“Oh, son,” Mr. Darcy sighed, “I blame myself. I tried to teach you good principles but I left you to follow them in pride and conceit. Although I encouraged you to think well of those beyond our own family circle, I, myself, had taken too much pride in protecting our family name and reputation, and after your Aunt Catherine’s disgraceful behaviours, I failed to teach you on how to gain the esteem of a worthy woman, without regard to her status or accomplishments. I want nothing more than to gain Lizzy as a daughter but you have made an error in judgment in believing that logic will change her mind, Fitzwilliam. When have you seen her be anything but unique?” He shook his head, “I believe you have lost your chance of marrying her because you did not accept her as she is. You expected her to change for you by offering her wealth and comfort as most women would want in the ton. Did you truly believe she would be happy to make calls and gossip with other women? That she must adapt for you in order to meet your criterions of a perfect wife? She may love you but she loves all of us Darcys the same. She had never desired marriage and your proposal wounded her and she believes she has lost her friendship with you.”
William jumped to standing, “NO! I cannot lose her. What do I do, father? How do I assure her that I love her? I cannot live without her.” He rubbed his face, “I loved her for so long and even before I wanted her as my wife, she was always on my mind and I thought of her daily on my travels. I always felt I carried a part of her with me in my heart and I cannot bear to lose her friendship. I was an idiot and never mentioned my love for her or that I could not bear to spend my days without her. I spouted whatever first thing came to my mind because I was so arrogant to believe that she would accept me. I must go and speak with her now. I will beg for forgiveness and will wait patiently until I can win her. She is still so young and might still learn to be more like mama. I will not give up on her.”
“Sit down, Fitzwilliam.” Mr. Darcy directed. “She is not here. She is gone.”
“Where? Where did she go? When will she return?” William exclaimed. “I need to have her hear me out!”
Mr. Darcy rubbed his eyes, “She left this morning, son. She packed up her belongings and departed to Gracechurch Street. The Bennets wished to join her immediately but Lizzy insisted that the Gardiners did not have rooms for all of them and she had wished to spend time with the children while Jane enjoyed her time here. Easter is in three days and the Bennets will return to Hertfordshire next week, and Lizzy is likely to return with them instead of staying another fortnight with us as per custom.”
“I am going to see her right now, father.” William stood to call for his horse. “She must return here to me. I need her to come back and I must apologise.”
“It is late, Fitzwilliam. Give her time, son.” Mr. Darcy advised. “She will need some time to calm and she has left word with your mother that she has no wishes to see anyone. You know the Gardiners will not be able to convince her even if you sat in front of their house for days. I will ask your mother to mollify her tomorrow morning. Lizzy needs time and your mother is the only one she will speak with right now. If she can convince Lizzy to stay a little longer in Cheapside for Jane’s sake, you can make your apologies and see about restoring your friendship first. You will never be able to marry her if she will not speak with you.”
William sat down and sighed, “Thank you, father. I know Lizzy is an obstinate, head-strong girl, and that is why I love her. I truly do, you must know. She has been an integral part of my life these past six years and I cannot imagine happiness without her smiles and conversation. After I found her grown up, after she had tempted me beyond all sensibilities, I thought it perfect to continue to have her with me always. If I cannot have her as my wife, I do not know what I will do, father, but I must speak with her as soon as possible. I would give up everything for her friendship. She means the world to me.”
Mr. Darcy counselled his son, “I know you have gifted her many items through the year and last night’s outing was a first step of courtship, but you must also do what all men do to gain a woman’s regard. It took me a year to win over your mother and although you have your friendship with Lizzy already, she must be able to see you as a husband and more than as a brother. I must ask you if you love her as the woman she is and can accept her as herself, son. You wish for her to change to fit your idea of a perfect wife but no one is perfect and Lizzy is a singular girl. Do you want her to be the fawning society wife that you can find at any parties that you have attended so far, or do you wish for something else? Your feelings for
