“Does she always take to new people this way?” he asked, holding the tiny girl over his shoulder and rubbing her back like Serena had shown him. “She seems quite comfortable with me.”
“She likes you,” Serena said, hiding her smile. “You can hand her back to me, if you want. She’s going to need—” Before she could finish her sentence a long, loud, wet squelching sound came out of Gracie, and it wasn’t from her mouth. Noah’s eyes grew comically big as he stared at Serena and she couldn’t help but laugh this time. “—a diaper change. C’mon, hand her over. Unless you want a crash course in that today too.”
While she changed Gracie, Noah looked anywhere but at them, having taken one glace at the old diaper’s contents and gagged. Serena shook her head and snorted. “Look at silly Daddy. He’s a big tough SEAL and can’t stand one stinky diaper.”
“I can stand it just fine,” he said, though his queasy tone suggested the opposite. “I just need to strategize our next moves, that’s all.”
“Uh huh. Sure.” She finished cleaning Gracie off and disposing of the soiled diaper in the plastic bag she’d tucked into the knapsack, then got her changed and ready to roll again. “All right. I’ll take the sling again, if you want. My turn.”
He handed the thing over to her—a bit reluctantly, she noted—and they were off. This time to distract herself, Serena started a game for them while Gracie napped once more. “What are you going to do once we’re out of this jungle? Me, I’m going to take a nice hot bath, then bathe Gracie before dressing us both in the softest, most luxurious jammies and then sleeping for twelve straight hours, not counting feeding, of course. What about you?”
Noah scowled straight ahead, not looking at her. “I’m going to work and keep working. I’m on a mission here and that’s to keep you and the baby safe.”
“Jeez.” She gave him a look. “I was just trying to have a little fun. What’s your problem now?”
“Nothing’s my problem,” he said, daring a glance over at Gracie. “You need to hold her up higher. She doesn’t like to be slouched down like that.”
Serena frowned, but looked down at Gracie and noticed that she did look a little uncomfortable—so she gave her back to Noah, even as she was wondering who died and made him the baby expert already. Then just as fast as that idea came into her head, another followed on its heels. He’d liked carrying Gracie. He’d not wanted to stop. Huh. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. At first glance, it was good news. Noah was Gracie’s father and they should bond. On the other hand, up until yesterday it had just been the two of them against the world. Serena wasn’t entirely sure she was ready to give all that up yet, especially to a man who’d breezed in and out of her life in one night, only to crash back into it again a year later. Literally. When she looked over at him once more, he was watching her closely, his blue eyes stormy as if he was going through the same battle inside himself. Before she could ask him, though, he strode on ahead of her, tromping through the rainforest with heavy footsteps.
“Come on, we need to keep moving if we’re going to reach our destination by nightfall,” he said to her over his shoulder. “Keep your mind in the present and stay alert to what could go on right here and now.”
7
Late that afternoon, they were still walking through the forest. Based on the low angle of the light through the trees, the sun would be setting soon. Noah adjusted Gracie on his chest and continued through the brush. It was surprising how normal it felt now to have a baby strapped to him like this.
My baby.
The words created a weird pull around his heart before he brushed them aside. He needed to stay clear and focused on the danger here, not fixated on how good the warmth of Gracie’s little body felt cradled against his. He still couldn’t quite get over how easily she’d taken to him, how trusting she was now, snoozing away with her tiny thumb stuck in her mouth. He’d been a bundle of nerves holding her at first, afraid he’d drop her or hurt her or somehow otherwise prove himself as incompetent in this situation as he feared he was. But she’d just snuggled in, no fear or hesitation at all. Like he was someone who deserved to be her daddy and not some idiot who didn’t know what he was doing.
And speaking of being an idiot, he still wasn’t sure how to handle this awkward as ass business between him and Serena either. Co-parenting wasn’t a term he’d ever associated with himself. He’d planned to stay single and stay sharp for his job for as long as possible and worry about the rest later. Messy, confusing stuff like family and relationships and the future hadn’t been on his radar at all.
Except the future was suddenly now and what the hell was he supposed to do with that?
At least Serena didn’t seem bothered by it all. He hazarded another glance over at her where she was trailing along, face turned up toward the sun, looking blissful despite everything. For a crazy second, he almost reached over to brush the long dark hair from her eyes and see that smile of hers turned toward him, but stopped himself. He had no business touching Serena Carson. For one, she was his mission. And for two, until they sorted out all this mess with Gracie, he needed to keep a safe distance from her, physically and emotionally.
And sure, he’d held her in his arms the other night when she’d had that nightmare. That was just asset management, as the guys at SSoF called it. Making sure things
