“Someone told me recently, if you love someone, let them go. I love you more than anything, my precious Ty, please always believe this. It breaks my heart, but I have to let you fly on your own.
Forever, your butterfly”
Placing it on the nightstand, I tiptoed across the floor and slipped out the door. In the foyer of the hotel, I waited for an Uber to take me home. I pulled up his number and hesitated but hit “block.” Next, I deleted my social media accounts and archived all our pictures one by one. Ugly crying all the way home, I hoped he wouldn’t hate me forever. I prayed that maybe Carter would explain that he was the one who asked me to do this for him and Ty would understand and forgive me.
I loved him more than anything in the world. All I wanted was for Ty to live the life he was meant to live, sharing his gift with the world without anyone and anything holding him back.
I’d survive, somehow. I just didn’t know how.
Chapter 8
TYSON
Eight Years Later
For the first time in a long time, as my thirtieth birthday approached, I was feeling positive about everything in my life. Considering LTZ had sold over 125 million records, headlined world tours four times, had over four billion views on YouTube, 140 Million Instagram and Twitter followers, six number-one singles, eleven top-ten singles, five Grammys, worldwide recognition, and all of us had enough money in the bank to never stress again, it shouldn’t have taken me this long to achieve a sense of satisfaction.
It turned out that none of those achievements mattered when it came to my self-worth and inner peace. But success sure as hell took the sting out of where I had been eight years ago, living in a shithole apartment with my crazy mom and getting dumped by a note on a nightstand by the only girl I would ever love.
When I woke up after making love to Zoey that magical night, initially I had such a feeling of joy that I couldn’t wait to worship her body again. And Again. And Again. When she wasn’t next to me, I assumed she was in the bathroom. With a morning woody, I patiently checked the messages on my phone. I remember admiring my bracelet while I waited for her to come back to bed before we both had to leave.
After a few minutes I was worried and got up to find her. That’s when I realized her overnight bag was gone. Panicking, I quickly dressed because I knew she was leaving for school and thought that she had left to meet her parents without saying goodbye.
My heart sank when I saw the note. After reading it, I screamed, “What the actual fuck!” wondering who in motherfucking hell told her to let me go? Crumpling it and throwing it across the room, I angrily grabbed my phone and dialed Zoey’s number. The beep beep beep blared in my ear, letting me now the call hadn’t gone through. I tried ten more times at least before it registered that Zoey had blocked my number. I checked her Instagram account, it had been deleted.
My heart was pounding so hard, I thought I was having a heart attack. I fought back tears when I realized her leaving wasn’t spontaneous. It must have planned.
My mind whirling, I wracked my brain to figure out what had happened. What I did wrong. I sat on the edge of the bed and mentally went over every promise we had made to each other over the past weeks. I couldn’t understand what was happening. Why would she go? Worse, why would she leave me like this? The pain was unbearable, the knot in my throat so big I couldn’t swallow. Frantically, I dressed and shoved my stuff in my bag and left the hotel so fast I didn’t even bother checking out.
I had to see her. In the Uber on the way over to Zoey’s house, I didn’t know if I was furious or sad or scared, or all three. All I knew was that I had to talk to her. Since the last day in the studio when I’d found her crying, she had been a bit distant and distracted, claiming she was nervous to go away to school. I hadn’t pushed her about it because I was frazzled trying to get the last-minute details of the tour ironed out.
Never once did it occur to me that something was wrong with us. Clearly, I’d missed the signs. As the Uber pulled up to her house, I leapt out and ran up the to the porch, banging on her front door and frantically screaming her name. About ten minutes later, one of the neighbors came out and said, “Stop yelling! She’s not here, they left about an hour ago.”
“Fuck!” I screamed. After noticing the neighbor’s shocked look, I apologized. Checking the time, I was terrified. I was due at the rehearsal space in two hours. We were leaving for our first gig in four. I slumped down on her front porch with my head in my hands and tried to call her again. Beep. Beep. Beep. Taking deep breaths to calm myself, I called another Uber and numbly went back to my apartment to pack up what little I had in the world, and then leave it behind forever. My mom wouldn’t even notice I was gone.
When I arrived at our rehearsal space to load up the van, I must have looked as devastated as I felt. I’m not proud to admit that I broke down and sobbed uncontrollably in front of all the guys and Carter. My band brothers all seemed truly shocked that Zoey had left
