“Whatever I had to. I found stuff to do. Slept various places. We were living in rural North Dakota then. So I wasn’t on the streets like it sounds. Mostly lost in the corn fields. I did manual labor in barns or picked crops in the field and earned my room and board. Then I worked for the Zavarians.”
The name he finally chose permanently. She’d wondered where it came from. He was weaving a tale that could turn out to be an epic movie storyline. “Zavarian. They gave you the name you eventually kept?”
“Yes. They let me stay with them the longest and later adopted me. That was mostly to cover the health insurance for me, rather than love. But they provided a solid, decent home for awhile…” His voice drifted off along with his gaze. There were all kinds of bad going on here. She wondered how it tied to whatever she found last night, but it had to somehow. Jim’s life story wasn’t at all like anyone could have suspected, especially Kayla. Considering he was engaged to her sister, a story of that much interest and titillation would have been repeated to her if Kathy’d only known.
Overwhelmed suddenly, she jumped to her feet. “I have to pee. I’m not going yet. But let’s take a little break.”
She raced to his bathroom where she peed and started the shower. She needed to think about this but in a way she could handle. Dialing the shower to scalding hot, she peeled her clothes off and got in. She tried to relax and let it caress her neck muscles and massage some of the stress knots out. Already she hurt for him and Jim was just starting. She washed with his soap and sad, dollar-store shampoo without conditioner. She’d have to fix that or never shower here again. It could go either way today. She was seeing the man he was, analyzing what they were doing, and deciding where that left her emotionally. That was why the urge to shower overcame her. She needed to face this with a clearer head. It would be a hard day; of that she was sure.
Stepping free of the shower, she dried off with his pathetic, small, threadbare towel that was hanging on the towel bar. The only one. One look at the skimpy material and she almost laughed. Then she was ready to cry. He lived with such austerity. Did he want more from life? Did he care about anything earthly? Would she be able to accept it if he didn’t like the same things she valued? Was it a sign of higher intelligence? Maybe he wasn’t completely against materialism. What was he thinking? She needed to know and find out.
Releasing the towel, she worked on her hair as best she could before slipping her clothes back on. She felt a bit better as she threw her wet hair over her shoulder and opened the door. Jim was still sitting on the floor with his head hanging and his wrists on his knees. His hands hung free and looked limp the way his fingertips pointed to the ground.
He lifted his head when he heard her. “I thought you were just peeing.”
“I needed to wake up. Refresh. I sensed a lot more to come and I had to regroup. Why don’t we make some coffee first? I think you have some bread left. Let’s make some toast too. You can’t feel too well.”
“You want to get more comfortable?”
“Yes. I do.”
He eyed her, and his face looked dull and neutral. But the pain glinting behind his dark eyes was too obvious for her to ignore. Fisting her hands, she tried to resist the urge to look at him with the longing she felt. He rose to his feet and slogged forward, his hair hanging down limply. There was nothing okay with him right now. No way did he want her there.
But at least he didn’t toss her out when he discovered she dumped all of his alcohol down the sink drain. It was silly because he only had to take the elevator to the ground floor and walk two blocks to the corner convenience store. Kayla only did it to prove a point. She knew better than to expect to alter his behavior in the long-term. That change had to come from him.
She went to the coffee maker, glad to see a cheap brand of ground coffee. She started measuring it out and added water to the tank.
“What did you do out here?”
“Cleaned it.” She glared at him sharply. “I had nothing else to do while you were blacked out or passed out or whatever. What’s the difference?”
He didn’t answer and his gaze avoided her anger. Turning, he flopped onto the couch. His body seemed a bowl of jelly. He slipped forward into a hunch as he had done on the floor. The coffee smelled so good that it perked her senses. Dropping two slices of bread into the toaster, she found some butter while she waited but that was all there was to spread on the toast. All at once, she left the kitchen and disappeared into his bathroom. When she came back out, she handed him two pain killers and a glass of water. “Take these. Drink it.”
He took the pills and glared at the water.
“Do it.” She had no time for extra care.
Sipping the water as if it were some kind of newly discovered healing elixir, he finished it and handed the glass back to her. She took the glass and filled it again. Tipping her head, she all but tapped her foot, impatiently waiting. The toast popped up and she buttered it generously, setting the two slices on a paper towel and pushing them to him. “Eat this.”
“I’m too queasy.”
“Duh. You need to eat and drink lots of water. You’re dehydrated.”
He glared
