“What are you doing here?” I narrowed my eyes on him. “You know you’re not supposed to shift during the day or be on this trail. A camper could’ve seen you.”
“I could ask you the same.” He countered.
“I didn’t take the regular trail. I took our trail.” I folded my arms over my chest and glared at him.
A smirk twisted his lips, and he nodded to the way he’d come. “So did I.”
I clamped my lips shut. He was right. We’d both taken the back way we always used to. It was a path we’d carved through the woods all our own years ago.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. “Did you follow me?” The thought irked me more than I cared to admit. I didn’t want him following me. I didn’t want him near me because of the way my body and heart betrayed me every time he was.
I couldn’t trust either of them when I was around him.
“I didn’t follow you.” His expression shifted into his signature look. It was all moody and pissed off looking, but was sexy as hell. “I come up here a lot. It’s my place to think.”
My teeth sank in my bottom lip, and I relaxed my arms at my sides. Of course he came here. It was the place where his world fell apart.
“Oh,” I said.
“I think of you. I think of how we were before. Of the fun we had here. And I also think of all the pain that happened here too. This was where I learned my mom was gone. It’s also the last time I saw you.” He paused to run a hand through his hair.
My throat grew tight, and tears formed as I continued to stare at him, watching him be vulnerable. He’d shown me this side of himself more than once since I’d been back, but it was this moment that made me pause and see him for real. He was vulnerable and broken. Raw.
“It’s the place I learned about life and death, love and loss,” he continued. “I learned how quickly things can change, and I come here often to remind myself of that. I come here to grieve too.”
He slipped past me and walked to the right of the waterfall. It had always been my favorite place to sit and watch the rushing water while also soaking in the backdrop of the mountains in the distance.
Something caught my eye—a tiny white cross had been staked into the ground beside my favorite spot.
It was so small, most would probably miss it. I saw it though, and I blinked at the sight of it, trying not to let tears that had built fall.
“I put the cross there. For you. For our baby. For my parents. But most of all, for myself. A big piece of me died right here at the base of this waterfall, and sometimes I come here to mourn who I used to be.”
I couldn’t breathe. My lungs burned, and my bottom lip quivered as I tried my damnedest to keep in the sobs that wanted to push past my lips. I wiped my eyes, but it did no good. My vision still blurred heavily with more tears.
I knew Nash had been hurting, but I didn’t think he’d been hurting this entire time. I also knew I should say something, but I wasn’t able to find my voice. It had left me.
Nash shifted to face me. “Sam, I know I handled your decision wrong. I know that now. But back then, I felt like so much had been taken from me without my consent and that just felt like it was one more thing. I didn’t handle it the way I should have, and for that I’m sorry. I know you probably came to that decision with a lot of difficulty, and I’m sorry for how I behaved when you told me.”
I shook my head. The words I needed to say had formed, but I was having trouble pushing them past my lips. “I didn’t have an abortion, Nash. I lost the baby. I miscarried.”
Seeing how broken he already was, I knew my words would hurt him even more, but he needed to know the truth.
He blinked, and then his eyes darkened. His bear flashed to the surface next.
“You lost it?” He asked in a whisper.
There was so much pain and heartache twisted within his tone it broke my heart. I nodded but didn’t speak.
“But you never said anything,” he insisted, as though what I’d said couldn’t be true.
“You never gave me the chance.” I tucked a few stray strands of hair behind my ear, trying not to feel defensive. We were talking, and it was a conversation that needed to happen. I didn’t want to be defensive and shut it down, but my guards were flying up. “You just assumed and got pissed.”
Nash smoothed a hand over his face and exhaled a slow breath. “I did. There’s a lot I could say to that, excuses I could give and what not, but I won’t. All you need to hear is that I am so fucking sorry, Sam.” His voice cracked when he spoke and my eyes filled with tears again. He moved to stand closer to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. And, I’m sorry I was such an ass. I’m sorry for everything.”
The walls around my heart fractured.
“I know I might not deserve it, but I’m going to ask anyway—will you forgive me?” His sad eyes bored into mine when he spoke.
I opened my mouth to tell him that we’d both been at fault
