He walks toward Dimitri to negotiate price. Somebody brings over my dress and I tiredly pull it on. The meaning of Gabriel’s words suddenly dawns on me.
I’m no longer a picker. I’ll become a racer. Finally, I’ve earned a chance for a better life.
I cover my face and let out a short, hysterical laugh. I rise to my feet, chuckling and sobbing at the same time.
“We’ll be living in Central Settlement!” I exclaim, smiling at Trent.
“Kora,” my mother calls my name.
I stop laughing and turn to face her. She’s standing several feet away from me, holding my shoes, looking old and tired. Only now I fully realize that I’ll possibly be leaving my mother forever.
My heart sinks and I feel like crying once again.
CHAPTER 4
My mother slowly approaches, looking much older than she really is. This moment could be the last chance for us to say goodbye. I have no idea about procedures following the Exchange.
Tears fill my eyes. I’m about to leave my mother all alone here.
“I’ve earned an opportunity to become a racer,” I mutter, breathless.
My mother nods, avoiding eye contact. I anticipate a sudden burst of accusations, but she remains silent. I’m her only child. I’m the only person who loves her and whom she really loves.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, choking on the words.
“Will Master Gabriel be taking you to Central Settlement?” my mother asks.
I nod.
“You’ve always hated our village,” she sighs. “It’s never been the right place for you.”
I envision my mother throwing her arms around me and kissing my face as Augusta did. I crave her love. I wish for some bit of assurance that my mother truly loves and needs me. I hope to carry a drop of her warmth with me as a farewell gift. But my mother remains distant and reserved. I just stand there, willing myself to hug her but unable to perform even that simple act. We’re both unskilled at expressing our feelings.
“I’ll be missing you,” my mother says.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat. “I’m so sorry.”
No other words come to mind.
“It’s all right, Kora.” She smiles weakly. “I’m very happy for you. You were always right, I guess. I shouldn’t have tried to stop you. You need to find your own way in life.”
“I’ll come back someday,” I gulp. “I’ll earn my freedom and return for you. Just wait for me. I promise to return… and take you out of here.”
My mother’s lips quiver. “Just be happy, Kora. Just find the life you’ve always dreamt about. And I’ll be happy knowing that you’re doing fine.”
But you can’t know that, I want to scream. There’s a great chance we won’t ever see each other again.
I keep silent. If I open my mouth to say anything more, I’ll just start crying.
My mother hands me my shoes. I put them on, shivering. I try to think of anything else I must do, something that needs to be said, but my lips seem to be stuck together. My mother wraps an arm around my shoulders in an awkward and stiff gesture. I can’t stand it. I feel like some kind of selfish, ungrateful thing. What kind of daughter am I, when I’m so willing to abandon my mother?
“I love you,” she whispers. “Please be careful.”
I softly mumble more promises to return for her. I’m not sure whether I can keep such promises. But I have to repeat them over and over, because doing so is the only thing keeping me from utter despair. I have to convince myself that I’ll see my mother again. Once I’m free, I’ll return and take my mother away from here. I can imagine us living together in Central Settlement in a beautiful house near a white sand beach, breathing clean air…
Gabriel’s harsh voice interrupts my fantasy. He orders all his new servants to proceed toward the transport truck.
“Good luck,” my mother whispers.
She releases me and a moment later she’s gone. I stand unmoving, taking time to follow her with my eyes, risking Gabriel’s anger. My cheeks are wet. I’m about to leave home for the first time.
***
Some of the remaining factory girls begin yelling insults at me, expressing their excitement at my departure. I know I should ignore them. But I yell something back anyway, because I’m no longer Depressed Loser Kora. I’m heading toward a new life, so please welcome New Kora the Winner. I call the girls slum rats and stick out my tongue. It’s another act of unprecedented bravery. And I’m very proud of myself.
Approaching the transport truck, I suddenly decide I should have given them a finger instead of my tongue. The latter seems way too childish. Well, at least I did something.
I climb inside the truck with Trent, Samantha and a few others. I notice Tanya, a shy ten-year-old picker with burn marks covering one side of her face. I always feel sorry for her. I wonder whether Gabriel bought her out of sympathy. She’s another beaten-down and broken example from our village. A poor little outcast whom nobody wants to befriend.
Guards close and lock the doors of the truck. It’s hot inside and the air stinks of wet manure. I guess this truck has been used for transporting animals before. Master Gabriel travels in a separate more luxurious vehicle.
I sit down on the floor. The truck lurches forward, carrying us away from the Recycling village. I suddenly feel panicky and scared. I don’t know exactly where we’re going. I’ve never been in Central Settlement. What if the place isn’t the heaven I’ve been dreaming about? What if all my plans and hopes of finding a better life fail? What if everything I dream of just
