“Thing is? I’ve heard things, Clay,” I tell him. “And it ain’t all so good.”
“Like what?” he asks sharply. I’m caught off guard by his sharpness.
“I’ve heard that you have quite a few… lady friends.”
Clay stares straight ahead. A cloud of sadness passes over him. “That what you heard?”
“Yeah,” I say, now wishing I hadn’t brought it up, cuz he looks so hurt, it’s killin’ me.
“It’s none a my business,” I tell him. “You’re free to be with as many girls as you want. But,” I begin carefully, “I don’t wanna be one among many. I feel like I gotta be honest about that.”
Clay nods, and he looks down at the ground for a few seconds.
“This somethin’ you already made up your mind about?”
No! I haven’t hardly thought about it at all. Forgive me for sayin’ anything! I can’t lose us.
“Yes.” I swallow hard. Did I just lose him? Could it happen that fast? He looks down at the lights of the city and smiles a sad smile.
“Okay,” he says.
“Okay. What?”
He turns to me, all seriousness. “You will not be one among many. You are the only. Okay?”
I take a deep breath and feel like I’m on the verge of tears. I wasn’t entirely confident that he’d choose me over the masses. Maybe I had a feeling, but I wasn’t sure. “Okay,” I say.
“Wanna hear a secret?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“You shouldn’t believe everything you hear,” he says. Then he gets back into the car. He just gets into the driver’s seat this time, so I guess he’s run out of chivalry for the night. I open my own door like a regular person.
I sit down.
“You sayin’ it ain’t true?”
He turns to me, and I can’t read his expression. All I know is it ain’t makin’ me blush no more.
“In every rumor that’s ever been, there is a ounce of truth. Not a pound, but a ounce. Do you know what I mean?”
“I think so.”
“I’ve seen some girls, Evvie. Probably not as many as you’ve heard, but some.” He gazes out the windshield and sits very still. “I wish I was a clean slate, but I’m not.”
I don’t say anything, cuz I don’t know what to say.
“Is that a problem for you?” He asks it so softly, I almost wonder if he didn’t want me to hear him.
“No,” I tell him. “It’s not. I’m sorry, Clay. Who you been with in the past is none a my business. I didn’t mean to insult you or nothin’. Did I insult you?”
“Well? You basically just called me a tramp.”
I cover my mouth to hide my unintentional laugh, but then he smiles. We look at each other, and I simply can’t hold back anymore. I practically tackle the poor boy, and he giggles.
“Damn, girl!” But he reciprocates everything I throw his way and more. He comes up from burying his head in my neck and says “back seat” into my ear, and we clumsily crawl into the back. Clay slides the trumpet case to the floor to give us more room, and then he’s kissing me again. And he’s everywhere, moving down my arms, my belly, tasting my navel, and then he’s—
“Clay?” I resist the strong urge to jerk away from him. I’m not sure what this is, what he’s doin’ right now. This is unfamiliar territory for me.
“Yeah, baby?” he pants, and I think I’m just gonna dissolve into a puddle right here.
“What’re you doin’… down there?
He kisses my upper, inner thigh and glances back up at me.
“I told you: didn’t do my job last night. I’m doin’ it now.” And then he starts to… I feel like a naive child right now, cuz I have never even heard a the thing he’s doin’ to me. It’s sorta like making love, but… with his mouth? I have to keep holdin’ back laughter, cuz it feels so ticklish and foreign at first. And nice. And then more than nice. Better. More than better. And—
“Oh dear god,” I holler out before I can stop myself, and then I fall back against the seat. Clearly, I was floating above it. Clay gently kisses my belly again, my kneecap, my elbow, the palm of my hand. I caress his cheek ever so delicately and sweetly hold on to his head to prevent any more kisses, because I can’t take any more. I need a second to collect myself and find my way back down to planet Earth.
After what might be an hour, or two minutes, or twelve seconds, he speaks.
“How you feelin’ now?”
I blow air through my cheeks, then snicker. “You actin’ like I’m your patient.”
“That’s no answer.”
How can I possibly answer that question? Didn’t my every move and breath answer it for him? Maybe he wants a special medal or somethin’. To be fair: he’s earned it.
“Better.”
He lets out a huge laugh. “Better? That’s it?”
“Better than I ever felt before. Happy now?”
He nods and kisses my palm again.
“Where in the world did ya learn how to do that?” I ask. I really wanna know. This cannot just be innate knowledge.
“I follow my gut,” he says.
“Wait. What about you?” I ask. I must be back on this planet if I’m thinking this logically.
“It’s all right. We got time.”
I close my eyes. I cannot believe these last twenty-four hours. I just can’t. How can life change so fast? Don’t seem possible. Thinking on time and what it means, I briefly think about checkin’ my watch. I am still wearin’ it. Not wearin’ much else, but my watch is still on my wrist. I could so easily raise my arm and take a tiny glance. I don’t wanna worry Mama, and I do have work in the morning… but I can’t look at it right now. Too scared to break
