Marlow stared at both of us in disbelief. “She really is crazy.”
Mr. Dixon had been silent through most everything. “I see it now. The highs and lows. Always having her way. I never put that together.” He appeared apologetic, as if the hell she’d rained down on his family were his fault.
“She’s good,” Marlow said. “Better than good.”
“How’d you get Officer Wilson involved?” I asked. Duke had some cop friends, but like me, avoided them most of the time.
“I found his card on the desk in your office. Checked him out. He was looking out for you, so I called in a favor,” Duke said as if it were all simple. “He’s a good man.”
“Yeah.” I plowed my hand through my hair, exhausted.
“I need a drink,” Andrew said.
“Me too,” Holt and Mr. Dixon said simultaneously.
“I can’t have one,” Marlow lamented.
“We’ll drink one for you.” Holt playfully punched her in the arm.
I slid my arm around her waist. “Let’s go to Dino’s. I haven’t had anything decent to eat in days.”
Chapter Sixty-Four
Marlow
“I can’t believe it. She left us for the uncle none of us ever knew about.”
Blake’s hands were plastered on the windows of the study, adding a new layer of prints to the glass.
“She’s—I don’t even know an accurate word.” Patrick tightened his hold around my middle.
My head dropped back against his shoulder. “In a few months, it’s going to be hard for me to get off the floor.”
“I’ve got you.”
“And bitch is one word you’re looking for.” I covered his hands with mine. “What texts were you talking about?”
He released a long breath. “I kept getting these weird texts from an unknown number. At first I thought it was Heather Buchan, Trish’s ex-sister-in-law.”
“The one you solicited for sex?” I kissed his jaw to soften the sting of my words.
“I’d seen Terra. For the first time since everything.”
I twisted to face him. “That’s why you got so drunk.”
“Yeah. She didn’t see me or anything, but it just brought back all the memories.” He kissed my forehead. “I couldn’t handle it.”
“Do you find it odd that my mother has connected us all this time and we didn’t know it?”
“It’s weird. But I won’t be mad if she had something to do with Andrew and me meeting.”
“He’s not all that great.” I wrinkled my nose, and he grazed my earlobe.
“If I didn’t know him, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
“Are we? Here? Together?”
“Are you with me?” There was an edge of uncertainty in his voice I didn’t like.
I fiddled with his fingers. “It’s hard for me.” He tensed as I tried to collect my thoughts. “There are times when I feel guilty, even before you, that I’m here and he’s not.”
“Survivor’s guilt.”
I rolled my mouth to the side. “Maybe. Whatever you want to call it, it’s heavy.”
“And I can’t carry it for you,” he concluded.
“You understand me so well.” Even now it boggled my mind.
“Where does that leave us?”
“Where do you want it to?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Are you still angry with me for not automatically having your back?”
He pushed a lock of hair from my face. “Do I seem mad?”
“How can you forgive me so easily?”
“I’m thinking one day I’ll need your forgiveness too.” He nuzzled my nose.
“But—”
He put a finger up to my lips. “This thing happened while I was in jail. I had a lot of time to think.” Patrick paused, and I smacked him in the arm. He grinned before his expression turned serious. “I tried to put myself in your position. Maybe I didn’t like your initial reaction, but as soon as you found out I was in jail, you came. And apologies aren’t really your thing, so that counted for a lot too.”
“Shithead asshole fucker.” I fought a smile.
“They aren’t. I figure since you went to all the trouble, you must’ve meant it. And if I can’t learn to forgive, what kind of man does that make me? What kind of father will I be if can’t teach that to our kids?”
I rested my forehead against his temple. “You’re already a good father.”
“I’m trying. But I wasn’t finished. I thought about some other things too.”
“You did have a lot of time.”
He tickled my ribs. I squirmed until his hands landed on my stomach again. “There’s something about you, Wicked. As much as you piss me off, you make me a thousand times happier. When you and Blake aren’t here, it’s empty. I’m empty.”
“Damn it. You can’t say stuff like that.” I sniffled.
He tipped my chin up. “It’s true. And where’s the fun in a smooth road anyway?”
“I’d kinda like a smooth road.”
“Then we’ll try.” He brushed his lips across mine. “I love you.”
My chest tightened. “Any chance you’ve got room here for a pain in the ass and an adorable toddler?”
He shifted so my body was angled into his. “You’d move here?”
“Yeah.”
“But what about—”
“That life is gone, no matter how I tried to hold on to it.”
He touched his forehead to mine. “I wanted to set the place on fire.”
I moved my head back and stared incredulously. “Are you serious?”
“You’re attachment to it was making me crazy.”
“I can’t just get over the past.”
“I’m not asking you to. I don’t want you to live there. That’s all.”
“I can’t. You won’t let me.” I cupped his face. “I missed you.”
“That’s good to hear.” He situated me so my back was to his front once again. “I’d rather you skip helping Holt finish up the garage.”
“I’m going to be the receptionist when it opens.”
“Does he know that?”
“I mentioned it in passing.” A rush of air escaped me, my body going lax. “Hey. What about your case?”
“Trial is in two days.”
“Shouldn’t you be working on that?”
“I’ve got a guy on it.” He rested his chin on my shoulder. “I have other things I’d
