I didn’t want to believe it, but my reality was the love of my life dumped me on the day that was supposed to be the start of the next stage of my career. Sure, I’d had second thoughts about leaving Zoey because she was the love of my life. But I’d worked too hard not to give LTZ my all.
“Give her a couple of weeks, man.” Zane threw an arm over my shoulder. “She loves you, I’m sure she’ll come around. When we do the show at her school, you can see her then.”
“We’ll find her, Ty. Just soldier up until Bellingham.” Carter gave me a quick side hug, but something in his expression didn’t make me feel any better.
For the first two weeks I clung to hope and was a crazy stalker sending Zoey a hundred messages on every chat and text app, begging her to call me, professing my love for her and angrily demanding to know why she left me that stupid note. I knew I was acting like a nutcase but couldn’t help it. Playing the first shows was excruciating, but the responsible side of me knew that my love life wasn’t the fan’s fault, so I tried my best. All that kept me going was rubbing the “T” and “Z” on my bracelet, scrolling through all our pictures on my phone, and counting down the days to the Bellingham show when I could find her and talk things out.
When we finally pulled into the Bellingham venue’s parking lot, I was surprised to see Carter waiting for us. While the rest of the guys loaded in, he offered to drive me to Zoey’s dorm on campus, giving me the thumbs-up when he dropped me off. Gathering my courage, I wandered inside to the front desk and asked if I could leave Zoey Pearson a note. I kept it simple, including my number and the information for the gig and that she was on the guest list.
The girl at the desk offered to put it in a mailbox and when she saw Zoey’s name, looked up at me quizzically. “Um, are you in that band?”
“Yeah, I’m Ty. I’m in a band. Zoey is—was—my girlfriend. Do you know her?” I asked hopefully.
“Um, well, yeah.” She studied me intently, probably taking pity on me since I looked desperate. “Look, I’m not supposed to give out any information about residents but Zoey was my roommate. She dropped out of school about four days after classes started. She was very depressed and wouldn’t get out of bed. I was really scared and told the RA, and her parents had to come and get her.”
“Oh my God, Zoey! Where is she? She broke up with me and I’m trying to find her. If she’s hurting, I need to get to her, but she’s blocked my number.” I was frantic.
“You should try her folks, if you know them. They packed up her room and took her home I think, so I don’t know where she is or if she’ll be back.” The girl regarded me sadly.
Horrified at the news, I called for Carter. He picked me up and we went back to the club and let the band know what I had found out. Every bit of my spirit evaporated, every ounce of positivity I had held on to for the past two weeks was on the belief that we’d reconnect in Bellingham and fix things between us. I played the gig, but it sucked for all of us because my heart was officially shattered into a million bits. After the show, I quit LTZ because I didn’t want to drag them down with me. Carter and Zane convinced me to tough it out, that they’d get me through it.
There was never any good news. Jace texted Alex to see if he could find out anything, but she didn’t reply. He pinged her on social media and got the silent treatment there as well. Within a few hours, all of Zoey’s pictures were removed from Alex’s account. I activated my own private Facebook account to message her parents, but there was no reply. I didn’t have either of their mobile numbers. I couldn’t believe it. She’d just disappeared.
Carter and Zane convinced me to try to give her some space. We’d be back in Seattle in five months and I still hoped by then she would have a change of heart and we would figure it out. Since I clearly had no other choice, I made myself feel better by sending her a loving message on WhatsApp every day, carefully avoiding anything that sounded angry or accusatory. With nothing to go on, I told myself something had spooked her. I wanted Zoey to feel safe.
But then things went either horribly right or horribly wrong because we didn’t make it back to Seattle until over a year later.
The day we left on tour we released our first single Rise. No one could have predicted that about a week after we played the awful Bellingham show, the song caught fire and exploded across the US, then Europe and then the rest of the world, hitting the number-one spot on multiple charts and holding steady for nearly a year.
Overnight LTZ became instantly famous, and life became insane for all of us.
Days bled into nights back into days as the months were filled with live shows, festivals, television appearances, interviews, fan events, appearances, and meetings all around the globe, moving the rock machine forward. Lather rinse and repeat. Time went by so fast, and our schedules were so packed, the messages I sent Zoey started to be less regular, first every other day and then maybe once a week. My only saving grace was that
