“Thank you, father. You have much wisdom to share and I am appreciative that I have you to guide me. I must examine my own heart and see what I want for my future. I know I had made all of the plans on my own without considering Lizzy’s opinions and I must pay the price for my pride in believing that she would accept me because of our longstanding connection, but I must reconcile our relationship first and if she will only have me as her friend and blood-brother, I must accept it. I need her friendship and I need her to forgive me.” William stood. “I will go to my rooms now. I have much on my mind that I must assess. Thank you again, sir.”
“I will speak with your mother now and she will try to convince Lizzy to stay in town a little longer. She may not wish to return to Darcy House but if she remains with the Gardiners, you will be able to speak with her without having to chase her to Hertfordshire.” Mr. Darcy smiled. “No matter what outcome, Lizzy still loves you, Fitzwilliam. She has been a part of our family for so long and she will return to us. You must trust that.”
William nodded and walked to his rooms. His head was throbbing with all of the information he contemplated but his heart ached more than anything else. He knew that he made a great blunder but all he desired now was to hold Lizzy in his arms and beg for mercy. His heart felt empty without her under the same roof and his pain was most acute that she did not wish to be with him.
He threw his body onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering how quickly his mother could convince Lizzy to return to Darcy House, or at the least, stay in London with the Gardiners. His only hope was that she was willing to listen to him and he did not know what he could do to regain their friendship.
Chapter 6
April 1809
“How is she, Jane?” William asked Lizzy’s elder sister. “I was relieved to hear that you chose to stay with her at the Gardiners for the season while your family returned to Hertfordshire yesterday, but I hope she will be agreeable to see me today. I have been calling daily for the past several days but she has refused to come down. I am desperate to see her. Could you please... can you give her my note?” He sighed, “If she will not hear me, I wish to at least ask her to read my apology.” He handed her the parchment.
“I will give it to her, Darcy.” Jane softly replied. “She will forgive you but she is very confused. I know she struggled with herself when she began to grow up and appear more womanly, and she only agreed to come out when she did because I was terribly frightened of being out in society first. Our parents agreed because they knew Lizzy would not be interested in capturing a suitor but only in enjoying the entertainments in town and attending dinners while protecting me, and she has done exactly that. Whenever I feel uncomfortable with a gentleman who is giving me too much attentions, or I am being shy and at a loss for words at a social function, she steps in to help me and ensure that I am having a pleasant time. She is the best sister in the world and I only wish for her happiness and I know she is most happy when she is with you.” She stood up. “She might not become a good wife to any man but she is the best friend one could ask for. I hope you do not forget that in the future.” She headed upstairs while William remained in the sitting room. He hoped he could finally see her today.
~*~
“Lizzy, you must face him sometime,” Jane urged. “He wishes to apologise and make things right. Could you not forgive him?”
Lizzy wrung her handkerchief, “What is there to forgive? He proposed, I refused, and that is all there is to it. I cannot bear to face him, Jane. I do not wish to disappoint him because I will not change my mind and our friendship is ruined. I was caught completely unawares and I feel so stupid that I did not know.”
“He gave me a note, Lizzy. I think you should read it. At least give him a chance. He has been a good friend to you always, has he not?” She insisted. “It has been five days and you know he will not give up coming here every day. He is quite persistent and nearly as obstinate as you!” She teased her sister.
“Fine; give me the note. I will read it and you can tell him that you witnessed it.” Lizzy took the parchment and opened it.
Lizzy,
You are perfect as you are and I had no right to ask you to become someone you are not. Please forgive me. We are blood-brothers, are we not? Through thick and thin? I miss you.
Will
He had placed a thumbprint in his blood next to his name and Lizzy’s eyes teared with his simple apology. She only wanted his acceptance that she could be allowed to be
