“I want to be with you too, I just need to get comfortable with people knowing about me.” Zoey finally squeezed my hand back.
“I’ve got to do a better job of looking out for you, butterfly. So, will you think about working for the foundation?” I eased onto the West Seattle bridge. “We can work out the details if you want the job.”
“You’re dead serious.” Zoey still looked shocked.
“I am dead serious. Don’t say no outright. Let the hamster wheel spin for a bit.” I pulled into my driveway and pushed the fob to open the gate. “For now, I have a lot of apologizing to do to convince you to agree to the other part of my plan.”
After I got Zoey settled on the couch with an episode of Vanderpump Rules, plying my girl with food was the first part of the scheme, she loved it when I cooked for her, probably because her own culinary skills were nonexistent.
“There is nothing hotter than a rock star who cooks, that smells amazing!” Zoey called from the living room, about an hour later.
“Roast chicken and potatoes. I am auditioning to be your house-husband.” I placed the food on the counter and put my hands, still encased in hot pad gloves in the shape of sharks, on my hips, arms akimbo.
“You are hands-down the sexiest house-husband slash chef in the world.” Zoey took out some plates and silverware and set up our places at the counter.
After we dished up the food and sat down to eat, it was time to suck it up. “I want to formally apologize for how I treated you in LA. I shouldn’t have just left you like that. I should have called to apologize. All I could think about after was getting my shit done and getting back to you.”
‘Thank you for saying that.” Zoey put her fork down and looked at her plate. “I mean, I need to apologize too. I’m used to solving my own problems, I’m clearly terrible at talking things over with you. Maybe if I could have just filled you in on the gerbils in my head—”
“Well, here’s the thing.” I tapped my finger against my chin. “All I’ve been thinking about is how us being back together has been so awesome. I want to take things to the next level, but I don’t want to freak you out. On the other hand, we’ve still been in love with each other for over eight years. We’re actually moving as slow as icebergs. Maybe we need the full-blown commitment so we can put the past in the past.”
“Ohmygod, I’ve been feeling the same way.”
“I want you with me, and I want to be with you.” I circled her wrist. “I know that we still have things to work out, but would you be freaked out if I wanted to speed everything up?”
“What do you mean?” Zoey’s fork was stopped halfway to her mouth.
“Move in with me.”
“Ty.” Zoey put her fork down and looked away.
“Oh, shit. We’re not on the same page.” I couldn’t believe how disappointed I was. “I’m sorry, I just thought—”
“Ty, you left me to take a cab to the airport after I was freaking out about losing my license,” Zoey interrupted. “I quit my job to be with you. You just asked me to be the CEO of your foundation. It’s already a lot. Now you want to add living together on top of it?”
“We spend every night together anyway,” I reasoned, but when I saw the shadow cross Zoey’s face it became even more clear we weren’t moving at the same speed. “I really let you down in LA.”
“Do you know why?”
“Because I didn’t protect you from being outed. Fuck.” I pulled away and paced the kitchen. “I’ve been trying to force myself to take things slow from the minute I saw you again, butterfly. I just can’t. I want it all with you. I don’t want to lose one more day together.”
Zoey approached me and put her hand on my chest to stop my frantic movement. “Stop. Why I’m upset about LA has nothing to do with us being together, because I don’t want to lose any more days either.”
She clasped both my hands in hers and entwined her fingers with mine. “At the same time, you’ve stormed off twice over a misunderstanding. I didn’t hear from you for nearly three days, it isn’t the way to start our new normal.”
“I guess it’s PTSD from finding that note,” I snarked.
“You know what? I’ve apologized for that multiple times.” Zoey’s voice raised a pitch. “No one knows more than me that I’m far from perfect. But I’ve already paid a big price for a foolish decision made when I was eighteen. If you react poorly and think that you can justify your reactions because of that one incident, we don’t stand a chance. The odds are already stacked against us when your fanbase realizes you’re back with ‘Z,’ the woman you villainized on the album.”
“I can’t change that.”
“No, but if you can’t stop throwing that in my face, how will the fans get behind you being with me? We can accept what our reality is today and try to move forward.” Zoey abruptly dropped my hands and cleared the plates. “Or we can call it quits.”
“You’re right.” I was such a complete asshole. “I have been doing that. I’m sorry.”
“I never wanted to break it off, Ty,” Zoey roared. “I suffered all of those years too, and you’ve forgiven Carter—”
Was that true?
Fuck.
It was.
We’d only had a disagreement
