My phone buzzed in my pocket with an incoming text, and my heartbeat picked up slightly. I had called Cory to tell him I had decided on a piece of property to buy. Even though I had come into my trust fund, I was still relying on Cory as my financial advisor. After all, I was only twenty-four, and I now had a rather impressive bank account. So, I thought maybe it was him reaching back out to me.
I pulled the phone out and saw it was from Mary, an old high school friend and the woman who had cheated with a boyfriend of mine I had been going out with at the time. I had felt so betrayed by her, especially since she had been my best friend and the one person whom I had always counted on being there. And Jase, the guy I had finally allowed myself to open up to, had turned out to be a major dick. I knew I should have let it go. That nothing she could possibly say was anything that I wanted to hear. I hadn’t talked to her since we graduated high school. Then, I caught a glimpse of the text. “I hope you’ve been able to forgive…”
Curious, I opened her text to see there was an attachment to it. I read her full text.
Mary J: “I hope you’ve been able to forgive me and that you will be able to join us.”
When I opened the attachment, my stomach jerked and a wave of nausea hit me as I read the save the date announcement.
Mr. and Mrs. Jerkins have the honor of announcing the engagement of their daughter, Mary Kathleen Jerkins, to Mr. Jase Logan. Save the date of June 24th, everyone! We are having a wedding!
I stared at the beautiful scripted announcement in teal and white.
Mary and Jase were getting married. Why in the world was I acting like I had been hurt by the two of them all over again? I honestly could not have cared less about Jase Logan or Mary. So why was this wedding announcement throwing me into an emotional tailspin?
“Timber? What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing,” I said, my voice unsteady. I deleted the message and tossed my phone to the side. I needed to get myself back in check, but that damn voice nagging in my head reminded me that I hadn’t been good enough for Jase. That he had slept with my best friend. That Mary had betrayed our friendship.
“Hey, what’s going on? What was that text about?” Tanner dropped down in front of me and lifted my face until our eyes met. “Talk to me, Timber.”
I slowly shook my head as tears filled my eyes. “I don’t think I can do this. I thought I could, and I don’t mean to keep leading you on. It’s just…”
“Lead me on?” he asked.
I attempted to keep my hands still in my lap instead of rubbing them together or against my jeans. It was something I did when I was nervous or upset. It started shortly after my mother died, and I had tried like hell to break the habit. “I’m not going to lie and say I’m not attracted to you, because I am. Very much so, Tanner.”
My words made a brilliant smile appear on his face and my insides melted.
“Why do I feel like there’s a very big but coming?” he asked.
“Because there is. I’m not sure I’m ready for this. I want to be, I thought I was. But I’m not sure I can trust you.”
His smile faded. “And why can’t you trust me?”
I laughed. “One, I don’t want a boyfriend who would be gone all the time, and I wouldn’t be the type of girlfriend who’d be able to join you out on the road. Not that I wouldn’t like it, I’m sure it would be fun…at first…but I have my own set of dreams that I’m finally able to follow. I can’t risk anyone taking that away from me.”
Tanner frowned. “You think I wouldn’t allow you to follow your own dreams?”
I gave him a half shrug, even though I knew he would.
His eyes flashed with anger. “I would never do that, Timberlynn.”
I hated that he didn’t use the nickname he had been calling me.
“I would never deny you your dreams. No one ever denied me any of mine.”
With a hard swallow, I looked away from him for a moment before I gained the strength to let at least one wall down. I had to give him something. “After my mother died, my father slowly became distant with me. So much so that he hired a nanny, Rachel, who pretty much became the mother and father figures in my life. She worked for my father up until I entered my senior year of high school.”
Tanner’s expression softened some.
“I remember so many times I begged my father to come to a school play or a dressage competition I was in. He would promise to be there but never showed up.”
Tanner took my hands in his. “I’m so sorry. Did he ever tell you why?”
My eyes stung with the threat of tears. “No. I haven’t spoken to him in a while. He doesn’t even know I’m here in Montana. For all he knows, I’m still in Atlanta working the nursing job he guilted me into taking.” I let out an unfeeling laugh. “He didn’t even wish me a happy birthday, Tanner.”
I lifted my eyes to meet his. “Please don’t look at me like that,” I said. “I can’t stand pity. I’m fine, for the most part. He always provided me with everything I could ever want or need. He spoiled me. I saw a horse I liked, he would buy it. I wanted a Jeep for my sixteenth birthday, he bought it for me. He was there for me when it came to money, just not when it came to emotions.”
Tanner’s face tightened
