Wouldn’t be fair. Wouldn’t be right.”
“You’re an outlaw. Since when do you care about doing the right thing? Do you love her?”
I hold his gaze refusing to back down from my question.
“Not talking about this with you.”
“I can handle the truth. I may be young, but I’m a good listener.”
“Last thing I wanna do is talk about my marital problems.”
“Then. What. Do. You. Want. To. Do.”
“Bury myself so deep inside you I disappear.” He holds me tighter.
“I wish we could stay like this right here forever.” I breathe him in and hate that I can smell his wife on him. Doing my best to block it out, I cradle my arms around his neck, pressing my breasts against his chest. “Stay with me. For the night.”
His hands rest on my wrists. “I’m no good for you.”
“I can’t unlove you and I don’t want to. You’ll never belong to me in the way that I belong to you. It kills me. But I’d rather take what pieces I can and hold on tight for as long as you’ll let me.”
“Don’t you want better, Lex. Better than this. Better than me.”
“How could there ever be better for me than you? No one has ever made me feel the way I do when you look at me. When you touch me, I think I could die because you showed me what true love is. You’ll say I’m young and don’t know what love is, but I know what hate is. I’ve seen ugly. I’ve tasted it. You killed for me. If that isn’t love, then what is? Who else would go that far for me? No one.”
“I’m no hero. Far from a saint.” Running his hand through my hair he smiles. “You’ve changed. Been forced to grow up a lot faster than you should’ve. You’re going to be just fine without me.” Hand sliding down my back, his fingers trace the ridges of my spine. “I’ve gotta let you go. I can’t keep you, babe. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but you aren’t one of them.”
I rock against him as our lips meet. James kisses me slow and methodical. He does this switch move, flipping me to my back. He gazes down at me, and I swear I can see his soul blazing behind his eyes. Burning for me. I’ll never forget this moment. I’ve committed the memory to my heart. The flames of his kisses dance across my skin. Dragging my shorts down my legs, he continues to taste every inch of my skin along the way until he meets my pelvic bone.
Heart thumping out of my chest I anticipate his next move.
He buries his head between my legs and shows me just how much he adores me with his fingers and tongue.
Teeth sinking into my lip, I bite it to keep from crying out. No one can know about us. They wouldn’t understand that he took the broken fragments holding me together, filled the gaps, and made me whole. Head thrown back on the bed I close my eyes as every stroke of his tongue is killing me slowly. I’ve never been more turned on.
The man doesn’t stop till my knees shakes and my stomach drops as though I’ve just gone down
