“Yeah.”
“That’s how it was for me too. I left home eventually. Never went back. And they never tried to find me. My addiction was fostered by him and my mom. So I didn’t get out unscathed.”
“I don’t know if Jimmy is an alcoholic.”
“No. But maybe you needed booze to get through the other shit. Kayla mentioned some woods that you ran off into when the worst abuses were happening.”
“Yeah.” His gaze darted off. He didn’t like to talk about or remember that. But the words spewed out anyway. “I knew Jimmy did bad stuff. And now that I’m an adult, and I can finally do something about it, I never went back to stop him. Even now… when he’s here.”
Quiet followed his statement until Rob finally cleared his throat. “Do you blame yourself? You were only a kid. You didn’t do any of that. Even being connected to him as your father, you were a victim too. Right? Any asshole who tries to blame it on you is just that. Kayla said the people who adopted you reacted badly, or maybe that was just how you perceived it. I hope you’ll find someone to trust; most people aren’t so bad.”
“I don’t know. I actually expect to receive a negative reaction.”
“I don’t,” Rob said simply. “And no one who ever heard your sermons or spoke to you will believe it.”
He eyed his foot. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because you were just a kid. It has nothing to do with the man you are now. You haven’t been around Jimmy since you were what? Twelve or thirteen?”
“Thirteen.”
“Then it literally has nothing to do with your life now. He’s playing you and your natural fear of him, which was based entirely on your childhood. I’m still afraid of my old man despite my damn career. He can still make me cower. Jimmy won’t have any effect on you. I really believe that. The sight of bodyguards and your explanation to the church will mitigate any slanderous lies he might try to tell.”
Something heavy seemed to evaporate from Jim’s chest. The pressure that was gripping him since Jimmy showed up seemed to deflate suddenly. “I can’t imagine that. I’ve stressed about it for so long, it became a menacing shadow that never left.”
“There is no need to feel like that now. And you’re not a prisoner anymore. Considering that my daughter will be tied up in knots wondering how you reacted to seeing me today, why don’t you just come home with me?” Rob glanced around. “There’s no reason for you to stay here and I’m sure she could use any reassurance from you that you’re not angry at her.”
That made Jim’s stomach twist. He looked forward to being alone after two terrible conversations in two days. He glanced around. It was more depressing to stay there alone.
“She’s worried about what she did by talking to us and having me come here. If you really believe you have a problem and you now see why she did it, then come home with me and release her from her stress and worry. My personal opinion is you owe her that.”
He did. No denying that after what he put her through.
“And any true relationship includes stuff like this. Doing what’s hard or uncomfortable even when you’re not ready to is required. I suggest you decide right now if you can handle that.”
He could handle it for Kayla. Just to have Kayla in his life. He could definitely try his best. “Okay. I’ll come home with you.”
Rob nodded as he put his hand out and Jim automatically got up and shook it. “I know you don’t care about my opinion, but I’m proud of how you handled this.”
Something strange blossomed in Jim’s chest. He never felt anything like it. Since when did he care so much about Rob’s approval?
Chapter 16
KAYLA LISTENED AS ROB told her everything he and Jim talked about. Rob called her the moment he left Jim’s as he drove home. She listened until the end and asked, “You think he has a problem?”
“Yes. He had more bottles hidden in the closet. He drinks alone and goes to extremes when he does, so yes. I believe he knows he has a problem. Or the very start of one.”
“What does he think?”
“He had to admit it was odd behavior that must mean something negative. I don’t think he’s hopeless, but be aware, Kayla, it is all on him whatever he does. Not on you. And neither is it a reflection of how he feels for you.”
“How did he look?”
“Like the saddest, most alone person I’ve ever come across. He was slouched on the couch, staring at his feet.”
“Yes. I know that look. And he kind of is alone.” Or he was. She knew she temporarily changed that for him. But the alcohol? She never dreamed or imagined that. Not Pastor Jim. Her Jim. That was his outlet. Before her, sex, friendship, and cursing weren’t the ways that Jim vented. His choice was random alcohol binges.
“Do you think I should go over there?”
Rob sighed. “I prefer that you run far away as fast as you can. But do I think he’s fragile right now? And vulnerable? Yes, it can go either way for him. I think you should talk to him.”
She gripped her phone tightly as she searched for her shoes and keys before leaving the room. She sniffled and wiped off her tears. Stopping dead, she said, “I love you, Rob. Thank you for doing that. I know it wasn’t what you wanted to do. But I needed you.”
“Ah… that’s exactly why I did it. I love you too. And if he is the man you think you love, I’ll help you both, in whatever
