“What kind of things?” I asked, drinking the bubbles down.
“All those little everyday things like sitting by a campfire with a beer and laughing with someone who understands you. It’s sitting down at the breakfast table and sharing your bagel and newspaper with someone who has way too much energy at seven a.m.”
I laughed then and rested my head back on the arm of the couch. “Sorry if that annoys you. Usually, by seven a.m., I’ve got half my day in.”
He shook his head, and his face turned serious. “That’s the thing. It doesn’t annoy me. Not even a little bit. It’s one of the things I love about you.”
“One of the things you love about me,” I said, sitting up. I was dizzy drunk and grabbed at Bishop to keep from toppling off the couch. “You can’t love me, Bishop. That’s a bad idea.”
“Well, I can love you. It’s not even hard. It’s as natural as getting up in the morning if you want me to be honest.”
“I mean, I mean,” I was stuttering around looking for words when he took the glass from me and set it down on the coffee table. “I mean that you could do so much better, Bishop. Like, so much better. Not to sound like Darla McFinkle, but you could have any woman you want!”
“Stop. I don’t want to hear you say that again. I warned you before. Don’t make me spank you.” His brow lowered, and I swallowed, a little bit afraid but also curious. Would he really spank me if I didn’t hush up? “I don’t know how Darla comes into play with that sentence, but if what you say is true, then the woman I want is you.”
I hung my head until my chin hit my chest. “You know what I mean!” I exclaimed, pushing at him. It was like trying to move a brick wall. Impossible.
“First, tell me how Darla comes into the equation.”
I waved my hand around in the air. “She always told Haylee that Brady could do so much better than her. She’d tell Brady the same thing. That was how Haylee got her kicked out as the beauty queen.”
“She deserves to rot in prison. Haylee is a beautiful, bright, wickedly funny woman, and if I’m honest, and Brady knows it, too, she could do so much better than him. The thing is, she doesn’t want to. She loves him. That guy. The one who would step in front of a bullet if it meant she lived. All of that atmospheric noise about doing better or marrying up is nonsense. We all have things that make us less than someone else when you compare apples to apples. I can lift weights, but I can’t lift weights the way some guys can. I was a decent father, but I wasn’t hands-on all the time like some fathers are. If we spend our days telling ourselves that we aren’t good enough, eventually, it will be impossible to believe that we deserve to be happy.”
“Except when everyone else is telling you that, too,” I muttered, taking his glass from his fingers and drinking it back. “We should go to bed. You said you had more in store for us tomorrow.”
He grasped my chin and turned it to face him. “Who else is telling you that you don’t deserve to be happy or loved by a man who worships you the same way Brady worships Haylee. I know for sure it’s not Haylee.”
I lowered a brow and tried to concentrate on what he was saying. “Do you always use that teacher voice on people when you want them to answer a question? It’s a tad bit annoying, not gonna lie.”
His other brow went down, and he cleared his throat. “You can’t distract me with teacher talk.”
“Hmm, too bad. I’d admit I was hot for teacher if I could.”
“Tart,” he warned, his tongue coming out to lick his lips. I wanted to moan, but I could see he wasn’t going to let this go, and that was a serious turn-off.
“My mom, okay? She always tells me to settle for whatever guy is willing to take me on.”
“Take you on. Were those her actual words?”
I half-nodded and half-shrugged. “I mean, she’s not that wrong. I’ll be a handful for anyone, both physically and emotionally. There have been plenty of men who have run the opposite direction as fast as the women did when they found out you were a single father.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his finger caressing my cheek. “She never should have said that once, much less multiple times. You don’t need to settle, sweetart. You are a goddess who deserves to be worshiped, don’t ever forget that. The right guy will do exactly that.”
“I used to rage against the idea that I’m a handful, Bishop. Then it dawned on me that I am one. My disabilities, emotional and physical, will cause situations to arise that are unpredictable. Not even my parents want to deal with them anymore.”
“And that means you suffer in silence.”
“More like I just shut myself off, so I don’t get hurt again. If I don’t go out with anyone, then I don’t get hurt,” I explained, motioning at my leg.
“First of all, you are a handful. A handful for me when I cup your cheek, your breast, your hip, and that fucking beautiful apex that makes me so hard I want to come right now just thinking about it. You are not a handful in any other way. Despite your physical and emotional challenges, you are more successful than half this damn town. Do you even see that?” he asked, so worked up now he was tossing his hands around. “Do
