I hope he ain’t turnin’ me into a fool.
At the top of the summit, Clay parks the car and gets out. Now that part I wasn’t expecting; people on dates don’t usually exit their cars at the lookout. But I sit tight this time, giving him the chance to come over and open the door for me.
“M’lady,” he says as he opens it. I smile and step out, and he guides me to a specific spot, close to the cliff’s edge. We’re up so high, that I can’t see the ground below. It’s just darkness when I look straight down. There’s no one else around, and to be honest, I’m not sure how safe this is, but I trust Clay, so I relax.
“Look down there,” he says, pointing. From here, we can see all the lights of our town. I’ve never seen it look so beautiful. In fact, I ain’t never seen it look beautiful at all. Truthfully, I only ever look up when I come here on my own, so this is all new to me.
“Wow. It’s so pretty from up here. I can’t believe it,” I say.
“Yeah, it’s pretty, but notice anything else?” he asks eagerly. I look again and look hard this time.
“Oh, I see it! That new Dairy Queen place!”
“Not that!”
I roll my eyes but look once again and see nothing except all the lights.
“I give up. What am I sposeta be seein’?”
Clay sucks his teeth. “It looks like a big map a the United States.”
“What?” I look again. I squint. Okay. When I squint, I can maybe, kinda see it, but… no, not really.
“Well, yeah if Florida was shaped like a toothbrush.”
“It ain’t exact, Evvie!”
“Sure ain’t. Cuz Maine looks like a drumstick and California seems to be broken into two islands and a daggone peninsula. But other than all that, the likeness is uncanny,” I tease. He responds by tickling me, and I nearly fall out on the ground laughing, but then I shove him away cuz I’ve had enough, and he stops.
I glance back at the lights, really tryna see what he sees. But I can only see this map’s flaws now.
I sit on the hood and sigh. Clay sits next to me.
“Well,” he says.
“Well indeed,” I say back.
“So? Now you seen my two favorite places. When I’m gonna see yours?” he asks.
I hate that I can feel myself startin’ to blush. “This is my favorite place, Clay.”
His eyes widen, stunned.
“You serious?”
I nod my head, staring deep into his eyes.
“Why?” he wants to know.
“Why? Why do you ask?”
Clay sorta coughs and tries to chuckle. “Just wonderin’.” His eyes wander back out toward the view as he casually asks, “So? You been up here a lot? With—uh—friends?”
I frown, puzzlin’ over what he’s tryna say. When I get it, I’m flattered, not slighted, the way other girls might take it. He wants to know if I’ve been up here foolin’ around with guys.
“No. I usually come by myself. Probably sounds silly, but I like lookin’ at star formations, constellations, meteor activity. Comets. That type a thing.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Despite the lights from the town down there, this is the best place I’ve found to make out the stars clearly.”
Clay stares at me a long time, not sayin’ a word.
I feel a little exposed. I just never talk about this stuff with anyone.
“So. Yeah. That’s why this is my favorite place.”
He’s still just starin’! Does he think it’s that weird?
“How come you ain’t sayin’ nothin’?” I finally ask him.
He leans in and kisses me softly, then he pulls back, barely enough to free his lips from mine.
“There’s just nobody else like you.”
My whole damn body must’ve turnt burgundy by now with how much he’s makin’ this brown girl blush.
“I think—I think you’ve said that before.”
“Don’t be surprised if I say it again,” he whispers.
I can’t believe the intense way he’s lookin’ at me now. Like he’s finna swallow me up. And then I can’t help but wonder how many other girls he’s looked at, just like this.
He attempts another kiss, but I pull away.
“What’s wrong?” He looks like I just smacked him.
I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I start to speak but can’t. How do I say what I wanna say? I can’t just come out and ask him if he’s been with dozens of girls. Even though, in a way, he just asked me the same thing. I fiddle with the belt loops on my pedal pushers. He takes hold of both my hands to keep me from fidgeting.
“What’s goin’ on, Evvie?”
I think about it a different way, puttin’ the focus on me instead a him.
“We’ve known each other since before I can remember, but you never—uh—paid me a whole lotta attention. No more than anybody else, I mean. What’s different about me now?”
He seems completely shocked. I guess I am a little bit too. I didn’t realize that the suddenness of him, while like the dreamiest of dreams, had been eating at me. Making me think it could all end just as suddenly.
“Nothin’,” he says.
“Then it’s you that’s different?”
“No, there’s no—nobody and nothin’ is any different. Really.”
“Then damn, Clay! What the hell took you so long?”
He makes a strange face, somewhere between wantin’ to laugh and wantin’ to throw up. Maybe I shouldn’t be pushin’ him. I do want to know, but is it worth upsetting him? Of course, if he gets all worked up over a few simple questions, what’s he gonna do when we have a real fight?
“Evalene? I wanted to be somebody you’d be proud to have on your arm, ya know? That kinda thing takes time. I didn’t wanna mess up. With you,” he says.
“That wouldna happened.”
“You don’t know that,” he
